The Shindong Theory

So recently, SM's resident hog was spotted on a date with some hot model. While I had no thoughts about it myself besides the good old 'wtf,' However, other people on the internet had their own input, for example:

"Shindong Oppar is dating!!!! NOOOOOOOOO YOU ONLY LOVE ME!!!" - Shindong's fridge

"YOU BOUGHT HER FOOD BUT WON'T FEED ME????" - Shindong's self-storage stomach

"SHINDONG OPPAR IS MINE 5EVER!" - Those five fat Super Junior fangirls

"Why does Shindong get to bone her?" - The other Super Junior members

"What happened to the girlfriend/fiancee? Damn liar, we feel bad for the girl" - Netizens everywhere

"He must form the fat into a 10-inch dong." - Chuck




With all the confusion, your friend Krakenoid decided to search for clues to find the reason as to why someone at the bottom of the chain (he's below dog shit) would aim so high when dating. The answer? Shindong isn't boning that girl!

"You must be crazy there Anna Krakenoid, of course they're dating!" Well, I heard from my friend who heard from her mom's third cousin's uncle's dad's grandfather twice removed that Shindong was screwing his girlfriend when he realized that he just didn't have the hots for her anymore, so he found some nugu bitch trainee at the SM building and screwed her backstage. However, he felt himself going limp while inside of her. Frustrated, he decided to talk to Leeteuk about the situation. As he talked, he realized that the other guy was only in his underwear and was giving Shindong a hungry look.You can guess what happened, and now Shindong has realized that he is a fucking faggot and Leeteuk is in the E.R. being treated for hip trauma.


With this realization, Shindong decided to make being fab his goal and befriended some hot females. The reporters stalking him happened to catch him when he was releasing hid inner female BFF on the model in question.

This reminds me of this incident.

SM saw that the damage was too real and decided to take matters into their own hands, bribing the model to say that she was dating Shindong in order to cushion the current evidence, and so that others don't catch on to the obvious. Stay tuned for updates as Shindong plummets further into the world of the gay. I will be waiting for the day Jo Kwon ends up in the hospital because he let Shindong be on top. The ham's five fangirls will also be bawling when they learn that their inspirational idol is totally queer. Until then, let's all offer our prayers to the model, an innocent bystander who was dragged into involvement by SM. Hopefully she thinks it is worth all the shame.