The Block B quantum-multiverse project

It's been called to my attention that my blogging has been noted by the Block B fan community, so here's a little story written by Kpopalypse especially with them in mind.  Although I could have written this about any group really, but I hope they enjoy it... or not.

You're a Block B fangirl living in Seoul, and you're 15 years old.  You're not one of those crazy fans, though... oh wait, yes you are.  You're actually completely crazy for them.  You don't feel crazy inside but you know you're kinda crazy because everyone keeps harping on about how obsessed you are with your idols, especially your favourites Block B!

Just the other day, your mother came into your bedroom to tell you something, you're not sure what it was because all you can remember about it was that she leaned on your life-size Block B poster, and it tore a little in the corner.  "Noooooo, my babies!" you cried, as your clumsy mother instantly flinched back - she's done this before and she knows how you get about the posters.  Luckily it was just a small tear in the corner, it could have been much worse - but you felt violated somehow.  Nobody has the right to touch your posters but you!  As you sobbed and carefully applied new adhesive to the poster corner, your mother walked out of the room muttering something about "they mean more to you than your own family"... which isn't true.  Well, it is but it isn't.  You'll always love your parents, there's no doubt about that, but there's also a special place in your heart reserved just for Block B, that nobody else can come close to; parents, friends, not even boyfriends.  You only ever had one boyfriend and when he came into your room and sat on your bed and was talking to you, you were staring at the picture of Block B's Jaehyo behind him on the wall and thinking "if only my boyfriend's jaw was a little squarer like Jaehyo's...".  He noticed your distant gaze and asked if you were okay.  You apologised and said "I'm just looking at Jaehyo, don't you think he's pretty?" He called you crazy and left.  Maybe he's right but you don't care.  He doesn't see you anymore, and you're fine with that - he didn't measure up anyway.

A fangirl's life is a busy life.  A typical day for you commences with getting up extra early and getting on the Internet so you can see what's happening for Block B that day.  The unofficial Block B forum that you follow has an anonymous person who claims to be "on the inside" and who posts detailed daily schedules of the group's activities every morning.  The person must be legitimate, because the schedules are never wrong, and many forum members who are just as keen as you rely on the information to keep close tabs on what the group are doing and stalk them massively.  You then swap messages with other fans and chat about all things Block B related, including how impossibly great their new music is, how dreamy all the guys are, and most importantly if there's any events happening close to your location where you can go and catch a glimpse of the guys.  Then it's off to school for the day, where you keep your mobile phone handy just in case there's some surprise activity from the group or the fandom that you need to know about, because you can't be too careful.  You'll willingly skip school for a chance to see your idols, if it's a good one where you can get really close to them.  (Block B did a short notice fan-meeting once in a park near your school and you missed it because you were at school and your phone was out of charge - you won't make that mistake twice!)  Once school is over it's back home in the evening and then checking out any Block B news or variety show appearances before bedtime... or if Block B are doing something near you, you'll go and stalk them, you've even caught sasaeng taxis a couple of times, but that's expensive so you only do it if it's really critical.  This has been the pattern of your life ever since you became a Block B fan two years ago, and you're happy with how things are progressing, because you've already gotten to see your idols a few dozen times.  You can tell from the looks some of them give you that they are actually starting to know your face!

Today you woke up feeling especially excited - it's the day that Block B come back from Japan!  They've been promoting over there recently for some unknown reason, you don't really know why groups spread themselves thin like that, you wish they'd just stay in Korea because then they're closer to you.  It's good that they're coming back, but you've heard they're going back to Japan again the very next night and the thought pains you - it's tough being a fangirl when your oppas are overseas.  You're still feeling positive today though - you live very close to the airport, and they're arriving late tonight so you'll definitely get to see them.

Your daily ritual begins with some checking of recent messages on your favourite Block B forum:

OMGUkwon: You don't know how much I'm spazzing right now!!  Like...OMG!  Block B are back!

Zicoismylife: Okay I can't help but fanboy over Block B, I just discovered them and I can't help not to fall in love with Zico and P.O. - by especially Zico!  Where have I been?

BlockBfan326: Wow, we're so lucky to have them back.  Everyone support them and vote on their music shows!

VeryGood81: My feels, I know they're only back for a day but I have to buy Block B stuff now to show my support - next time I hope they stay for longer but they go away again soon, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ;o;

POfap: I'm definitely going to be at the airport.  I can't wait - P.O. is so gorgeous, I hope he sees me this time!

BlockB4eva: IF I DON'T GET TO CATCH A GLIMPSE OF THEM IN THE FLESH I COULD DIE

Yoloswag420: The JAV industry pays more than the k-idol industry, that's why they're over there, they're cumdumpstering some Japanese whores.  There's a shortage of male JAV stars, so the companies gotta import the talent.

Herherher: How can I stop myself fangirling... my ovaries hurt!  They're going to do a fanmeet tomorrow as well - nothing could keep me away from that!

So much spazzing!  The mood among the fandom is definitely ecstatic.  You think about leaving a message saying that you're also going to meet Block B at the airport tonight, but you decide against it.  Maybe some of the others will forget about it if you say nothing, and less other fans there means that you'll stand out more and it'll be easier to push through the crowds.  You'll post about it tomorrow instead, and show off pictures, then everyone on the forum who missed out will realise that you're the biggest Block B fan, and that will make you happy.  You wonder for a moment if any Block B members actually check the forum, maybe if they do, they'll see it too!  Maybe you'll get a message from one of them - that would be amazing!  The thought warms your heart.

School hours are long and the day goes very slowly, it always does when you know you're going to see Block B that night somewhere.  It's hard to concentrate on your studies, especially during algebra because they always use the letter B and of course that just makes you think of Block B and then you drift off and forget what the teacher is saying.  Eventually the sun sets and it's time to go back home.  Your phone hasn't rung all day - on the bus home you pull out your mobile phone (with a shiny pink Block B case that you're very proud of) and check the Internet for the daily Block B schedule, just to make sure nothing has changed:

*** TODAY'S BLOCK B KOREAN SCHEDULE - GET READY TO SPAZZ ***
22:10 - arrival at Incheon International Airport, gate 45 - warning, will be crowded!
22:35 - arrival at dormitories
*** END ***

That's all it says - the Japanese portion of their schedules earlier that day before the flight isn't listed.  Usually there's a bigger list of Korean appointments, but it makes sense that they would just go straight to their dorms and get some sleep after a long flight.

There's no way that your mother would let you go out and see Block B at the airport, so after dinner you tell her that you're having an early night so you can get a big day of study in tomorrow, then you go to your bedroom, turn out the lights and climb out the window.   She won't check - once she opened the door suddenly and caught you with your skirt half down mid Jaehyo-fap (you tried to play it off like you were just getting undressed and your hand was stuck in the skirt zip but you're pretty sure she knew what was really going on), ever since then she's stopped coming into your bedroom at night time.  You head off down the street and begin the 30 minute walk to the airport.

The airport is a huge curved structure but you're familiar with it, having been here many times before, mainly chasing Block B around.  As you pass through security you notice that the terminal monitors say that Block B's flight has already landed.  You pick up the pace and run straight to the gate where Block B should be arriving at any minute.  As you get closer, you can see that the terminal is thick with fans and photographers... they're already here!

You push your way through the crowds, run straight up to the security cordon line and stop.  You know not to extend beyond the line - fangirls who do that get smacked down harshly by airport security, experience is a great teacher of that!  Instead you stay put and immediately start spazzing and jumping up and down on the spot:

"BLOCK B I LOVE YOU!  I LOVE YOU!  LOOK OVER HERE, NOTICE ME OPPAS!" you scream at the top of your lungs.

It works!  The entire group all stop and look at you at once.  Well, you think they're looking at you, most of them are wearing dark sunglasses.  You then notice P.O. get called off by an offsider, he walks over to the side and something is whispered in his ear:

A nod is exchanged, and then the man in the blue jacket reaches for something in P.O.'s black travel bag.  It's a small, shiny black object, you can't quite see what it is from that distance.  The man in blue then throws it at you - hard!  You try to catch it, but it all happens too quickly - the object glances across the side of your head, causing you to flinch in pain, and skates across the floor a few metres behind you amongst the crowds.  Damn, that really hurts!  Holding your left temple which you can feel is already starting to bruise, you quickly get on your knees and scurry across the floor to pick up the object before anyone else does... you've seen Block B in person many times now, but this is the first time Block B have given you a gift.  Finding the object, some kind of metal black square, you stash it in your bag quickly, you can examine it properly later.  You race back to the cordon line to see Block B and say thank you but it's too late... they've already made it to the other end of the arrivals lounge.  You wonder if it's a new tactic - create a distraction by throwing something interesting so the fans leave the idols alone giving them time to escape.  Oh well, you're happy to receive the gift, and you might just need to train your reflexes and bring a baseball glove to airports from now on.

That night, you arrive home, climbing back in through the bedroom window.  You sit on your bed and take the metal object out of your bag.  Now you can really inspect it properly!

It's a small metal folding hand mirror with the Block B logo, what a cute little gift!  You open up the metal hinges and take a look at yourself in the mirror's reflection.  Wow, that guy really got you a good one, you can see the tender swelling red bump on the side of your head very clearly using this.  The pain is making your head throb though and it's difficult to concentrate on anything so you put the mirror on your bedside bookcase for now and drift off to sleep.

-

The next morning, you wake up, sit up in bed and immediately look to your bedside bookcase.  The mirror is still there, what a relief!  Last night was so surreal that you weren't entirely sure if it actually happened, but the presence of the mirror reassures you that it did, as does the swelling on your head which has thankfully receeded slightly. You boot up your laptop and begin your morning ritual of checking messages on the Block B forum.  You decide to make a post:

I saw Block B last night at the airport, they were so dreamy!  They are all so hot, I could die!  P.O. also gave me a gift, a little fan mirror!

You take a selca with yourself and the mirror - and your bruise - and attach it to the post (because people don't believe anything these days), then you open up the mirror beside you on the bed and look at your reflection as you type.  Sure, it's only a cheap fan mirror but it's actually from Block B to you so it's imbued with specialness and magic.  You refresh the forum page, the replies have already come flooding in:

BlockBfan326: WOW, you're so lucky! What an incredible blessing! :D :D :D

IloveKyungggg: I saw you - did you get hit in the head?  What an honour to be physically touched by Block B!

VeryGood81: That's amazing, I'm spazzing so hard thinking about how spazzing you must be!  Please show it to me at school!  We can spazz togheterSGEOIGNDSJGHLEIHNLIW

Yoloswag420: You got hit in the head by oppa - sucked in, bitch.

POfap: It's not fair.  P.O. threw that mirror at ME, you dived in front of me and caught it first.  That mirror is rightfully mine.  -_-

What a liar that last responder is!  Feeling a sense of indignation building, you start to draft a reply when suddenly you're distracted by a stabbing pain in your leg.  You look over and notice a small card on your bed digging into your thigh.  You pick it up, it's a business card from a gift shop retailer... you have plenty of these, they often come with Block B merchandise.  It must have fallen out of the mirror when you opened it, you were certainly in a lot of pain last night so it's little wonder you didn't notice it.  You flip the card over... there's something written on the back...

You do as the card instructs - sure, it seems silly but well, why wouldn't you?  You don't know what a "quantum-multiverse project" is supposed to mean, but it's got something to do with Block B, so that means you're in!  You touch the mirror surface and hold your hand there, slowly counting for 30 seconds and waiting... but nothing happens.    Well, that was anticlimactic, and now you feel like an idiot... but maybe you're just "more connected" to Block B somehow.  Hmmm.  You go back to drafting your response to that lying fangirl who says she was supposed to have the mirror, but wait a second... she's not saying that at all.  In fact, all of the responses are now different:

BlockBfan326: That's nice that they gave you a gift!  I'm happy for you!  :D :D :D

IloveKyungggg: I saw you - did you get hit in the head?  I hope you sought prompt medical attention for that injury!  It still looks very bad on your selca!

VeryGood81: Next time I see you at school, I'd love to see the present.  It looks very nice, I've always thought about getting a mirror like that but I wondered if they were worth the money for what they are.  After all it's not like I would spend too much extra on a mirror just because it has a Block B logo on it so I hope the workmanship is good enough to justify the extra they're charging on that website.

Yoloswag420: You got hit in the head by oppa - sucked in, bitch.

POfap: P.O. threw that mirror in my direction, I thought it was going to hit ME right in the face!  I'm lucky that you dived over and deflected it, because it sure looks like it would have hurt!  You probably saved me a trip to the hospital, thank you so much!  Why did they throw it so dangerously though?  It's a solid metal object!  Do they have no regard for our safety?

That's odd.  Did they all edit their replies - or were you just not reading them correctly the first time?  Oh well, at least you don't need to send that reply anymore.  You delete your draft and check Block B's schedule for the day.

*** TODAY'S BLOCK B KOREAN SCHEDULE ***
10:00 - Weekly idol (pre-record session)
14:00 - Music Core (pre-record session)
18:00 - Fanclub meet and greet *** CANCELLED DUE TO LACK OF INTEREST ***
20:00 - Starry Night Live Radio
22:00 - Departure to Japan
*** END ***

There's usually a lot more detail than this "departure to Japan" - what gate?  Where's the address information that they always post for the other events?  It's a good thing that you already know where everything is through prior experience.  Also, why doesn't it say "get ready to spazz", that's like the schedule-poster's trademark!  And what's with "lack of interest"?  Surely not!  You make a reply:

Why was the fanclub meet cancelled?  "Lack of interest" seems like a lie.  We had heaps of people going!  Any why aren't there any details like there usually is?  At least give us addresses and gate information!

After a few minutes the replies come in:

IloveKyungggg: I don't know about others, but I decided against it.  I've already seen Kyung a bunch of times.  He seems like a nice guy as far as I can tell but I'm meeting my boyfriend around that time and well, you know... priorities.

Zicoismylife: Honestly last time I met them they were a little rude.  Mind you they're probably under a lot of stress and pressure, especially with the amount of schedules they have these days I can't blame them for showing it a little.  It's probably best for them to take a break from fan meetings until their activities calm down.  Really, the industry is to blame.  They're just kids like us when you think about it.

POfap: I'd like to meet P.O. again but let's not be selfish.  It's a tough job being an idol and we should give them some time out.

Yoloswag420: They won't meet any of you because they've already seen your faces and you're all ugly sluts.  They'll probably use that time to bang some trainees.

Herherher: They can meet us and be nice to us but it's not like we'll ever get to know them properly.  We don't know the reality of what they're really like, just the face that they have to show in public.  They can't really be themselves so it hardly seems worth it to meet them again and again if they can't reveal anything further, it just means more pointless busywork for them signing our things and pretending to be happy when they've had a long day of work.  I saw them once, that's enough for me to be happy that I got to meet some people who I admire.

The person who posts the daily schedule lists also weighs in with a reply:

BlockBSchedule: We don't publish sensitive info like exact locations and gate information out of respect for privacy of the members.  We never have done this.

Liars, that's definitely a change in policy from yesterday.  Taking a deep breath, you close your laptop.  What's with everybody, why have they all gone so... weird?  You just don't get it.  You look around your room and suddenly notice something even more disturbing - your posters are GONE.  All 76 of them (yes you kept track).  You swear you remember seeing them when you woke up only a few minutes ago... or did you?  What is this?

"MUUUUM! " you cry out.

You hear "Just a second, honey" from the other room.  A few seconds later, your mother opens the bedroom door and walks in.  "What is it, dear?".

"Where are all my posters?  What did you do with them?"

"What posters, dear?"

Your mother looks confused, but you're not having any of it.  "MY BLOCK B POSTERS!  THEY WERE ALL OVER THIS WALL!  WHAT DID YOU DO WITH THEM?".  You start to sob.

"But... you never had any posters up here.  What are you talking about?"

You're speechless and inconsolable. You try to say something but you can't.

Your mother continues - "I know that I once suggested that you might like to put some of your favourite k-pop groups up, but you said no because you didn't want to mark the walls, but... oh god honey, what is that lump on your head?"  Your mother suddenly notices and stares at the lump on the side of your head, very concerned.  "That's right on your temple, it looks very dangerous, I'm taking you straight to the doctor!"

Your mother leaves the room, to prepare to take you to the doctor's office.  You grab the mirror, put it in your bag, get dressed and make your way out the front door before she can do anything about it.  Your mother sees you leave the house and calls after you to come back, but you're so upset that you don't even register or react... you just start running.  After running a few streets, you take your phone out of your bag.  Time to dial a sasaeng taxi - only meeting Block B in person will be able to get you out of your slump.  You press the speed dial number that you've previously saved for your favourite sasaeng taxi company.

"Hello?"  A female voice answers.  You recognise it, but it's not the usual voice, it sounds... quite casual, not very call-centreish...

You take a deep breath and try to curtail your sobbing enough to speak.  "Hello, is this Block B Sasaeng Taxis?"

"Who?  What?" Wow, that voice is very familiar...

You repeat: "Block B Sasaeng Taxis?"

"Are you crazy?  What are you talking about?  Come back home!"  The penny drops.  You've dialed your mother.  But how?

You look at the phone... it's definitely your phone.  But where's your pink sparkly Block B case?  This is just a normal phone case.  But... it's your phone, you can tell by the scratches on the front which are in the same places as they've always been.  You go to your address book - all your phone numbers are there, as far as you can tell.  What's going on?  That's the last thought you have as you pass out in the middle of the street.

-

You wake up.  You're back in your bedroom, lying down on your bed.  Your mother is here.  There's also a man here, in a white coat.  He's obviously a doctor, he's wearing a stethoscope around his neck and he smiles briefly when your eyes meet his.  He's examining the lump on your head, which doesn't hurt that much... you do feel a general dizziness however.

"She's awake.  Might be some kind of brain damage." he remarks.

Your mother nods.  "She's certainly been acting differently.  I've never seen anything like this from her.  She's usually such a good kid"

"She's possibly still concussed.  The best thing for now is to rest it, we won't know the full extent of the damage until the concussion has passed.  Let her get some more sleep."

The doctor and your mother both give you concerned stares and leave the room.  You feel very dizzy and drift back off to sleep, noticing that there are still no posters on your wall.

-

You wake up.  From the lack of light in your bedroom (still sans posters), it's night time.  You must have slept all day!  Your head doesn't hurt that much anymore.  Your first thought - what's the time?  Block B might have left the country already without you even seeing them!  You boot up your laptop and check the time, there's only 20 minutes left until they leave!  Looks like you'll have to taxi it.

You quickly check the Block B forum to see if anything has changed:

*** TODAY'S BLOCK B KOREAN SCHEDULE ***
10:00 - Weekly idol (pre-record session)
14:00 - Music Core (pre-record session)
18:00 - Fanclub meet and greet *** CANCELLED DUE TO LACK OF INTEREST ***
20:00 - Starry Night Live Radio
22:00 - Departure to Japan
*** END ***

Still the same, that's a relief.  You look at some of the recent threads.  There's a post about their Music Core appearance.  Apparently Block B lost to EXO.  You read some replies:

OMGUkwon: Congratulations to EXO!

Zicoismylife: I really wanted my faves Block B to win but I'll admit that EXO tried hard, plus they had the better song.

BlockBfan326: Block B did a good effort but EXO performed better in the end.

POfap: It's tough to beat anything from SM Entertainment.  They've been in the idol game longer than the other labels, they're more entrenched.  Not that it really matters who wins these things, it's all just promotion.

BlockB4eva: Block B's new songs are the problem.  They really need a lift in songwriting quality, they don't have the catchy songs like Nalina and Nalili Mambo anymore.  Let's be honest, their new material is a mess.  If they had debuted with Jackpot nobody would have cared about them.

Yoloswag420: Block B just suck, admit it you losers.  That's why they're called Block B, not Block A.  Always coming second.

VeryGood81: I felt like Block B were just going through the motions, but it's not their fault - they're being pushed too hard.  You can't realistically expect someone to fly in at night after non-stop Japanese schedules with barely any rest and then take out #1 spots on music shows the next morning.

ZicZicZico: Congratulations to EXO for a clean win.  I'm glad that they only use judges with industry experience like professional singers and choreographers to determine the winners on TV idol shows.  They've been talking about bringing in fan voting and ranking-by-sales but I think everyone agrees that's a bad idea, including fans.  After all, fans appreciate that the people with the highest aptitude, best songs and best performances on the day should always win, regardless of how many people support them or any other factors.  There's no point to these things otherwise, if they're going to add elements to make it more of a popularity contest they might as well just make it a simple TV concert instead and get rid of the competitive aspect completely.  Which I wouldn't mind at all, actually - but if you're going to have a competition, do it right.

Wow, how conciliatory.  Where's the righteous indignation that your fandom usually demonstrates?  What's happened to the fandom?  It's like you don't even know these people anymore.  You know that Block B should have won Music Core... even though you haven't seen it yet, they're always flawless because they're your faves.  No time to think about that for now though, it's time to meet Block B at the airport!  You get organised, sneak out the window, run down the street and take out your phone (still with just a normal phone case) to dial the sasaeng taxi number - this time, not with the speed dial but through the address book.  You scroll through the list of contacts, but you can't find it anywhere - what happened to it?  No time to search, fortunately the street is busy and normal taxis are everywhere, so you wave one down.  It'll have to do.

You get in as fast as you can and throw some money into the front seat - more than enough to cover the fare.

"Incheon - quickly!"

The taxi driver complies and speeds off.  You find that normal taxis will drive nearly as fast as sasaeng drivers if you pay them enough, as long as the trip is short.

"You are in quite a hurry.  What is the rush?" asks the driver.

"Block B" you reply.

"What is a Block B?"

Sigh.  "They're an idol group.  I want to see Block B but don't have my sasaeng taxi number."

"Oh.  But what is a sasaeng taxi?"

How can a taxi driver of all people not know what a sasaeng taxi is?  Those guys are their main competition!  Oh well, whatever.  "Never mind.  Just be quick, please", you tell the driver.

Thankfully it isn't long before you reach the airport.  You get out of the taxi, and move through security to the gates as fast as possible.   But which gate are they at?  The forum didn't say.

You try and work out the most likely gate by departure times and destinations.  The airport is strangely quiet as you run up and across the huge walkways.  Eventually you find them, just as they are boarding.

It's weird.  There's no cordon line to keep fans back apart from the standard one that all boarding flights use to form a queue for boarding pass checking.  There's a couple of photographers here, but no screaming fans at all, the boarding is peaceful and quiet with the group casually chatting to both each other and airline staff as they present boarding passes.  Oh well, that just means that if you scream they'll definitely hear you!

"BLOCK B I LOVE YOU!  NOTICE ME, OPPAS!"

They sure do - all members of the group instantly flinch back.  Not only Block B but everyone else in the immediate vicinity all turn to look at you.  You take the mirror out of your bag.

"I got your gift, P.O.!  What does it do?"  You hold the mirror up to P.O.

P.O. looks at the mirror, confused.  "It's... a mirror?"

Zico starts laughing.  Under his breath you can hear him chuckle to the other members "Jesus Christ... what a dumb bitch.  Do people like this even exist?"  Some of the rest of the group start smiling.

"But what about the... " you struggle to find the words "...quantic-thingy?  Isn't it meant to do something?"

P.O. shrugs.  "It's a mirror.  You can see yourself in it.  Try it sometime.  Now if you'll excuse us, we've got a plane to catch."

The members of Block B shuffle off through the boarding gate.  You watch them leave and then look at the mirror.  You can see your face, with a bruise on one side gradually getting better, and you can also see someone coming up behind you.  It's your mother.  Suddenly you feel someone grabbing you.  "I can't believe what's gotten into you today, you're acting like a crazy person", she exclaims as she frog-marches you out of the airport with the help of airport security.  The humiliation is unbearable.

-

It's been a while since you entered your new home, it hasn't been easy to adjust.  There's not much in the way of school or learning here, and you don't have to make any meals or do any chores, but there's also no Internet and only strictly regulated contact with the outside world so it's extremely lonely.  Doctors visit often, and your mother visits every day at the same time, she cries often and tries to explain to you how you can come home as soon as you change back... but back to what?  You don't understand - you swear it's everything else which has changed, while you and your love of Block B has remained constant.

It's funny because there are two shower blocks in the ward, also called A and B.  Sometimes you go into shower "block B", press your hand against the full-sized mirror and wait for 30 seconds.  And again.  And again.