Friday, August 31, 2012

Hyosung's tits -- UPDATED -- the rest of the goods!



Those tits deserve their own article. Thanks to @klogglol for linking me this gif.

YO! MORE AFTER THE JUMP! -아저씨 


Secret Performs Live and Zinger Looks Decent


When I first started watching, the first thought was "God damn, it's been too long since I've watched Secret perform." A few seconds in, I thought a new member had joined Secret. I was looking for Zinger, wondering if she had been bullied out of the group left the group or not. I was like "Hey, the new member doesn't look so bad. She's 30 pounds lighter and doesn't look like a fat rat."

Question of the Week 59

Late again. Clearly, I am running out of ideas. Uh...

This week's questions will be:
Who has the worst fashion in K-pop?

[MV Review] Super Junior - SPY

Just when you thought they had released their final gasp effort at relevance, Super Junior comes back with a repackage(?) to milk the last shreds of money outta ELFs.


Thursday, August 30, 2012

T-ARA

uh huh...listen boy




Nell Slip Away Review

"Oh, AKF isn't going to review Nell and Leessang. He said the same thing about T-ara's Lovey Dovey MV, but he never bothered to review the 30 minute MV." I know some people out there thought that, but I actually did write my Nell review.



Keep Jennie Kim Away From Our Oppas!!

Jennie Kim is one of the many members of YG's upcoming girl group slated for debut sometime this year (aka SOON).

This is what she looks like in case you forgot/didn't know/didn't give a shit.
Kicking up a fuss because of YG's recent teaser, Jennie Kim showcases a variety of fresh™ looks and images in addition to a snippet of her rapping ability. As you may have imagined for a young slip of a 16 year old girl, her rap is... mediocre at best. See for yourself after the jump.

KARA are BAD PEOPLE

**This message brought to you by the Korean Ministry of Gender Equality and Family (MOGEF)~!!**

MONEY CHANGES PEOPLE, MONEY FUCKING CHANGES PEOPLE.

"FUCK BITCHES GET MONEY?" WHAT HAPPENED TO "CUTE KIDS GET HONEY?"

As you may have heard by now, KARA's recent comeback has been mired in several controversies, and they are setting a BAD EXAMPLE for our impressionable youths who fap to look up to them!! Here we draw up a list of grievances we have with KARA.

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Stupid Things Fangirls Utter 11

This week's contribution comes from Gortzilla, who I believe found the craziest fangirl out there:

Click to EXPAND


But keep reading after the page break! It gets better! (or really, crazier)

Sunday, August 26, 2012

Gangnam Style Dance Cover



You're probably wondering why I'm posting a dance cover on AKF. Well, this dance cover has a long time AKF user in the video, Cheeze. He apparently wanted people to spread the video, so I'm spreading it for him. Let's all laugh at him now.

[MV Review] 4Minute - Love Tension

SUPER LATE AS FUCK, BUT WHO CURRS

PoMinitSrut made a Japanese cumback, but since it's PoMinit and not Hyuna, no one really noticed. CEPT ME.



Phominuteslut's fans buttmad at Hyuna cause unnir on her way to be GLOBAL SUPAHSTAHH ~

Umm...lol?

While the way their fans reacted isn't really surprising in the least (wasn't sure if they even had fans sans Hyuna if I'm being honest :o) and to some extent you can understand why they're frustrated but lol let's be real, without Hyuna Phominutesluts would flop like a fish (if they aren't already considered flops oopsieeeeeee c: ). I guess the Cube CEO's announcement regarding Hyuna's global plans ~ kinda acted like a catalyst in the anti-Hyuna sentiment expressed by most Phominute fans and bandwagoners.

.......annnnnnnnnnnnnnd then I saw this get retweeted on twitter.

Saturday, August 25, 2012

Yuri is Snatching Jessica's Bra

Click to EXPAND
And Jessica ain't happy.

ExoHyun Needs to Stop

If it exists, people will ship it with something else. This rule was bound to come true for SNSD and EXO eventually, but knowing and dealing are two very different things.

At first, it was just limited to the occasional shitty edits or fanfics. You know, the crap that pollutes all of our favorite Tumblr tags when we go to browse through them for new stuftofapto content. To my shock and horror, it began to infect even the Seohyun tag.


Friday, August 24, 2012

[MV Review] Kara - Pandora a.k.a. DSP cockblocks my eyeballs


My eyes haven't been this frustrated since the Japanese version of Bo Peep Bo Peep.

This review is mostly images so read after the jump.

Yura is Hot

Seriously.
Click to EXPAND.
No but really, this is the best I've seen her in this hair. Jjangbak.

US Hiphop Magazine XXL Rates Kpop Rappers

The list sucks. I'll tell you why.

High Fashion

Okay, so here's an up to date post. Okay, a day late, whatever.



Rainbow attempts to stay relevant through fan-service; succeeds.

Boyfriend confirmed as gayest boyband

If their name wasn't already enough to convince you.

I FUCKING HATE DANI

AKF note: I'm being a dick and publishing some of David's unpublished articles. Some of these are old, so bear with me.

As you all know (half of you guys are T-ara fans after all), Dani the Tween is joining

Question of the Week 58

Whoops. Today is Friday. A little late on my Question of the Week. Sorry guys.

Anyways, this week's question comes from Victoria:
What would you do to a fangirl?

I am assuming the rest of the sentence would include: if you had the chance to meet an actually delusional one.


If anyone has suggestions for later Question of the Weeks, please send them to zomg.oppa.sareanghae@gmail.com, or leave them in the comments below. Thanks!

Thursday, August 23, 2012

Hara gets trolled in a photoshoot



Was GD Hara's stylist in this pic? Someone had to be high to think Hara looked good in this picture and chose it out of the many pictures they took to be distributed on the internet.

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Germy Scratt disses SNSD, Sonefags mad, both parties spew retardation.

Okay, so Jeremy Scott or affectionately known to me as Germy Scratt isn't a stranger to being openly retarded if you follow his antics on twitter and the media in general.

Now for all you peeps who migrated from North Korea's caves might not know him so I'll give you the low-down.

Stupid Things Fangirls Utter 10

This tumblr caption about SHINee comes from PainterSpirit:
(err... Just to clarify: she found it. She did not write this. I think)


Good detective work, shithead.

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

AKF peeps!

 ONE QUESTION:



Who has the best ass in KPOP?!?!?!?!?

Anti Kpop-Fangirl Fanclub

So, I was dicking around (as per usual) today and came up with an idea.

We need an Anti Kpop-Fangirl fanclub name.

Seeing as all the idols have one, why shouldn't we? I think it is about time we deserved something new and fun. Especially to celebrate over 3 million views!! (thank you, readers! <3 Love you.)

Monday, August 20, 2012

Diarreah of Kpop Fangirls (WATCH AT OWN RISK/CANCER!)

Hi, well I decided to go on youtube and type in "fangirling and kpop"and this shit came up. "What is this video" you ask? It all takes place when two whitegirls fangirls decide to exhibit how HIP and IN THE KNOW they are about KPOP and all things KOREAN.

Sunday, August 19, 2012

White Guy's A Condom Star!

So as we all know, the hit named Oppa's Condom Star has become "the big thing for kpop". Multiple peeps had covered that shit and make parodies out of it. However, the video above is special enough. Clearly, this white guy can teach Khun (who has been in Korea for a long time) how to drive on the road with..... The CONDOM GANGNAM STAR STYLE.

Fangirls still manage to surprise me.

Kpop has a long standing tradition of dressing all their male idols up as girls at the very least once in their career. Idols themselves have mentioned over the years that they hate being dressed as girls but still they proceed because it make the girls scream like a bunch of banshees.

Usually when this happens you see comments such as:

"He looks so much prettier then me and I'm a girl!"
"Wah, look how skinny his legs are. SO JEALOUS"
"woah!! daebak!!! (insert idol name) is prettier than a girl"
etc...

Saturday, August 18, 2012

Enter the G-Tang Clan (24 Joints)

Our beloved G-Druggin turns 24 today, and it is time to celebrate YG STYLE~!!

OPPA DRUGGIN STYLE

Don't Make Fun Of Oppa's English



Tough shit. It's okay to dog on SNSD, 2NE1, etc. for having poor Japanese pronunciation but it's not okay to dog on Junsu's poor English pronunciation? Fuck that shit. Always Keep The Fish.

Friday, August 17, 2012

RE: Black Kpop Fan Rant

Rant I saw on Kpop Secrets.

Here we go again...

Question of the Week 57

This week's question comes from Monineath:
What is your favorite back-before-the-21st-century song?

EDIT: Maybe I should have clarified. Try to keep it within Korean music, being that this is a Korean music site and all.

If anyone has suggestions for later "Question of the Weeks", please send them to zomg.oppa.sareanghae@gmail.com, or leave them in the comments below. Thanks!

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

[MV Review] AOA - Elvis


Ugh. Another group from FNC that pretends to play instruments. I'm starting to think Juniel is the only one who actually plays an instrument from FNC.

Idol Selling Self on Internet Advertisements - Online Dating Riding the Hallyu Wave

I was browsing the interwebs today and found one of those terrible advertisements on the side selling Asian women to single, middle aged, obese men living in their mother's basement who are unable to interact in social environments and are in need of a mail order bride to cure their Asian fever (not a run-on sentence at all). Also known as Asian women trying to get a passport to Canada or the United States of America.


And I would have glanced over it with no attention as I normally do with lame ads. But this one caught my eye because it reminded me of someone.

Who's gay and who isn't in KPOP!?!?!

I remember when I was young, my friends Shinji and Hiroki would come over to play while my parents were away. We would lay on the grass with one another and touch each others' bodies. We would feel the round shape of our milky white skin, caress each others' asses playfully and occasionally squeeze hard to see who's was the most firm (mine was). Sometimes we would squeeze so hard that our asses would prolapse and our anal glands would skim the green grass below us while we giggled with fear and laughter. Those were wonderful days---filled with experimentation that eventually led to a life of hidden homosexuality. To this day, when I see grass I instantly become horny and filled with guilt/pleasure.

I remember also the time we decided to stick our noses inside one another rectum/shitter. I didn't mind the smell at all. Once, Hiroki farted (silent but deadly) and I willingly let his scent enter my body and voyage up my nostrils and into my mind---causing an elation I had never felt before nor since. I'm not gay...I just loved being with my friends...my bros. Loved holding them, feeling their bodies rub up against mine as I became fully excited. It's funny now, but weird then....I remember when Shinji would rub my ass while I laid on the ground. My penis would rub on the grass and rocks beneath the grass would sometimes cut into my penis and it would bleed---I thought it was jizz.

I miss being 3 and hanging out with my friends. :)


Monday, August 13, 2012

[MV Review] Chad Future - Hello




Well I figured I would try to be more active and less useless around here and at least review something.  I clicked on the most recent article about a music video in my twitter feed and boy do I regret it...

[MV Review] Jevice - I'll Love


Jevice finally debuted, meaning that everyone from the original 5-ara, not the 5-ara getting all of the hate now, has debuted. While Jiwon just looks like Frankenstein's daughter, I was anticipating Jiae's debut since she was the main vocalist of 5-ara.

Sunday, August 12, 2012

T-ara Witch Hunt Goes Full Retard


T-ara's Soyeon has just gotten into a car accident while on the way to film for Haeundae Lovers. Thankfully she and all the other passengers are more or less in one piece, but that's not the reason for this article.

No, once again we come to the primary instigators of the whole T-ara "scandal" in the first place -- the random netizens chiming in on the issue.

Orange Caramel to Make Laziest Japanese Debut Ever

With After School long-debuted in Japan, it was only inevitable that Orange Caramel was going to follow suit. It seems like a perfect fit, right? Japanese people love kawaii shit, Orange Caramel bleeds kawaii out the rectum, everyone's happy.

But then this shit dropped into our laps like a sack of turds.

Friday, August 10, 2012

[NYSLT] Microkid - 새로움

This edition of NYSLT is brought to you by Microkid! Microkid is a Korean five-member indie-rock band that debuted in way back in 2005. With only a few singles and a mini album under their belt, they went pretty lowkey until the release of their first full length album in 2009. While I realize that I've mostly been featuring newly released music on NYSLTs so far, I've only just discovered them now. 3 years isn't THAT big of a gap anyway.

My favorite song off the album is 새로움, or "Newness." I couldn't find a single song off the album on Youtube, so I went ahead and uploaded it myself. You're welcome.


I especially love the whimsical sounding xylophone-like main instrumental chord. The sparse backtrack of the song lends itself well to the light vocal style featured in the song, creating an almost vaguely sinister sound.

The rest of the album is great, so be sure to check it out!! I recommend 그 곳에 가지 않아 (Nymph of Shampoo) and Let Go.

Question of the Week 56

This week's question comes from Harshmin:
What, in your opinion, are the best/cleverest and worst/stupidest fandom names and why?

Did we have this question already? I honestly cannot remember. Oh well, carry on. 
 
Personally, I absolutely love Jay Park's Jay-Walkers. I don't care what any of you say. It is clever. More clever than B2ST's Beauties, G.NA's G.NIs, Girls Day's DAI5Ys, MILK's Milky way, MyNAME's MYgirl, N-SONIC's Super Sonic, One Way's One Love, Rain's Clouds, Se7en's Lucky 7, Park Bom's BOMshells, Minzy's MINJas, and Sunggyu's Chingyus (all of which I giggle at in amusement). I pretty much adore any fandom names that are fun and are connected to the idol(s)'s name.

And I did like telling people out loud that I used to be a PlayGirl (until you changed, After School. You changed, man).

OH, and Boyfriend's is Bestfriend. Ha! You know what that means? That means you got friend-zoned by 6 guys, fangirl! Suck it!

Thursday, August 9, 2012

[MV Review] PSY - Gangnam Style


Sorry this shit came out so late, we were swamped with the T-ara shit blowing up in everyone's faces added to general laziness and/or life. All excuses aside, we're probably going to use this weekend to push out reviews/commentary on all the groups that have made debuts/comebacks in the past few weeks. AKF oppa kicked it off with his reviews of D-Unit and m-flo's Square One, so without further ado I officially declare Review Dump Weekend in session.

Here's the review for PSY's wildly popular Gangnam Style.



[NSFW] Fangirls get a vibrator or something yo.

Click at your own peril.

m-flo Square One Review

This is going to be a short series where I review some albums. I'm picking albums that I would actually recommend to someone, which is why it's highly unlikely I'll review any idol albums. I know some people are probably thinking "What the fuck, m-flo is Japanese." Well, yes, but m-flo has worked with a lot of Korean artists in the past, feature 2NE1 on this album, and Verbal is Korean himself. The only other albums I plan on reviewing in the forseeable future is Nell's album and Lessang's album, mainly since I never reviewed their title tracks when they came out. I'll probably also review Epik High's album when it comes out, since it'll be the first true Epik High album since 2009's [e].

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

[MV Review] D-Unit - I'm Missing You



uh lah lah lahhh uh lah lah lahhhh or KPOP AND DONUTS

So I've been quite a busy pervert/homosexual this whole month. I haven't been following Kpop much for the past few weeks other than the whole Hwayoung being raped by T-ara stuff. Also, that one Gungdum Style, Gangam Style,  or Gangbang Style  song that came out and everyone is raving about has apparently went viral and even news organization in the US are fapping over it  (I kind of like it too but Japan does weird better).

So here's a kawaii little tale that happened to me this week that is Kpop related

It all starts with donuts...mmmmmmmm


Stupid Things Fangirls Utter 8


Oh, come on.

The more I find, the harder I facepalm. I get progressively more upset as I read these comments / posts.

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

AKF Spy Report #IDF remember (Boram Edition)

This time around, AKF had a chance to catch up with the next global superstar...Boram for some serious business. Although bullying someone is a time consuming job, Boram had rescheduled the daily routine to talk about life for a moment.

[NYSLT] Skull & Haha - Busan Vacance

Today's edition of NYSLT is brought to you by Skull & Haha. The old folks out there may recognize Skull from his YG Entertainment days as part of the Stony Skunk duo with Kush, but I'm sure the majority of you know Haha better from his variety outings on Running Man and Infinity Challenge.

Pretty much forming the GD&TOP of Korean reggae, these two have collaborated to release the awesome summer jam of Busan Vacance.



To be honest, it's more like Busan Vacan-C but you know how finicky Koreans are with foreign syllables. Anyway, this MV is one of the best damn examples of how to film an MV in Las Vegas.The whole MV is pretty much Skull and Haha getting crunk in Sin City with random bitches and their reggae swag, all while inviting people to come vacation in Busan. It's hilarious mindless fun that gets even better with all the random cartoony/weed graphic effects, and it totally works with the feel of the song.

Like I said earlier, Busan Vacance is a summer party song through and through. Skull's bits are the only real reggae-ish bits of the song because Haha's parts feel more like a traditional rap (especially as you get closer toward the end of the song) but the way these two play off each other really work well. As it stands, reggae purists will probably shit themselves with rage because of the mainstream crossover, but the rest of us will be too busy jamming out to care.

The only quibble I have with the song is the completely random dubstep dance break that feels really out of place in a party jam, let alone something by a couple of reggae artists, but the MV makes it work by giving the spotlight to Lee Gwang Soo (the actor, but probably better known for his Running Man antics).

Definitely give this song a listen!!

Monday, August 6, 2012

Wonder Girls bomb in Japan

Well, I guess Nobody wanted to listen to the Wonder Girls in Japan. They got to the 14th spot on the Oricon chart and only sold 7,460 copies of their album.


Great Kpop Boobs

In the spirit of the Olympics, I would like to give out my own awards to the women of Kpop.  It's one of the main reasons I enjoy Kpop so much.

Saturday, August 4, 2012

[NYSLT] Ulala Session - Beautiful Night



Back in May, Ulala Session released this MV. To be honest, I never paid attention to them until I heard this song from them that was featured in Bridal Mask. I decided to check out some of their other songs, and I found Beautiful Night. Had I known Park Han Byul was in it, I would have watched it the day it came out.

Grass is green, Shindong is groce and shippers are retarded.

Encountered this ridonkulous screencap a while back so I thought I'd share it here.

This screencap originated from a secretive moderated membership (they stalk your background before they accept you by googling your username to see if you're a spy *gasp!*) forum dedicated to shipping a Kpop couple. Sounds pathetic? It is. It takes a substantial amount of money to run forums, you might be aware of this if you interact with admins of international forums or if you see the donation bars etc.

I wasn't aware of this but apparently some hardcore SEA shippers stalk idols after Kpop concerts to see who they interact with etc and to primarily find 'evidences' about their ship.

Friday, August 3, 2012

Question of the Week 55

I think we all know what this week's question was going to be:
Did Hwayoung deserve to be kicked out of T-ara? What is your stance on this whole event?

Thursday, August 2, 2012

[MV Review] NS Yoonji - I Got You

As you may have already realized, I'm quite behind on my MV review schedule because of the recent clusterfuck that T-ara has become in the past few days. It's rather late, but here's the review for NS Yoonji's latest release "I Got You."


Hopefully this will make up for the apparent lack of fappibility that was Wooyoung's Sexy Lady review.

Kara to take their only chance at a successful comeback

Knowing that Korea forgets about them every day that they aren't shaking their asses on national television, Kara has made a simple observation and a quick announcement for their comeback on the 20th.





Wednesday, August 1, 2012

[NYSLT] Neon Bunny - Plastic Heart

This edition of NYLST is dedicated to Neon Bunny. Real name Im Yu Jin, she's a Korean Indie artist who started off as a keyboard player for The Black Skirts (another Korean Indie band). Her general sound is a mix of electro-pop with enough indie vibes created by her light vocals to keep it distinct from the electro beats KPop's currently pumping out.

Coming off the runaway success she had with her first album Seoulight (well-earned in my opinion and also deserving of a spotlight), Neon Bunny recently dropped a mini album entitled Happy Ending.


I picked Plastic Heart as my favorite from the mini because of the dark feel of the song. The gritty bassline grounds the song to create this great juxtaposition between the grungy electronica bits and Neon Bunny's airy vocals. It's the kind of nice and medium-fast tempo that's pretty easy to get into as well. 

Definitely try to check out the rest of her mini, but if you don't, Plastic Heart is pretty damn good on its own.

South Park Explains Kpop Fans



Kpop fans are doing mental gymnastics to turn stuff out of context into "bullying."

Stupid Things Fangirls Utter 7


I don't think Minzy should be subjected to that. A little cruel, isn't it?