wat the fk, no 1 riting about apink???!

speshur note: deez apink my favorit grls frum cube bcuz trolol

The Group: I've always been conflicted about A Pink. At times, they remind me of SNSD in their glory days (when laws were stern, and justice stood, and people was behaving like SNSD was good) with the consistently catchy songs, convincingly cute outfits, and great chemistry. On the other hand, they're fucking boring. Their entire concept is a rehash of the classic "Look at me! I'm Sailor Moon and I can wink!" concept, which inevitably becomes unbearable. And there's also the problem of how fake they feel.

The Song: Moving away from the surgary sweetness of their previous hits, Hush Hush is much more disco-driven (think T-ara), and unfortunately catchy. I say "unfortunately" because the song is filled with a shitton of, well, shit (i.e. "ooh ooh", or the entire Engrish rap fuckery), but in the end, it's still a catchy mother fucker.

trying. so. hard.

Bomi: Cute. But not very convincing, especially when she tries to be cute. It seems to me, that she is only too aware of how pathetic they look with all the winks and sweet smiles. Or her facial expressions are just naturally awkward, I don't know. Regardless, she's in the upper half of A Pink.

Namjoo: No. Although with Hush Hush, she has become slightly more bearable, she is still a flaw. Something about her nose... See 'My My' if you aren't convinced.

ooh ooh

Chorong: Faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat. She is a cutie, to be sure, but her smile often looks so awkward, it's distressing. Otherwise, she's great. Besides, I like fatties (see: Su- but no, I'm not allowed to do this anymore).

Eunji: Possibly the only "genuine" member of A Pink. She constantly looks as if she's actually having fun, as if she's actually happy. And maybe she is. She's also a very adept singer. All of these qualities should make her the most amiable member of the group by far, but I don't care for her. The reason is simple enough: She reminds me of Victoria. And anything that vaguely reminds me of the gross clusterfuck that was Victoria on Invincible Youth is repulsive to me.

so qt convincing wink!

Hayoung: A little-known fact: "Hayoung" is in fact a unisex name (and coincidentally, mine). Whether or not her parents named it Hayoung after seeing it was a hermaphrodite is irrelevant, how it managed to convince Cube to let it join A Pink is. 2/10. (Okay, she's not that bad. Hush Hush has seen marked improvement on most of the shittier members).

Yookyung: Hyoyeon. Shindong. Yookyung. This girl is a ruiner. She's like a rounder, uglier, chubbier, manlier Kan Mi Youn. She ruins A Pink and Kan Mi Youn. Fuck her.

how to look like a classy nympho 101

Na Eun: The fakest of them all. Incidentally, she is the most beautiful. She knows exactly what she's selling, and exactly how to sell it. Again, it helps that she has a sexy, petite body and an adorable face. Regardless of how fake her smiles may be, the way she exudes sex appeal while still attempting to maintain the "cute and innocent" guise is just fucking irresistible.

Best performance thus far, because these outfits are so fucking great (especially on Na Eun)

Disclaimer: I am not Zaku, nor God (and if you choose to believe they are one and the same, that's fine). I don't make my own gifs; most of these were found on tumblr and various other corners of the interwebz, but if you want credit or something, fuck you.