Kpopalypse Fashion Class - polka dots

Hi there, cao ni mas!  Since Seoul Fashion Week is coming up soon, Kpopalypse is back with another episode of the much-loved Kpopalypse Fashion Class, and this time we're delving into the fascinating world of polka dots!  This post contains all the trufax you need to know on how to use polka dots to enhance female boobs and look hot, or to make someone else look hot, with lots of k-pop girls as examples!  Grab yourself a drink and let's get started!

Some history: polka dots were invented as a clothing pattern at the same time and place as the Polka dance, in 19th century Eastern Europe.  However the fashion and the dance aren't directly related, they just happened to become popular at the same time.  Okay, that's the historic portion of this post over, let's now move on to important things like TITS.

Polka dots, much like horizontal stripes, are know to possess form-enhancing properties.  However, there are some rules.  Let's look at some examples so we can better determine the correct utilisation of polka dots.

Firstly, it should be noted that dots that are just randomly placed on a garment will not have the desired effect.  You can't just whack a dot anywhere and hope for the best, as Eunjung's costume designer seems to have done above.

This picture of IU is another demonstration of incorrect pattern use.  The irregular pattern is confusing to the eye and therefore provides no boob enhancement.  Note that the polka dot pattern is very specific.  Dot patterns should conform to the following specific diagonal grid-based pattern for maximum fap effect:

The specificity of the pattern may seem odd but the regularity provides a helpful way to discern form.  The proof is in the results - here is the correct polka dot pattern this time applied to Eunjung.

The resulting application of polka dots gives a nice contouring effect to Eunjung's upper body and allows for greater depth perception.

I don't know who the fuck this girl is because I don't watch k-dramas, she looks a bit like Bom on drugs (i.e she looks a bit like Bom) but her clothing is a good demonstration of another important facet of polka dot styling which is that the dots have to be close together.  Large spaces between the dots in the pattern reduce the contouring effect and won't give the desired enhancement.

The pattern isn't the only factor to consider, there is also a maximum allowable dot size limit.

For the purposes of optimising clothing for boob enhancement smaller dots are better.  Krystal's polka dots here are slightly above the ideal size limit for any enhancement effect to occur.

Ex-groupmate and partner in crime Sulli has the right idea, and her form actually comes off looking a bit more curvy thanks to correct polka dot size even though in reality Krystal is bustier.  The slightly irregular pattern is a downside but it's not as irregular as IU's pattern earlier and the spacing is still consistent enough with small enough dots to give the right effect.  This isn't pseudoscience or Kpopalypse just making up this shit for fun, this is a known phenomenon called the Ebbinghaus illusion and can be observed thusly:

Both orange dots in the above picture are in fact the same size but the orange dot on the left seems smaller at first glance because it's surrounded by other bigger dots.  Likewise, bigger dots on fabric will make any other nearby features like the curves underneath the fabric seem smaller, whereas smaller dots will make these features increase in apparent volume.  Imagine that the grey dots are the dots on a dress and the orange dot is the boob you're trying to enhance.  The Ebbinghaus illusion is a known truth of graphic and clothing design.  In k-pop, costume designers even exploit this illusion to even out discrepancies.

Soyeon on the left isn't as busty as Jiyeon or Hyomin behind her, but the relatively smaller dot pattern on her clothing helps her maximise apparent volume perception.

Colour is also important.  Sunny's dress colours here aren't optimal for boob enhancement, mind you Sunny is quite busty anyway so she needs little help in this area.  The best options, in order from most effective to least, are:

• Dark dots on a white background
• White dots on a dark background
• Any two colours on opposite ends of the colour wheel (complementary colours)
• Anything else

 

Tiffany manages to compete with Sunny's volume quite easily just by using the most ideal dot colour combination (black on white), even though Tiffany is definitely not as top-heavy.

Different colour combinations can work well as Soyeon demonstrates, the key is high contrast between the dots and their background.

Sulli looks great here but as far as her boobs are concerned she may as well not have wasted her time with white-on-white polka dots.

The last and probably most obvious thing to consider is that clothes need to be form-fitting around the area that you want to enhance.

Qri looks great here and even busty but it's actually the frills that are providing the busty effect (frills may be covered in a future edition of Kpopalypse Fashion Class).  The actual dots aren't providing any apparent volume increase to her boobs in this circumstance.

Sunny Hill demonstrate the effect of clothes where the dots follow form closely, as well as the relative bustiness produced by differently sized dots of the same colour.  Strange as it may seem, a plunging neckline of polkadots actually reduces apparent boob size, because the neckline appears bigger than the boobs it's inviting you to look at - the Ebbinghaus illusion in effect once again.

Notoriously well-endowed Hyosung from Secret is wearing polka dots here but doesn't noticeably out-bust the other members of her group here because what she's wearing just isn't that form-fitting.  The other members also have thicker layers of clothing to make up the shortfall.  Yes k-pop stylists think of this shit, you can bet that the first thing they do when planning an MV shoot is have a discussion where they say "okay, how are we going to make this work so Hyosung's tits looks great but so do the others".  The stylist here aimed for "equal bustiness".

JYP doesn't give a crap about "equal bustiness" though, he gave the members of miss A all the same clothes here.  I guess it figures that he didn't really put much thought into it as he's an ass man.



Here's an iconic T-ara performance which reverses the miss A look, with polka dotted jackets and plain colours underneath.  The effect is broad-shouldered as a result of the dots sitting on their shoulders, and the less booby girls have been given lots of extra layers and accessories underneath so they can keep up with the more plainly-styled Hyomin and Jiyeon.  Look closely and you can see that the polka dots here are in fact stars - a "polka dot like" object will suffice if it's symmetrical and utilised in the same proportion and pattern as polka dots.



The final example is Orange Caramel.  The boob size scale of Orange Caramel is Raina > Lizzy > Nana, therefore Nana gets the dots snugly fitted on her boobs to boost them, Lizzy gets no dots, and Raina gets dots on her accessories instead to reduce her boob size.  Orange Caramel's stylists use the power of polka dots to either enhance or distract, and achieve apparent "equal bustiness" easily.

Anyway, that's it for another Kpopalypse Fashion Class!  Hopefully you learned something along the way, or if not, maybe you fapped to cute k-pop girls!