I worry that maybe my makeup-less face and my plain clothing might be harmful to Hyori’s image.”--Aeri Lee

I'm sure you probably read about this (or probably don't really give a shit about it at all) but Lee Hyori's sister Aeri Lee was recently interviewed by some Korean news station. I know what you're thinking:I would never have guessed some Korean news organization would ever interview someone who is Korean?....Holy Fuck. Or should I say...HYORI FUCK!

"Some men ask me how I look when I speak with them on the phone I say: You ever hear of Lee Hyori....think the opposite of that in looks....and old"--December 4, 2012

Aeri was interviewed looking like complete shit this week. When asked about her looks in comparison to her famous and fap worthy (in 2007 amirite!?!?) sister she stated: I worry that maybe my makeup-less face and my plain clothing might be harmful to Hyori’s image. In other words, she feels like her face (and mostly likely body) will create negative publicity for her sister. All I can say is: Ummmmm, you think?

Aeri, listen to me. No man is going to want to smell your butthole if you look like shit. We may like assholes, but dammit we hate the SMELL of shit and women who look like shit. True story: I was once at a strip club and some stripper was shoving her ass in my face--as much as I wanted to like her ass being rammed down my nose. I couldn't help but noticed the immensly strong odor of SHIT emitting from it. I swear it was the worst lap dance ever. Every time her butthole came close to my face---SHIT SMELL CITY!

As for you Aeri, here are some tips you and every single female reader of AKF can follow to make you not EMBARRASS your sister (or friends) with your horrible looks: 

1) Put some fucking makeup on---it works for Hyosung.

Prepare to fuck at night...throw off bed and scream in the morning

 2) Dye your hair... Look like a kpop slut and just go blonde or some other color that isn't black.

look at these sluts being sluts and dying their hair. Bet those pubes are still black though. How many of you think Uee shaves down there? Her vag probably looks like Jabba the hut threw up and made a baby. Would you fuck that baby? Also, that bitch from Orange Caramel---I would so Orange Caramel all over her face and underarms....if you know what I mean.

3) Distract the fact that your face is ugly by working out and getting a nice body. Also, hot legs are a plus! Example: HYORIN. Bitch has a fabbbbbulous body! Damn, I swear I'd lick a dolphins nads just to rub my dick all over her legs. How does a person fuck legs anyway? hmmm. The only thing I can think of is to stick your dick behind her knee and have her bend the legs (lower and upper) around your dick so it's like a sandwich. Then you can feel free to fuck it basically. Probably get lube so you don't rub so much on her leg that it causes burns on the dick or leg. SANDWICH FUCKING? Did I just create a new phrase. "I soooo want to sandwich fuck Hyorin." "Yo dawg, I just sandwich fucked my babysitter." "Hey, I'd love to sandwich fuck that girl next door...shit she's 11...thought she was 31."

Hyorin is fine as fuck...legs of a goddess face of a walrus.

4) Purchase an animal to distract from the fact that you are aging. It works for other celebrities. Not saying who though.

 

ok Aeri. Follow these 4 rules and you'll be A-ok. 


One more thing: Learn to tie men up with that yarn behind you. Pretty much any man that looks at your face will run away in terror---best you just strap them to a chair and start chomping on their balls.


God Bless--2012