Monday, November 30, 2015

The Kpopalypse guide to common k-pop logical fallacies

It seems that many people in the world of the onlinekpoposphere (which is a neat word I invented just now) don't know how to argue correctly, or have trouble picking up on other people when they are constructing arguments without sufficient adherence to trufax.  To aid these people, I've put together the following list of common logical fallacies used in arguments by k-pop fans, netizens and media outlets.  Sure, you can get all this information elsewhere on the Internet, but you should get it here instead, because only the nicest and most awesome people read Kpopalypse posts.

eunjungglass1

Sunday, November 29, 2015

Friday, November 27, 2015

Tips for v-loggers so they can suck less at life

I don't like v-logging and never have.  However I realise that v-logging is a very popular pastime, so I thought it might be helpful if I outline some of the ways in which v-logging could do better, so hopefully all the k-pop v-loggers out there will read this and learn from it and lift the quality of their v-logging and then the world will be a happier place.  Well, okay, that probably won't happen, but what will happen is I will get to write about why I don't like v-logs which will make me feel better and will also probably annoy a lot of people.  If your own v-log was selected for this post, try to look past the usual Kpopalypse tone and take on board the constructive feedback within, won't you?

vloghead

Monday, November 23, 2015

"Lovelyz Don't Have The 'Skills' to Win #1"


So I was reading this article over at Netizebuzz about how Lovelyz had their phones taken away from them until they reach #1. I mean it's pretty obvious that Woolim is just as shitty as every other company in K-Pop when it comes to respecting their idols and it's also obvious that Lovelyz is an amazing group that deserves everything. However this comment just made me laugh:

3. [+129, -40] Do they even think it's fair that a group with their skills and their song wins #1?

Sunday, November 22, 2015

[UPDATE] STFU Revived...Fo Relz Dis Tyme

Okay, so I personally made a change to the STFU series by removing someone who had hardly posted in the past three years and replaced her with someone who I thought was the best upcoming author on AKF...and then he went AWOL. Until PTS returns (if he does), I'll be taking over the STFU series.

The best way to contact me is through email: hanyeseul_fag@yahoo.com. Send all of your submissions there. I tried the Twitter and ask.fm thing and didn't like either one of them, so I stopped using those long ago. Don't send any submissions to my Twitter or ask.fm since I'll never see them. Depending on how many responses I get, I'll try to get an STFU post out by the end of the month.

Dara+

It's time for another Kpopalypse fanfiction!

darahanbok1

This one's for all you people who are sad that YG and 2NE1 don't get enough attention around these parts.  Read on and be entertained!

Saturday, November 21, 2015

CL - Hello Bitches



Whatever you're doing, stop what you're doing and watch this MV right now. It is the best thing you'll have seen in a while.

Yura is an attractive human

Everyone should already know that Yura is awesome, but she still provides us with more evidence.

First, she really, really can draw/paint


A photo posted by YURA (@yura_936) on


Friday, November 20, 2015

Popu Lady - Gossip Girls



Popu Lady released Gossip Girl yesterday, and it may be their last song as a five-member group. I'm sure after seeing how well f(x) has been received as a four-member group, maybe Popu Lady thinks they can kick out their own Sulli.

The song is alright. It deviates from the saccharine sound they are known for, but their pre-release tracks were better, especially this song. At the very least, they all look really hot in the MV.

Thursday, November 19, 2015

Best of the Worst: Nov. 19, 2015

I was sitting alone in my room today, like I often do, meticulously Photoshopping my favorite Exo members into "Star Wars" scenes, when I thought to myself: "There's got to be an easier way for a girl to fulfill her Exo/'Star Wars' fetish."

Thankfully, SM and Disney — in an unholy collaboration for the ages — recently gifted us with this not-at-all-creepy photoshoot:


This pic alone is enough to supply
my prolific fanfic writing for the next decade.

Just think of all the role playing ...

and lightsaber crossing ...

Wednesday, November 18, 2015

Monday, November 16, 2015

AOA are hot Santas

Apparently, AOA is endorsing some random company called BC Card. I have no idea what this company does, and to be honest I don't care, as long as they provide us with such glorious content.






I hope more hot girl groups will dress as hot Santas.

Sunday, November 15, 2015

Big boobs in k-pop guide part 3 - private parts investigations

In the never ending quest to determine boob size, Kpopalypse is back with the third big boobs in k-pop post!  Several new busty entrants in k-pop have appeared, plus there are still many existing idols who have not been covered.  Come on another journey into (or perhaps between) the breasts of your favourite Korean idols!

qriprivate

Be warned - this post is bigger than Qri's implants, so it might lag a little on slower devices, like netizens' brains.  Proceed with caution!

Friday, November 13, 2015

Seolhyun Needs to Learn from Namjoo


If you are a regular reader of Netizen Buzz and/or K-Pop, K-Fans, you probably noticed the 30 articles about Seolhyun every week. Naturally, Seolhyun would have an interview that addresses the comments about her.

Thursday, November 12, 2015

Best of the Worst: Nov. 12, 2015

Hello again, friends, and apologies for skipping out on last week's Best of the Worst. We're back with this week's shittiest kpop news, including someone who likes Namjoo a little too much, a girl group who wants you to calm the fuck down at the airport, and idols who look cute in glasses:


Hyominnie didn't make the list, but she should have.

Haeryung's Coming For Your Penis



I have been watching a few recent fancams of Haeryung and was trying to figure out why she seemed much hotter than usual.

Wednesday, November 11, 2015

Weekly Showdown: Twice VS. CLC

So JYP's  much anticipated rookie girl group, Twice, recently made its debut with the song "Like OOH-AHH." I didn't really like the song the first few times I heard it, but it eventually grew on me. It's not great, but it's pretty catchy and fun. I decided I'd put Twice against CLC for best debut, since these were two of the "better" debuts that happened recently.

(You can go ahead and check out last showdown's, Armpit Hair VS. No Armpit Hair, results here. I assure you you'll have lots of fun.)




For me, both songs were pretty good, but I'll have to go with "Pepe." It's just a better song in general. Drop a vote below for your favorite debut! I'm pretty sure a lot of you are gonna vote for Twice since their visuals are like holy-fucking-shit impressive. And on the other hand, there's Sorn ... *sigh* 

Twice's "Like Ooh-Ahh" or CLC's "Pepe"?

Twice - "Like OOH-AHH"
CLC - "Pepe"
Poll Maker

Monday, November 9, 2015

What do the lyrics of BEG's new song even mean?


Brown Eyed Girls recently came back after a two year break with "Brave New World". The first time I heard the song, I was like 'what the actual fuck is this shit'. It sounded like one of those many disjointed messes in Kpop that just make you wanna scrunch your face up in disgust. The second time I heard it though, it wasn't as bad, and the third, I fell in love. This song is so fucking good. Although I gotta say I am disappointed with the Miryo rap break. I think it started out okay but halfway through her flow disappeared into thin air. Nonetheless, I kept replaying this song, and I'm not the type of person to replay songs so that's saying something.


Sunday, November 8, 2015

The Male Idols You Wanted More Of


Suho's not on this list. This is just a nice photo of him.

You guys nominated. I tallied (by hand, that shit took forever). You guys voted, so here are the top 5 most voted for males that you guys wanted to see more of.

If none of the top five meet your required standards, I've included a cult favorites towards the end, and if that doesn't tickle your fancy, well, sorry.

Saturday, November 7, 2015

Understanding plagiarism and song ownership issues so you don't look like a fuckhead on the Internet

A couple years ago I wrote this post and then this other post about plagiarism in k-pop, to help the people I encounter understand the basics of what plagiarism is and is not.  I still gets tons of questions every time a new k-pop plagiarism or song ownership dispute appears, which seems to be about once per week lately.  So in the spirit of "teach a man to fish rather than slap them across the face with a fish", as well as the spirit of "please stop asking me these stupid fucking questions because nobody cares", Kpopalypse now brings to you a nice, simple guide to finding plagiarism in your favourite k-pop songs!  Yay!

iuhead

Friday, November 6, 2015

Black K-pop Idol Lives Matter


So we have a K-pop idol who is now black, so that means Korean police officers (such as Girl's Day) need to be on the lookout.

Wednesday, November 4, 2015

An introduction to k-pop music genres part 2 - more stuff and things

Recently I did a post about some of the different music genres that are explored by k-pop.  Although it wasn’t supposed to be a complete list, people still complained anyway about me leaving out their favourite genres (along with their other usual complaints).  The smarter readers would have realised that I left certain genres out for a reason, but there were a few genuine oversights that I probably should have covered.  Also, I started getting questions like this:

cringe

I thought it would be fun (for me and people who enjoyed the previous post) and annoying (for everyone else) to revisit the topic of music genres and go through some genres that k-pop explores but which I didn’t cover before.  Let’s do it!

grenre2header


UCAAD Joins Rania


Uh, remember what I said during the SM Audition article the other day? That applies to a company like SM, but if you're not East Asian with light skin, and especially if you're not Asian at all, NOW YOU HAVE A SLIVER OF HOPE!

Yes, your sliver of hope is now joining desperate nugu groups where the likelihood is that you won't make any money.

Sunday, November 1, 2015