Thursday, April 26, 2012

I Herd U Liek Big Groupz


No "good idea" ever goes uncopied for long, and now SM is being swaggajacked on 2 fronts: simultaneous/multiple team promotions and big fucking groups.


Here's the official news report:
Pledis Entertainment is reportedly in the works of training a new 17 member boy group, comprised of members with an average age of 17. The new group, tentatively named “Seventeen,” will become the largest ever idol group in K-Pop history.
According to Star news, the overall strategy of “Seventeen” is to split the group into three separate units, and run promotions in Korea, Japan, and China simultaneously. In order to target the Chinese market, they are also planning to include several Chinese members in the group. 
“We’ve worked on this group for a long time, to have a team that can run promotions in Korea, China, and Japan. By creating a team that is specialized in each of the three countries, we’ll have a team that can completely spread Hallyu around the world. We’re training under the goal of debuting at the end of the year,” Pledis Entertainment told Star News. 
They added the new group is intended to create a new genre called “Asian Pop.” Based on the sounds of K-Pop, “Seventeen” plans to blend all three countries’ different musical styles and come up with one unified color.
Yeah. You read that right. Pledis (who can hardly manage After School, NU'EST, and soon-to-debut Hello Venus) plans to debut a 17-membered boy group who will technically be split up into 3 teams like EXO to simultaneously promote in Korea, Japan, and China. There are so many things wrong with this, I don't even know where to begin.

First of all, this group plans to incorporate 17 members. 17. Really? Groups are getting bigger and bigger, until eventually we're going to get 48-membered groups, just like AKB or SKE. And with 17 members, you can be sure that there's only going to be a handful of people who can actually do shit. I see about 4 or 5, tops, who can actually sing. Maybe another 2 or 3 who are marketed as the "tru dancers." And logically speaking, this is very likely to happen. No one wants to put all their eggs in one basket, and if a company invests all of their truly talented trainees in debuting under one "super" group, they run the risk of wasting all of that talent if the group flops. Or put even more simply, who are they going to debut to carry the useless members of a team if they don't have anyone capable left?

Secondly,  this group plans to incorporate the 17 members divided into 3 groups. Last time I checked, 17 wasn't divisible by 3, so inevitably there's going to be a country who gets the shaft and stuck with one less member than the rest. I can see wank from both netizens of the shafted country and fans of that particular team complaining about being treated like the inferior country or being the victims of neglect, or some shit like that.

Thirdly, they're trying waaaaaaay too hard to play up this 17 gimmick. 17 members, average age of 17, GROUP NAME (tentatively) SEVENTEEN? It's like their marketing team got together and said "How many ways can we milk this 17 shit?" And if a group like EXO dropped a bajillion teasers before their debut, I don't even want to think about how many teasers these guys will get.

Worst of all, they're planning to start some shitty marketing strategy called "Asian Pop." Which they plan to make by basing their sound off K-Pop... in order to represent the "unique sounds" of Chinese, Japanese, and Korean music... And by music, they really just mean "pop" music. There is so much bullshit that they're pushing on us, it's sickening.

But knowing fangirls, they're going to eat this shit up and start cooking up their bullshit numerology formulas to prove the magic of the number 17. That or start fapping about 17-membered bukkakes.

20 comments:

  1. "That or start fapping about 17-membered bukkakes."

    win

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    1. Bukkake me with the power of 9 please.

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  2. I guess its Han Sung Soo's way of dissing on the other big kpop groups. "Bitches ain't shit and they ain't sayin' nothing! A hunnit muthafuckas can't tell me nothing! I beez in the trap, b beez in the trap! I beez in the trap, b beez in the trap!"

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  3. I can see why pledis would want to do it though. Big group, divide them into different group to promote in different countries. It might work, its not like Pledis has anything to lose if it fails. They basically have three chances of success lol.

    Next thing you'll know, to play on the name seventeen, they show up on the magazine Seventeen, which as far as I know does not print out in Korea, but they do print out in Japan, thats good for the japanese sub-group lol.

    Atleast Pledis isnt trying to out do the 21 member group.....

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  4. Oh geez if it wasn't annoying enough to hear certain Sones going on and on about the power of 9... now the power of 17...? I know to avoid their articles.

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  5. "I don't want to live on this planet anymore"

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  6. antikpopzakufag, do you have gifs of SNSD's new subgroup? I think it's called tittyseo or something like that. Please let me know if you do. I am the largest private collector of your art works.

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    Replies
    1. Wait til the MV cums out. I'll have better gifs then.

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  7. It is divisible by 3 if you cut one of them in half *hint hint*

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  8. Wait isn't there already a group from last year with 20+ members?? Either way this mega-group thing isn't new, nor is the simultaneous promotion. Looks like companies are going to have to get creative if they hope to stand out from the rest.

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  9. 17??? That's friggin' crazy, Pledis be milking it. Bekah would probably have more talent in her left leg then the entire group combined.

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  10. "I don't even want to think about how many teasers these guys will get."

    Probably seventeen.

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    Replies
    1. but maybe pledis want to play with sm and put out 2000 teasers before they debut and till the world ends

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  11. This is all so hilariously tragic. I can't believe this is what Pledis is spending UEE's money on. No one gives two shits about half of After School, NU'EST are about to flop and I don't see Hello Venus doing so well.

    17 that's way too many ways to split one check. I predict that three years after debut (if this group lasts that long) each member will be worth about 300 won.

    Pledis need a damn reality check. Quality always reigns supreme over quantity. If you added up all the talent in AS it still wouldn't equal the amount of talent in say a Brown Eyed Girls or Spica.

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  12. geez.. i just can't stand after the 15-->13-->10 members of super junior,(i'm not suju anti) and now they want to release even more boy group. that kind of yuckSS~ 17 is too much! eyy,, thats why i prefer boyband or indie's where they cant stand on their feet and make their own fans. poor boys..they wont get a life..how many money each of them will get after divided to each person among the 17teen boys??

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  13. Pledis Ent History:

    *Ceo betrayed SM ent and ran off with secret SM plans on marketing groups and forms Pledis.
    *2007: Debuts an actress/model with "meh" vocals as a singer gives her plagiarized song/mv on 3rd album, although popular keeps her in obscurity for 3 years or more (apparently she has a comeback this year).
    *2009: Debuts a dance group which also have "meh" vocals, does well at first but then fades into semi obscurity, during this time they made fans who are still the only ones they have, future projects have failed to gain them any popularity. Also have a stupid graduation system which fails to do anythin but annoy their fans.
    *2010:Debut sub - unit who become more popular than the actual group and who are more active in Korea as well.
    *2011" AS comeback, does okay, wins no awards and fails to make much of an impression, adds new member and kicks out another. Debuts in Japan, does okay but fails to make much of a name for themselves. Creates sub units, screwing over AS-Blue, giving them a crappy plagiarized song concept with the least popular members, claims that it was a "homage/dedication". Both groups do fine, once again nothing special though.
    *2012: Debut boygroup with generic pop song with dubstep (who also have "meh"), fan girls go "OMGSH so good and creative/unique", announces debut of the other half of this boy group later this year. Announces debut of new generic girl group one month after debut of boy group(who have yet to have solidified their place, song sounds meh. After EXO debuts announces that it just so happens to also be debuting another boy group who may split into chinese, Korean and Japanese market with 17 members even though it has already debuted 2 groups this year who have barely made an impact and also has another group and solo artist who have not been seen for a while and who are also not popular/well known.

    -Pledis is an idiot

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  14. What. The. Living. Fuck. Is this... I thought it was just trolling .. this shit is legit...?

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  15. >mfw Hello Venus was the best debut this year

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