Saturday, February 28, 2015

Film review: Make Your Move

Every day people ask me to review things, so I thought why not do a review of a film?  Especially a film that's relevant to the world of k-pop, and that few of you have seen (I couldn't find any other reviews of this film anywhere in the k-pop blogosphere).  Yes, that's right, it's time for Kpopalypse to take a look at BoA and SM Entertainment's "Make Your Move".

boa-and-taemin copy

"Make Your Move" collected mixed reviews when it came out, and had such a reputation for being crap among k-poppers that even BoA fans didn't want to watch it - but how bad is it, really?  Does it have any redeeming features?  Should it have been more successful or was the mass box-office shunning completely justified?  Time to find out, as Kpopalypse braves his sanity and jumps in front of a speeding, tap-dancing bullet just for you, the dear readers!

Zaku's Bias List

People have been asking me a ton of questions about who I actually like in KPop, and for some reason, you internet strangers actually care about who another internet stranger blogging about KPop enjoys looking at. I'm honestly touched. ;A;

It's been a long time coming, but I finally got around to throwing together a list of ladies in KPop who are da BEST OF THE BEST. (And before anyone asks, I'm probably not going to put together a list of males unless there's enough demand for one. inb4 Zaku ur so gay lmao)

Friday, February 27, 2015

Cao Lu is extremely popular



...in my pants.

Rainbow Fans, Stop Worrying About Their Popularity

Rainbow fans during every comeback because all they worry about is music show rankings.
I have been jamming to Rainbow's Black Swan for the past week. I like the song so much that I plan on buying their Innocent mini-album. Everyone in this group is attractive. Yes, everyone.

Thursday, February 26, 2015

The Best of the Worst: Feb. 26, 2015

It's another week and another Best of the Worst. In this edition, we've got KBS' latest bans, G-Dragon's cry for help, and Hani talking about how she passed the time during EXID's two-year stint in kpop purgatory.



[MV Review] Rainbow - Black Swan

RAINBOW'S BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK



I'M NOT WORTHY

Tuesday, February 24, 2015

A Collection of Lovely Comments We Get on a Daily Basis




At AKF, we often get comments that don't get posted for various reasons like the posting is too old or they violate our strict misogynist agenda. Today is your lucky day however, because you're getting a "peek behind the curtain" as it were at some of the funnier ones. I've also supplied an audio link in case you're illiterate. (Of course if you can't read why are you here to begin with ... Oh, right MS Paint dicks.)

Monday, February 23, 2015

The tragic number: An exploration into how badly trios fail at being good



Every time I clap my hands, a seven member boy group debuts, every time I blink, a six member girl group debuts with either a fierce or cute concept depending on the result of a coin toss. From solo artists through to 204920491 member groups, there is some quality to be found somewhere in the K-Pop sphere, yet one number seems to have been forgotten by the gods of good music: 3. Whilst trios have succeeded in such irrelevant categories as making a lot of money, they have never passed the most important test of all: my opinion, and that's all that matters really. This is why I despaired when Tiny-G lost based Myung-Ji, I knew it wouldn't work and I went on to be proven right because Ice Baby was an ejaculate stain of a song. In this article I will be going through a series of three member groups and sounding off to whoever will listen as to why they are so bad. I will not be including sub-units because three member sub-units usually turn out quite well. It will be a thrill ride for all involved.



Suzy tries to be a hat whore and fails; still succeeds in being a fat whore

Miss A member Suzy filed and lost a lawsuit against a fashion store over a hat dispute, sources say. The latter marketed one of their products as a Suzy hat without the consent of the idol. Suzy was seen wearing the hat in question (pictured below) prior to this lawsuit.

Sunday, February 22, 2015

Kim Hyun Joong plans to marry his pregnant ex-girlfriend + Dispatch releases timeline = victim blaming!


Most of you know, by now, that Kim Hyun Joong (actor/singer/girlfriend beater/member of SS501) previously admitted to beating up his ex-girlfriend (Victim A) and breaking her ribs - albeit under the guise of attempting of "practising martial arts". He has always vehemently denied that he was a serial abuser when said ex-girlfriend brought up a lawsuit against him, in an attempt to sue him for domestic violence. However, the lawsuit was eventually dropped and Kim Hyun Joong was ordered to pay a measly penalty fee.

Now, according to reports released in the magazine Women's Sense, Kim Hyun Joong has apparently reunited with victim A and has plans to marry her as she is now...pregnant. 
In the March issue of magazine ‘Woman Sense’s March issue, they wrote, “Kim Hyun Joong reconciled with his two years older ex-girlfriend and are expecting a baby. The baby’s mother is Ms. Choi (31), the ex-girlfriend who sued Kim Hyung Joong for assault.” A close friend of the couple told Women’s Sense that Kim Hyun Joong and Ms. Choi peacefully reconciled when the idol sincerely apologized for his actions after the assault case. The magazine went on to quote the friend who revealed, “Currently, Kim Hyun Joong is worried about his upcoming enlistment into the army while both families are discussing about marriage and the baby.”

Saturday, February 21, 2015

Three Month Report

Let me take a break from doing something important such as fapping to Han Hye Jin reading to make this report.
It has already been three months since I have taken over AKF as the head administrator and I would like your guys' input on how I am doing.

Kpopalypse Fashion Class - school uniforms

It's coming up to Seoul Fashion Week yet again, so that's a good excuse as any other for another episode of Kpopalypse Fashion Class!

juteontie

We all know how fashion articles on other k-pop sites usually go - inane boring light-on-content list-post clickbait bullshit.  Instead, why not experience a fashion article that has actual information in it and experience what many other k-pop websites could potentially be like if they stopped catering to 12-year old fuckwads?  Also as a bonus, you can either perv on the pictures of hot k-pop girls, or learn how to look like a hot k-pop girl worth perving on by others!  Could this post be any more perfect?  Read on and find out!

Thursday, February 19, 2015

The Best of the Worst: Feb. 19, 2015

It's that time again: 



Yes, Sports Chosun released its latest girl group ranking. There's some big changes from last year, like the meteoric rise of AOA and Hani EXID. But fear not, friends, some things remain the same: T-ara is still getting the shaft as they stay mired in shit tier, aka the "Popular Maginot Line."


Soyeon demonstrates how high she thinks T-ara should rank.

Monday, February 16, 2015

HAPPY 15 MILLION VIEWS!

It may come as a surprise to you recent influx of readers from various locales and states of asspainery, but we've managed to cross the 15 million view threshold!! 


After nearly 4 years of trolling, racism, sexism, sensationalism, slander, MS paint dick painting, cultural appropriation, objectifying women, homophobia, clickbaitery, and overall degeneracy, we've managed to stumble on the winning formula to keep dragging your eyeballs here on a daily basis. Whether you're here to fap, troll, or god forbid, actually discuss KPop without being crucified as a heretic, we here at Antikpopfangirl wish to sincerely thank you for all of your attention throughout the years.

We literally would not be here today without your continued support and loyal (somewhat) readership, and I can hardly believe all the wonderful things that we've accomplished. From our humble beginnings to reaching mainstream status when people actually wanted us to go to KCON, it's been a wild ride. I can't tell you how much hate mail we've gotten over the years, but every time someone tells us something like "Thanks to AKF, I realized how childish and delusional I was being in regards to my KPop," we know the world has become a (very very very) slightly better place. That or it's become a shittier one because we've converted another person into buying our twisted rhetoric of women-beating and racial oppression.

If only we monetized the site all this time...

Here's to the next milestone!

Saturday, February 14, 2015

My Day at AKF HQ (Mum's basement)

It’s just an ordinary day here at Anti Kpop-Fangirl Headquarters (aka Mum’s basement), or at least it seems like it.


Kpopalypse's netizen comment history and netizen comment translation tool

Everyone's jumping on board the netizen comment translating trend lately, and as I've been learning a little Korean lately some people have asked me if I might ever consider or be interested in doing the same.  Never one to forsake a good bandwagon, Kpopalypse is now here to answer two pertinent questions:
  1. What's with the explosion in netizen comment translating happening lately?
  2. Will Kpopalypse ever enter the tough and competitive field of translating netizen comments, and if so, which ones?
eunjungwrite copy

Come on a journey now with Kpopalypse into the wonderful world of translating netizen comments!

Friday, February 13, 2015

1deep9u: Sohyunna's guide to the arthouse in K-Pop



K-Pop is a simple enough thing to define, it is pop music in the Korean language; simple enough, right? Arthouse has no such luck, often being used as a catch-all term for anything without any explosions, in a foreign language, made for under £4, or completely incomprehensible. K-Pop music videos are usually simple to understand and very high budget, but I have chosen to explore the MVs which are more similar to Michael Haneke than Michael Bay. At least, that's what I will say but it is more than likely (read: absolutely certain) that these actually aren't arthouse at all and I am just posting them for a few cheap laughs. Either way, I will be looking at, as yet, an undecided number of videos and telling you why they should be screened in smoky picture, houses and analysed by turtleneck wearers for years to come, along with the arthouse directors who they mirror the most.


Han Ye Seul Models For Elle


I have no idea which brand she's modeling for, but all I know is that as one of the many followers of Yeseulogy, this photo shoot will help me fap to her as she looks great.

Thursday, February 12, 2015

The Best of the Worst: Feb. 12, 2015

Welcome back, friends, to the bullshit that never ends. We're back to bring you the latest, the greatest, the most important kpop news of the week. We've got another plagiarism accusation, an idol who likes it when girls fart, and troublemaker Gayoon.


Miss February in the Bad Girls of Kpop Calendar

Wednesday, February 11, 2015

[EXCLUSIVE] Interview with Fiestar Jei!

Here at Antikpopfangirl, we pride ourselves on cutting edge journalism and truthful, unbiased reporting. We won't lie to you like Brian Williams and we certainly won't quit on you to go host a mainstream talk show like Stephen Colbert.

No, AKF readers, we're dedicated to being unironic champions of the One True Way to appreciate KPop and all things KPop-related -- with copious amounts of MS Paint dick pics, juvenile masturbatory jokes, and shameless cackling from the depths of our mothers' basements while our fingers are practically stained with the very integrity we hold so dear. Or Cheetos, it's been a long time since we've last washed our hands.

With that said, our reputation, like that of any notorious public figure on the Internet, has recently come under fire by a group of well-intentioned watchdogs dedicated to policing the content we put out despite their stated desire to ignore everything we do. Don't worry, folks, we've definitely taken notice and you shouldn't feel the need to hide yourselves like some KPop idols trying to donate to charity!

In order to clear the air and hopefully start taking a step in a direction we all can be proud of, I've taken the opportunity to call in some favors to schedule an interview with longtime reader Fiestar's Jei about life and AKF in order to show rather just tell you that we're just as great of a KPop site as any other. You can think of us like a click-baitless Koreaboo or an Allkpop with morals or a Netizenbuzz without the cesspool they call a comments section.

Proof shot of 100% authenticity.

Tuesday, February 10, 2015

080-SONE-AWAY - Sone Away Services

That's right kids, it's time for another Kpopalypse fanfiction!  This one's for all you SNSD fans, plus all of those who have been asking me for methods on how you can emotionaly deattach yourself from a fandom!  Read on and be entertained (or not)!

jessica-snsd-no-regrets

Monday, February 9, 2015

Saturday, February 7, 2015

Jonghyun Doesn't Need A Girlfriend


Jonghyun says he doesn't need a girlfriend, and I'm here to explain why. And for some reason, it seems like a writer on AKF covers Jonghyun relationship status at least once a year. 

Thursday, February 5, 2015

The Best of the Worst: Feb. 5, 2015

Welcome back, friends. This week, we have a grab bag of stories, including an idol who's aggressive in bed, the story behind a song, and what the future holds for one actor/model.

Also, AOA's Youkyung sees the light of day. 


At left, Youkyung: the fallen half-angel

Stupid Things Fangirls Utter 74

This week's photo comes from Shamica:



Thank you for your submission!

~*~*~

Tuesday, February 3, 2015

Join Caonimas, the Kpopalypse fandom - or don't

It seems more and more people are becoming fans of Kpopalypse, and naturally I'm very flattered.  I got quite a few questions recently about if I have a fanclub, and what it should be called, etc. so to fulfill demand in the official absence of any such thing, I've decided to make my own official fandom, the Caonimas!

jieunnnnny

Monday, February 2, 2015

Yuka (moumoon)



This week's spotlight is on Yuka, the vocalist for the Japanese band moumoon. She has straight teeth, making her hotter than 95% of other Japanese girls right off the bat!