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Monday, December 23, 2013

Seohyun Needs to Step Her Game Up

As you've seen all over the front page of AKF, SNSD recently put on a concert called Märchen Fantasy. We got some lovely performances from the SNSD ladies, namely:
If you've not seen them yet, you're welcome.

All wonderful fap material for their respective stans or aficionados in general, but one notable/glaring/egregious lack of fanservicey performance stands out among the rest.

Seohyun and her cover of Sixpence None the Richer's Kiss Me (here's the original if you're like me and never heard of this song before).

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK MAN

Alright, I don't care if she killed it with her fairly good pronunciation. I especially don't care how cute she was in her stupid hat or when she was throwing those stupid gifts to the crowd or that dorky peace sign before leaving the stage or that goddamn "Merry Christmas" shit.

THE LACK OF SEXY.EXE IN HER HARD DRIVE IS KILLING ME MAN. Let me put this into perspective for you.

Sunny fans get stuff like

Jessica fans get stuff like


Yuri fans get stuff like

and this from back in the day:

Sooyoung fans get
I made this. l0l
Tiffany fans get stuff like



Taeyeon (who did a snoozy cover of Grown Up Christmas List or something) and Yoona (who did nothing) fans may have been left out in the cold this time, but at least they have these to fall back on:

Too lazy to find a gif of this, sorry not sorry.
I made this too, l0l
Don't ask me for the original fancam, I lost it ages ago.

Hyoyeon did nothing too (more on that for a future article), but I suppose you could ogle her in her Dancing with the Stars appearances if you are so inclined...


Okay my point is, everyone has had at least one solo stage or solo effort wherein they put on a little somethin' somethin' for the fans EXCEPT SEOHYUN. INSTEAD, WE GET THIS??


Girl please, I know you're trying to maintain a good public image, BUT IT'S TIME FOR A NEW IMAGE. ALL YOUR UNNIES ARE DOIN' IT, WHY NOT YOU

She needs to step her goddamn game up, cause we all know she the baddest bitch in SNSD. For the love of god, someone update her drivers or something, install Windows 8, anything. ;A;
at

34 comments:

  1. 364LeinadDecember 23, 2013 at 12:40 AM

    Wow, 5 articles about my bias group in one day? I guess it really is Christmas. Sooyoung was my favourite because it was the best song and the hottest performance (Though it was INCREDIBLY close because the five that did hot concepts were REALLY smoking hot and all the songs were great) And holy shit that Yoona gif oh my fucking life.

    ReplyDelete
  2. RealJWDecember 23, 2013 at 12:40 AM

    dont forget PSY's cover of 24hours!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 364LeinadDecember 23, 2013 at 12:41 AM

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jvItBm9-EqU I take back everything I just said about Sooyoung

      Delete
  3. AnonymousDecember 23, 2013 at 12:43 AM

    Apparently she wasn't going to do a stage at all because of musical practice but this is the last time I let it slide. That body's not meant to be wasted like this. If it's any consolation there's hope for the comeback cause she looks dynamite in the teaser: http://i.imgur.com/TznbACi.jpg

    ReplyDelete
  4. 364LeinadDecember 23, 2013 at 12:54 AM

    http://choisiwonthirstprincess.tumblr.com/post/70796620646/cankle-porn-awesomejneska-daniiiann23 Speaking of SMTOWN week, can anyone confirm this is legit. It just seems EXTREMELY far fetched.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Mike MessiahDecember 23, 2013 at 1:11 AM

    we need more Tiffany Hwang sexinesss

    ReplyDelete
  6. BloomDecember 23, 2013 at 1:37 AM

    Yoona has no ass.

    ReplyDelete
  7. comekpopDecember 23, 2013 at 2:01 AM

    Stay Strong! We just have to take that last photo of Seohyun looking leggy at the bottom and and use our imagination and we'll have the sexiest performance that outsexes the other members.

    ReplyDelete
  8. RealJWDecember 23, 2013 at 2:04 AM

    It would be hilarious if they give SeoHyun a wassup twerk cover

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. AnonymousDecember 23, 2013 at 9:26 AM

      she'd just injure her leg and then insist on sitting it out.

      Delete
  9. NoDecember 23, 2013 at 3:40 AM

    Sooyoung does not possess the capability to be attractive. She's an anorexic stick with a bobble head on top, looking absolutely deformed with hips smaller than her head.

    Kiss Me was a pretty big song here in Europe and it's nice.
    I think her performance was fine and showed her talent (eventhough I don't care about her) more than the others did.
    Pretty sure Seobot fans don't look forward to her slutting it out. E.g. I was also irritated by Taeyeon doing Lady Marmalade in that outfit.
    I don't think you're an actual fan of her, you just want her to produce more fap material, which is a big difference.

    "install Windows 8" - Because of the touch gestures support ? haha

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. SciFiRobotsDecember 23, 2013 at 6:29 AM

      This comment has been removed by the author.

      Delete
    2. NoDecember 23, 2013 at 6:42 AM

      This comment has been removed by the author.

      Delete
    3. NoDecember 23, 2013 at 6:42 AM

      Sounds more like a sarcastic rant from beginning to end.

      Delete
    4. zakuDecember 23, 2013 at 4:42 PM

      I'M NOT AN ACTUAL FAN OF HER? BITCH PLEASE

      I SAT THROUGH ALL 51 EPISODES OF HER WE GOT MARRIED STINT

      DON'T FUCKING TALK TO ME ABOUT TRUE FAN BULLSHIT

      Delete
  10. CombatBabyDecember 23, 2013 at 4:11 AM

    GODDAMNIT SEO! I wanted Taengoo to do something like Lady Marmalade again too...

    Sad. Seo is always strumming her stupid guitar singing the softest ass shit. She should have done Wrecking Ball.

    ReplyDelete
  11. 7thirtyDecember 23, 2013 at 4:26 AM

    Speaking of sexy Seohyun,

    where's that gif of her where she rubs her hand down her tit. I fucking love that GIF.

    ReplyDelete
  12. GeassuDecember 23, 2013 at 5:13 AM

    That "Ma Boy" cover was terrible but Tiffany save the day with that steps, even if she is bad at dancing... btw fapping

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. AnonymousDecember 23, 2013 at 9:27 AM

      finally someone other than me notices that she can't dance.

      Delete
    2. Nayeon's VibratorDecember 23, 2013 at 10:12 AM

      Most Sones know that Fany couldn't dance to save her life.

      Delete
    3. TheFishHookDecember 24, 2013 at 7:04 AM

      i think its super wide hips fucking up her movements

      Delete
  13. Nayeon's VibratorDecember 23, 2013 at 6:23 AM

    Seohyun lost her #1 position for me when she didn't counter Sexica's Miss Korea performance.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hire Robbie PetrinoDecember 23, 2013 at 8:26 AM

      This comment has been removed by the author.

      Delete
    2. Hire Robbie PetrinoDecember 23, 2013 at 8:28 AM

      How can you have a woman with such a fat, ugly face at the top of any list?

      Delete
  14. UnknownDecember 23, 2013 at 3:49 PM

    Interested in the upcoming Hyoyeon article

    Post as soon as possible pl0x!

    ReplyDelete
  15. GONEDecember 24, 2013 at 5:53 AM

    as the term 'ho it up" goes parody to Rihanna's "pour it up" if Seohyun doesn't want to do that then it's her choice.

    ReplyDelete
  16. nunaaaexoxoDecember 26, 2013 at 11:16 PM

    I can't imagine Seohyun trying to sex it up even slightly. Nothing about her is even cute to me. Especially not her face.

    sexiness ranking:
    Jessica
    Yuri
    Taeyeon
    Hyoyeon
    Sunny
    Sooyoung
    Yoona (right Bloom, Yoona has no ass)
    Tiffany
    Seohyun

    cutness ranking:
    TIffany
    Sunny
    Yoona
    Taeyeon
    Sooyoung
    Jessica
    Yuri
    Hyoyeon
    Seohyun

    I just get get with that mug. It's very hard on my eyes. Borderline fug. Sorry.

    ReplyDelete

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