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Monday, November 2, 2015

SM to Hold Global Auditions - Will You be the Next Hallyu Star?


Do you have what it takes?!



Here's my criteria to help delusional fans realize that they have little to no shot at being cast through SM's Global Auditions.

Are you North East Asian (Korean, Japanese, Chinese, or Taiwanese)?

Are you South East Asian with a light complexion?

If you are East Asian with dark skin, are you willing to bleach your skin?

If you have nasty teeth (i.e., Japanese), are you willing to fix your teeth? (Okay, other Asians have terrible teeth, too. I had to get two molars removed and have some of my teeth realigned before I got braces when I was 12.)

Are you willing to get double eyelid surgery, a nose job, and/or a jaw shave?

Do you even know Korean or a similar language?

tl;dr: If you're not Korean, Japanese, Chinese or Taiwanese, don't bother. You're not going to be the first white person to debut in an idol group.


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15 comments:

  1. NoNovember 2, 2015 at 4:20 AM

    Do you know Coconuts Musume?
    What a horrible experience watching that trainwreck was.


    Also, I wouldn't mind cute and hot western girls with my K-idols, but they really have to fit. E.g. no Kardashian-tier shit.

    ReplyDelete
  2. UnknownNovember 2, 2015 at 7:22 AM

    what if you look a little asian, or are mixed and look kinda korean, would you have a chance? I'm asking for a friend.....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. UnknownNovember 2, 2015 at 11:05 AM

      You're asking for yourself lmao

      You don't stand a chance. You sound like one of those deperate non-asian bitches trying hard to look asian

      You will literally get your guts ripped when people find out you are not PURE Asian (Korean)

      Delete
    2. ElienoreNovember 2, 2015 at 11:08 AM

      Is this a super case of *whoosh* or what? O,o

      Delete
    3. UnknownNovember 2, 2015 at 3:46 PM

      Lol this loser isn't asking for a friend lmao what a dumb bitch, give up your dreams you'll never be part of the east asian master race (korean)

      Delete
    4. UnknownNovember 2, 2015 at 3:47 PM

      Lol this loser isn't asking for a friend lmao what a dumb bitch, give up your dreams you'll never be part of the east asian master race (korean)

      Delete
  3. arimasenNovember 2, 2015 at 10:22 AM

    I'm white as paper, so I accept there's no chance for me from the beginning.

    ReplyDelete
  4. ElienoreNovember 2, 2015 at 11:11 AM

    HAH, joke's on all of you.
    I'm intentionally refraining from entering anything like this because my awesomeness would wreck the entire kpop business as we know it.

    I should run it as an extortion racket on agencies, it would be a nice decent side-income.

    ReplyDelete
  5. GONENovember 2, 2015 at 1:47 PM

    The only way I'd ever.consider auditioning for SM seriously is if they had an American company.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Sunmi's Anal BeadNovember 2, 2015 at 6:48 PM

    But.. But this is my chance to get close to Seobot noonar. I'll do anything to pass the audition.

    ReplyDelete
  7. UnknownNovember 2, 2015 at 10:04 PM

    How I would respond to the Korean Public /watch?v=p69XxYjfx-k

    ReplyDelete
  8. 364LeinadNovember 5, 2015 at 11:05 PM

    Well if they let people like Sehun and Eunhyuk in then anyone's got a chance

    ReplyDelete
  9. UnknownNovember 7, 2015 at 10:15 PM

    I'm a light skinned half Chinese half white girl, do I have a chance?

    ReplyDelete
  10. Ja DNovember 11, 2015 at 4:11 AM

    RIP Chocolat.

    ReplyDelete

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