Chocolate Abs Awareness Day

Our boss a long ass time ago was saying to me, "all of us male authors cater to our male readership with our fapworthy photos that we post. Maybe you, our female author, should cater to our female readership. Go find some chocolate abs or something". (note: Not transcribed verbatim. Pretty sure it went down a little more rudely with the word "bitch" and "I'm your pimp, ho!" in there somewhere. But he sounds really formal in my head).

So I did.

Here are your fucking chocolate abs, girls.

I have literally combined two of your favourite things. Chocolate AND abs. Now you can actually lick it! I deserve a Nobel Prize in 'Korean Entertainment Industry' for this discovery. 

To all you boys, I found this shirt for you:

I sell them in: puny/pansy-sized, medium, and depressingly alone.


But what seriously prompted me to write this post was an article I found on AllKPop (the leader in Korean News, of course) the day after Valentines Day. Which, to be fair, is very kind of them considering most fangirls were probably crying alone that day, telling themselves that "oppa is coming for me today! He said he would in my dream after we made sweet, sweet love!!" 
Essentially, this article was the "Top 10 Chocolate Abs ranked by MBC's 'Section TV'". This was their ranking:

1. Kwon Sang Woo

2. So Ji Sub

3. Lee Byung Hun

4. Cha Seung Won

5. Julien Kang

6. Song Seung Hun

7. Gong Yoo

8. MBLAQ’s Lee Joon

9. Park Si Hoo

10. 2PM’s Chansung

Which prompted many horny fangirls to post pictures of their other oppas and argue that more of 2PM, 2AM, Big Bang, and Rain should have been on there. Someone was even upset that JYP was not on there. Are you seriously checking out JYP!?

I was reading the comment section (which is always hilarious there because the vast majority of commentors on that site are stupid and immature), and noticed that fangirls become pirates when they have dirty thoughts:

Does this confuse you, too?

And of course, there was the waterfall of nosebleeds that all fangirls had to discuss. Disgusting.

...

Dirty fangirls.

~*~*~

BONUS: I found a shirtless photo of our founder, Anti Kpop-Fangirl, too! How foolish of him to post it on his Twitter when he has to many followers! Keke~

Oppa, you should be more careful. Many of your anti-fangirls will fap to you now~!

Also, what the fuck is going on with your shoulder blade? You should get that checked out.

(That's JYJ's Jaejoong in case some of you readers did not know)