Tony Moly chooses JYJ to be their representatives

I didn't think they'd be getting any endorsements, but hey, they still do.

 

At their press conference, an AKF reporter asked "Why JYJ?" Tony Moly's representative then stated:

Our former endorsers T-ara image didn't quite fit in with our new promotional strategies. We needed an image change, so we chose JYJ. We thought JYJ could help us expand overseas and into new markets.

First, we want to market to males. We want to tap into the homosexual market, and the best way to do so is by using Junsu. Damn, he looks the part. We originally wanted to use Jo Kwon as our new endorser, but no one gives a shit about him in the rest of Asia, so Junsu was the next best choice.

Secondly, we wanted to market to wife beaters. Yoochun and Jaejoong are known for beating the shit out of their female fans, so it was a perfect fit. If the husband/boyfriend beats the shit out of his wife/girlfriend, our makeup can cover up the bruises and it will look like domestic abuse never happened.

That is why we couldn't use T-ara anymore. Makeup can't cover up the effects of bullying, but it sure works wonders for domestic abuse.

Dumbfounded, the AKF reporter asked why their new promotional strategy seemed so insensitive. A moment later, the PR manager walked onto the stage and it was none other than...

Kim Kwang Soo?! Yes, and this is what he had to say:

I'm a fucking genius. No one else has thought of this marketing strategy before. You may ask why I removed my own group from endorsing Tony Moly, but hey, I have the Midas Touch. I'll end up making more money through this shit. If you don't agree with me, I'll sue your ass.