Thursday, January 31, 2013

[MV Review] Chuck - Mine

Well folks, since the day DBSK basically imploded, people had begun to lose hope that the JYJ half of the equation would ever do any promotions for new music ever again. Or rather, would ever be relevant to the rest of Korea ever again. What with netizens shitting on JYJ (dey call em Crime-Y-Crime in Kolea) and their continual cockblocking done by SM, things were looking dire for the motley crew. It's not coincidence that the last studio album released by JYJ coincided with the birthday of AKF. Without anything better to do, Chuck, aka the biggest J in JYJ, started up this blog in order to bitch at the crazy fangirls that had and continued to make his life a living hell.

In any case, SM's lawsuit settlement finally eased some of the pressure on JYJ's excommunication from the Korean music industry, and with the new window of opportunity opened, (RE)ENTERED CHUCK.

Here's my long-awaited review of Chuck-oppa's latest cumback to the KPop scene.




First off, I want to preface this review by saying my every word is being examined and fact-checked by Chuck himself in order to prevent me from shitting all over his video with the disclaimer that it is in no way biased or preferential toward Chuck because it's his video/site or some equally ridiculous rationale that would implicate a compromise in my objectivity as a reviewer. BLESS YOU CHUCK FOR FINALLY CUMMING BACK TO US ALL

Anyways, Chuck's MV is the brilliant epitome of KPop cinematography and conceptual originality. It's more of a concept video than the traditional song-and-dance in a box type we're used to, but Chuck's genius manages to shine through nonetheless.  Part storyline and part slo-mo cam faptacle (fap + spectacle = faptacle), watching this has simply blown my mind beyond repair.

MFW I watch this MV every time.
From what my inferior mortal brain can gather, the music video is a huge allegory for the trials and tribulations of the past 3 years of Chuck's life. After being separated from his lover Yunho and excommunicated from the KPop industry, he was cast out into the DMZ to fend for himself far from civilization or fangirl gifts.

OPPA NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~!!
Alone in the wilderness, he finally had time to think for himself. Without the overbearing influence of Lee Soo Man's cock down his throat or ravenous hordes of fangirls trying to rip his pubes out, Chuck finally came to the conclusion that all his life up to that point was spent being told what to do. He felt constrained, forced to do everything but what he really wanted, pretend to be everything that he wasn't.

Notice that he's bound by chain through his neck only. He's free to move around, but only on
a very short leash. His knockoff Bane mask represents his lack of freedom of speech and
how everything he said was filtered and distorted.
Fed up with all the bullshit, he decides to break free of his chains aka file a lawsuit against SM Entertainment and get the hell outta DBSK.

Breaking out with style~
He realized he could no longer avoid his problems, instead he realized he had to confront them head on and balls to the wall.

The crows are fangirls/haters/SME staff, etc.
Finally free to do whatever he wanted, he transcends reality and sprouts glorious wings and ascends to a higher plane of existence in a shower of golden sparkles.

AKA Makes a cumback.
It's all confusing stuff to the untrained mind, but with enough watching, even I could figure this shit out. There's also a lot of phallic imagery in the MV, perhaps hinting at his repressed homosexuality and his eventual outing as a sparkling angel of faggotry.

There is a long, shiny, and black protrusion on his face that simultaneously sprouts from his
head and obscures his face. It symbolizes his love for having a big thick meatpole slapped
across his face.
Different angle, but this time also containing a gesture that can only be identified
as either his favored blowjob technique or his preference for spitting out rather than swallowing
the big wads of cum shot into his mouth.
This is Chuck double fisting a snake. I think you know where this is going.
It's a very slickly produced MV that really reflects the visual kei influence and direction Chuck decided to take with his lead single.

That being said, I really enjoyed his new song. Rarely seen before in KPop without inducing cringes (I'm looking at you, DBSK Triangle and Super Junior Don't Don), the visual kei angle wasn't really explored too well until now. Certainly not in a musical sense, unless someone would like to prove me horribly wrong. At any rate, it's a rock sound heavier and more raw sounding than anything CNBlue or FT Island has put out thus far. 

I wish Chuck had gone with an even heavier sound with even more growly vocals because the song as released, while pretty good as is, definitely sounds like a more radio friendly version of a proper visual kei song.

TL;DR:
Slickly produced autobiographical MV for a surprisingly good poppish-Visual Kei rock song.

+:
  • relatively fresh visual kei concept
  • interesting song
  • autobiography of Chuck's life
  • Chuck
-:
  • rather diluted radio-friendly execution
  • not enough growls/rawness for da visual kei, should be more HAM
I give this song 4 tramp stamps out of 5.

Click to EXPAND

16 comments:

  1. "There is a long, shiny, and black protrusion on his face that simultaneously sprouts from his
    head and obscures his face. It symbolizes his love for having a big thick meatpole slapped
    across his face."

    Round here we call that hat, "The Big Black Shocker" and I'm dying for my next ride on it.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Only a 4/5? ONLY?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CByORN0SEd0

    ReplyDelete
  3. Akf i so the proud you! Truest artist after Big Bang.
    I am enjoyed Mine song sumwhat, but only 45 first sec of it.

    I missing my true otp LSMxYHxJJ. :'(

    ReplyDelete
  4. 1st gif - shit, I thought it was a feminine version of Darth Sidious.

    ReplyDelete
  5. This is really the best mv song any kpop idol ever put out.
    Sounds like jroxk

    ReplyDelete
  6. Chuck opparchan, hwaiting!
    Beat those skinny-asses of SNSD and win those motherfucking music show awards!
    Well, if you're allowed to perform I guess, I don't follow gay-pop that much anyway.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I seriously could not see this as a "kpop" video. I kept thinking: "visual kei visual kei owait i'm watching jaejoong's video."

    I like it tho

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. its visual kei for gay----er men
      I am just disappointed he didn't go Victorian goth drag like other visual kei bands :(

      Delete
  8. jpoprock with a horrendous Korean lyrics and singing. Step up your game, Chuck. Soyeon isn't ever going to want you, if you half-ass yourself like this.

    ReplyDelete
  9. play drake or rihanna's take care to this song

    or vice versa

    same exact vid y/n/y

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-zzP29emgpg

    ReplyDelete
  10. I am disappointed in Chuck Oppa T-T

    ReplyDelete
  11. what is this epic display of homosexuality?

    +1 for male kahi

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. and ugh cassies tvxq jaejong fans dun try to covur it dat dis mv is no Drake ft. Rihanna - Take Care rip off wit dese animuls, slomo nd dark concept

      Delete