Wednesday, August 31, 2016

Han Ye Seul for High Cut

A photo posted by Han Ye Seul _ 한예슬 (@leslie_allwehaveisus) on


Hey everyone, enjoy these pics of Ye Seul while I'm busy preparing a bunch of articles for when I'll be gone because of work. I'm trying to write two months worth of articles, so bare with the constant shitposts for now.


Monday, August 29, 2016

K-Netz Confused About Soyu's Selcas


So Korean netizens are making a big deal out of Soyu showing her cleavage in a selca.

Does anyone even stan Soyu for her face? Everyone's just here for the TNA when it comes to Soyu, so be glad she crops off her forehead so that she can show off her cleavage. 

Sunday, August 28, 2016

Friday, August 26, 2016

Things Kpopalypse dislikes in music: k-pop ballads

It's well known that Kpopalypse doesn't like k-pop ballads, but why?  What is it about ballads that makes them suck so much?  Are there any good ballads?  If so, what makes a good ballad good, and a bad ballad bad?  Can ballads be bad meaning good?  Read on as Kpopalypse explores the trufax about k-pop ballads!

balladhad

Thursday, August 25, 2016

JYP x Hyoyeon x Min x Jo Kwon



Fans of Hyoyeon and Min, who have been friends for a long time, finally get their wish of a collaboration between the two. Unfortunately, it sounds like a piece of a crap Teddy composed. I feel bad for giving this MV a view because it doesn't even deserve a single view.

This has also furthered my conviction that Hyoyeon should never been in a subunit.

Wednesday, August 24, 2016

YG is Real Hip Hop


Too cool to pay their taxes.

TL;DR They used Bom's drug channels to hide profits and to shift income. See, Bom still had a role to play in YG instead of reminding people every day that it's Halloween.

Some Hot Girls & An Apology




Here's OMG's Binnie really going for it. In semi-related news, this week's Girl Group Wars post is going to be delayed until I'm fully moved. Sorry about that -- things should be back to the normal schedule next week, if everything goes according to plan. More pictures of hot girls to apologize for my lack of dedication are below the cut!

Monday, August 22, 2016

Inkigayo Cockblocks IOI


Inkigayo is cockblocking IOI. Music Core also cockblocks IOI, but that isn't making the news. Why this is making the news is because IOI possibly could have won on Inkigayo, or at the very least been a lot closer. Actually being there gives you more points or something (I don't know, I stopped caring about music show wins in early 2010 when SNSD was promoting "Run Devil Run", Kara was promoting "Lupin" and T-ara was promoting "I Go Crazy Because Of You" at the same time. Good times, and I stopped caring who won because in the end if you were a fan of all three, we were the winners.)

No, I present an alternative theory. In the age of the SJW, I wouldn't be surprised if someone hasn't said it yet. If someone hasn't actually made this claim, I am shocked.

INKIGAYO IS RACIST AGAINST HALF KOREANS LIKE SOMI! BOYCOTT THE RACIST FUCKERS! THEY DON'T WANT WHITEY ON STAGE!

Sunday, August 21, 2016

Yang Hyun Suk's Guide to Promoting Black Pink


As you know, one of the ways for Kpop groups to become really popular is to promote in other avenues aside from music. It's how Kpop lures us all in for the long haul. However, Yang Hyun Suk has found an ingenious way to promote his new group.

Saturday, August 20, 2016

Tiffany's guide to Korean culture and lifestyle

Ohmigosh, hi everybody it's Tiffany here!  I'm so happy to be here!  Kpopalypse always gets questions about Korean culture but he doesn't live in Korea, so he asked me to write something about my favourite country in the world for you who are thinking of coming to Korea!  This is absolutely unexpected and exciting and humbling all at the same time!  Let's learn all about Korea!

tiffanykorea

Friday, August 19, 2016

I Love Jessica


The ultimate fucking shade! Not long after Tiffany photoshopped Sica out of the 9th anniversary photo, Jessica posts this timely picture with the "I Love Seoul" caption near the bottom right.

Confirmed: Sica's Blanc & Eclare shades are made from Sica's shading. That's why they cost what they do.

Wednesday, August 17, 2016

[MV Review] WJSN - "Secret"

For those of you who saw the review before it was supposed to go up -  yeah I know I'm a fuck-up. I kept the original comments though. Anyway...


WJSN make their first comeback since their debut, and the MV is probably the best of the summer.

The Kpopalypse 2016 bias list

I have no fucking idea why so many people care about my biases in k-pop, but it seems that plenty of you do because I get asked questions about this shit all the time even though my bias lists are publicly available to all.  Nevertheless, I'll freely admit that the landscape of hot women in k-pop has changed somewhat since my last bias list post 18 months ago, and therefore a revisit of this important topic may be relevant, so that means it's time for an update!  Who is on the Kpopalypse bias list for 2016?

biashead

Girl Group Wars Round 1: Twice vs. Pledis Girlz, April vs. Sonamoo

Ready to dominate.
Welcome to the first round of AKF's Girl Group Wars! The intro post can be found here, and remember you can always follow along with the bracket here. Voting opens now and closes in a week. Let's get cracking!

Monday, August 15, 2016

Is Tiffany's Career Over?


If you're like me, you probably found while browsing Twitter on the shitter. (Fun fact: A 10-minute dump a day equals a week's worth of paid vacation. 10 minutes * 5 days * 48 weeks / 60 minutes = 40 hours.) Naturally, I'm basically the last blogger to post about Tiffany's short-lived solo career.

[MV Review] I.O.I. - Whatta Man



Tasteful concepts for underage girls are no longer an impossible dream!

Sunday, August 14, 2016

suho_ftw's Favorite K-Pop Workout Songs



I had been thinking about doing it for a while so I finally got my gym membership in March and have been going to for 2-3 times a week as well as minor exercises on other days.  So I decided to make a list of my favorite workout songs. These are songs that inspire me to get off my ass or keep going for an extra minute or two so I thought I'd share them. I'm only giving twenty since there are soooooo many songs in k-pop that are suitable for work outs. No particular order either.

Momo Teases Us about the JAV We All Want to See


Yeah, I'd "watch" it over and over.

WJSN - "Secret" Teaser



Aw yeah, Cheng Xiao is 18 now.

Saturday, August 13, 2016

SNSD Ruined SM Station



What's new with SNSD? I mean, aside from Tiffany photoshopping Sica out of the 9 Year Anniversary of the Hateful Eight.

Friday, August 12, 2016

The Kpopalypse Fandom Insanity Scale

With the emergence of YG's new girl group Blackpink who in true YG fashion have debuted a cool, casual 32 months behind schedule, curious caonimas now wish to know what I think of their fandom.

blackpinkq

However, I wasn't sure that answering this question was a good idea.  Kpopalypse blog has always been about teaching k-pop fans to think for themselves rather just go along what what's trendy or accept what some dickhead on the Internet spoonfeeds them, even if that dickhead is me.  So rather than just answer these questions simply, I thought - why not give readers the tools to determine by themselves exactly how insane any given k-pop fandom is?  Enter the Kpopalypse Fandom Insanity Scale!

Seolhyun Gets Laid, Everyone Flips Shit

Seol has been listening to Kpopalypse's fashion advice, it would seem
So, Dispatch blew up their spot and now both agencies have confirmed that Seolhyun and Zico are dating ... aka that they are "comfortable sunbae-hoonbaes". Yeah, I bet they're comfortable. Reaaaaal comfortable.

Meanwhile everybody is giving Seolhyun shit for running from a taxi to her man's house (admittedly: it is hilarious) while having the SHEER AUDACITY to wear a short dress in public.
Like A Cat, featuring modesty at its finest
I don't know why people are so shocked at the sight of her legs ... have these people never seen an AOA video before?
4. [+87, -16] How can she go in a man's house dressed like that? Way too short..
You better believe I dress cute when I'm going to see my boyfriend, and I'm nowhere close to being Seolhyun-level hot. No reason to waste that body on sweatpants.

Plus, as we've learned from this truly incredible piece of journalism, Zico knows how to treat a lady right. He might look like a prepubescent girl, always make her come to his place, or even ask her to dress up for him ... but there are some things that are always worth it.

Frankly, though, I'm most excited to watch the NetizenBuzz admin, a known Block B fangirl, continue to flip her shit via negative comment translation. Stay mad, everybody!

Thursday, August 11, 2016

Here's Why I Like BLACKPINK



Warning: this blog post contains genuine emotion and soulful reminiscing. Read at your own peril.  

Obviously Nayeon's Vibrator (fka AKF) fucking hates BLACKPINK, while I feel tentatively positive about them. Here's why I feel the way I do, as has been made clear to me by this video.

Wednesday, August 10, 2016

Fancam Appreciation - Twice's Sana



Thanks to pikachuwei for linking this. I'd say I'd eat Sana's ass out, but after my last fic, I'm not sure that would be a great idea.

Tuesday, August 9, 2016

Introducing: Anti Kpop-Fangirl's Girl Group Wars!


Yesterday's debut of BLACKPINK has brought new life to the constant fan wars between girl groups, as Twice fans flood YouTube comment sections worldwide. In honour of the completion of the third generation's holy triumvirate of big-label girl groups, and the fact that AKF is going to be short on posts in the coming months, I've decided to launch a March-Madness-style girl group bracket. Hopefully, through a combination of votes and my own impeccable judgment and taste, we will be able to determine who is the true ruler of third generation girl groups, worthy of joining the Hallyu Pantheon.

Black Pink Fucking Sucks



Listen to Twice instead! If you really want to know what I think about Black Pink, read below.

Monday, August 8, 2016

[MV Review] BLACKPINK - Whistle



Many things about this song are cool. The line "make him whistle like a missile" is not one of those things.

[MV Review] BLACKPINK - Boombayah



Welp, I was wrong

Twice's Mina fat shames fat girls



It's okay fat girls. I find you sooooo sexy shoving that Big Mac down your fat throat. Yeah, washing it down with Diet Coke is going to make you super sexy.

Sunday, August 7, 2016

Fancam Appreciation - Twice's Momo



I think Momo's performance deserves its own article. Thanks to the anon who posted it in the Mina article.

PSA: Reduced Posting for the Rest of the Year


It's that time of the year when I basically have to disappear from AKF for the next four months. I will be traveling for work for half of that time (that I know of, could be up to three months once my schedule is settled). I'll still have articles coming out every week (and I even have a series of posts planned that will cover every day in October), but expect the overall activity level on the site to reduce a lot. I know suho_ftw and kalliope start the fall semester for college soon as well, so they probably won't be posting as much either.

I expect to return full time (as opposed to writing short scheduled articles with days-old news) at the end of December when I'm on vacation, but that will be short-lived as I go into the spring busy season.

I guess me being gone for half the year every year is better than closing the site. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Saturday, August 6, 2016

Fancam Appreciation - Twice's Mina



MINA NEEDS TO DO A SEXY CONCEPT.

Also, if anyone finds a Momo fancam of the same performance, feel free to link it in the comments.

Friday, August 5, 2016

Hyuna and The Good Fan

It's time for another Kpopalypse fanfiction!  This one's all about everyone's favourite k-pop solo artist and ex-member of 4Minute, Hyuna!

hyunahead

[MV Review] 9MUSES A - Lip 2 Lip



What is the use of a 9MUSES subunit that doesn't include Hyuna?

Seungyeon has a Kiss Scene with another Girl


Oh, how I wanted to see the day that a female actress/idol has a kiss scene with another female actress/idol. Too bad the other female is Hwadog, the former backup dancer of T-ara. Sorry, but I'm not into bestiality.

Thursday, August 4, 2016

I.O.I. Conveniently Forgets That Somi Is 15



Of the seven members in this group, 5 are underage. So yeah, black leather and latex was probably not the way to go.

Every Solo Debut from 2016 Reviewed

2015's solo debuts are reviewed here

In honour of Fei's sextastic solo debut, I've decided to do a mini review (like, a few sentences. I have a day job) of every single female solo debut from 2015 and 2016 (so far, obviously). Here are the debuts from 2016 so far:



Wednesday, August 3, 2016

Irene's Web Drama Surpassed 2M Views


So Irene plays some kind of nerdy chick (who looks super cute in those glasses) in her new web drama. 1.9M of the views are me jacking it to Irene.