POSITIVE post - Shannon Williams

I was actually going to write something different today but I quickly had to stop and catch my breath to praise the new hero of our time Shannon Williams.

How many reasons can I find to love Shannon Williams?  Let me count the ways!

SHANNON BROUGHT US "WHY WHY"

Listen to this great song.




It's like Twice's "Like Ooh-Ahh" if someone actually went through and carefully fixed all the production problems like the overbearing vocals and general screechiness of it all, and then tuned the song's melody and backings up a bit to make them way more awesome.  Except that "Why Why" actually came out BEFORE "Like Ooh-Ahh", which also means that JYP is a dirty plagiarising whore.  Say what you want about MBK but they are always with the great songs.  Well okay, Shannon also had "Daybreak Rain" which was a fucking shit song but that doesn't fit in with my narrative for this post so let's just do a Netizenbuzz and ignore what doesn't fit into my preconceived worldview and move on.

SHANNON IS PRETTY

You, whoever you are reading this right now, are not this pretty.  Shannon seems like a nice girl.  Would go for an ice-cream with.

SHANNON LOVES RETARDS

Here's a v-app video of Shannon and friends which is apparently causing some controversy for the Internet's vast population of stupids.



Shannon could have guessed that Dani's sheep noise at 39:20 was her imitating a spasticated retarded drooling shambling fuck but instead she said "special needs" which is the modern politically correct way to refer to someone with a severe mental disability.  The rules on this keep changing all the time.  "Spastic" is actually correct terminology (and is still in official use where I live), as is "retarded" (also still in official use) and now "special needs" is the latest official rubber-stamped correct jargon but every time someone uses these words in a negative context, dumb people get all offended and say "you can't use that word", instead of saying what they really should be saying which is "don't use that word to insult people".  So as a result, people get offended by the WORD instead of getting offended by the CONTEXT, and in response the people who look after spastics keep inventing new nice friendly terms to try and fix the problem ("disabled", "handicapped", etc etc), but as soon as people start using each new term in an insulting context (i.e a week later) then those people decide "oh wait we can't use that word now, we need another word" which doesn't change a damn thing.  It's obviously the context that's the issue, not the word itself.  You can make any word you want an insult against retarded people just by using it in an insulting way.  So what's Shannon's context?  Shannon wasn't insulting anyone - Dani just made a spasticated retarded fucking bitch noise so Shannon quite reasonably guessed maybe that was what she was emulating, and said so in the politest way possible in 2016, out of thoughtfulness to not offend.

SHANNON IS PRETTY

Even when she's dressed in her grandmother's knitwear and making a silly scrunched-up face Shannon is still way more attractive than you.  This should be acknowledged.

SHANNON LOVES GAYS

In the same video Shannon says "that's so gay" (at about 11:50) when someone does a heart sign.  That's because being gay is all about love and Shannon loves gays so it's natural that she would associate such a loving gesture as a heart sign with her fondness for gays.  It's also a promising indicator that she could soon replace Seth Putnam as the new singer and lyricist for grindcore group and trolling pioneers Anal Cunt, which nets her huge amounts of Kpopalypse points.  Anal Cunt's next single - "Heart Signs Are Gay".

SHANNON IS PRETTY

You will never be this attractive, and there's nothing you can do about it.  Unless you're my girlfriend, but I doubt she would have the patience to even scroll down this far in one of my bullshit k-pop posts so she's probably not reading.  My girlfriend > Shannon Williams >>>>>>>>>>> || >>>>>>>>>> rest of humanity.  Deal with it.

SHANNON LOVES BLACK PEOPLE

Shannon loves black culture so she listens to black music, just like all of us.  In the video mentioned above she sings along to a Beyonce song which shows that she has terrible music taste and it's just as well that other people write her songs for her.  I can't hate on a girl for liking shit music though or I'd have to hate 99% of girls ever.  Anyway at 7:30 she sings "mix that negro with that creole", because... well, that's what's in Beyonce's version.  What is she supposed to do - not sing that bit?  It's not like she just joined the KKK (although that would be awesome just for the reaction and I hope someone in k-pop does - I'm tipping SNSD's Seohyun, just because), she's just innocently singing a song and it's your racial prejudices which are turning it into a bad thing, not hers.  Even veteran black hip-hoppers who grew up in more racially-charged times believe that it's ludicrous to ask fans of other races to not sing along to their songs just because of the language in them and that context is important.  Just as well Shannon's music taste is shit and she wasn't singing along to something decent like NWA, can you imagine?

Oh and omonatheydidnt in a glorious bit of confirmation-bias fuelled editorialisation says that in the same video she is "extremely bossy and over the top" and "keeps putting on a fake offensive accent thought to be cool" - yeah she's talking like a Kardashian in some parts of the video.  That's YOUR fault Americans, for spreading that particular cancer.  Now you've got the whole rest of the world's teenage girls emulating her and doing that crap.  Thanks, cunts.

SHANNON IS PRETTY

Here's another picture of Shannon Williams being more attractive than you, which isn't hard to achieve, you ugly gay special needs fuck.

SHANNON IS MAKING PEOPLE ACTUALLY STAN DANI

Wow something positive written about poor Kim Dani for once, a lovely girl who has been there and done that when it comes to being cyberbullied by the Internet's worthless trashbags.  Shannon, know you can count on Dani for support, she has valuable experience in the area of ignoring oxygen-wasting netizen scum and can probably teach you a lot!

SHANNON IS PRETTY

Here's Shannon dancing and singing.  Isn't she pretty?  Yes, this appears to be an objective fact.

SHANNON DOESN'T WANT TO DATE THOSE FUGLY GUYS IN K-POP BOY GROUP SEVENTEEN

Vernon is "just a friend" and DK is "ew, gross" (at about 51:00).  Talk about keeping it real.  Shannon the realest.  I wouldn't bang any of these dudes either, even if I was a heart-sign-making gay guy who would bang guys generally.  Most k-pop artists struggle to be this honest, lest their handlers scream blue murder and cancel their schedules.

SHANNON IS PRETTY

Just another image of Shannon being pretty while you are ugly, nothing unusual at all, feel free to keep scrolling down.

SHANNON SPOILERS THE NEW BATMAN VS SUPERMAN MOVIE

I can't find it in the video but apparently Shannon drops a spoiler in there somewhere about the crap new Batman vs Superman film, and good because superhero films suck and are for man-children who believe in the MRA movement and have a mental age of 6, so she just saved a bunch of people money that they could have wasted seeing that bullshit.

SHANNON IS PRETTY

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Shannon is more
Attractive than you

SHANNON DIDN'T APOLOGISE

This is important.  Good work Shannon.  We both know that you are in the right.  I'm sure that entitled spoiled-brat my-emotional-needs-first everything-is-my-business international k-pop fans will keep cyberbullying you and sending death threats until they finally force MBK to make you do an ISIS-style apology video, but for now, fuck 'em.  Hopefully MBK is culturally unaware enough to even notice that people are pissed off and you can just keep on being you, that'd be cool.

UPDATE: she did actually apologise, and in super-quick time, too.  Oh well, it was fun watching entitled morons bitch and moan about her while it lasted.

SHANNON IS PRETTY

Shannon is not only pretty but here is showing correct horizontal stripes usage and even pulls off duckface without looking disgusting which as far as I'm concerned is like some kind of magic trick.

Oh and hey Shannon your English skills are pretty fucking good, plus you reckon you have a "dry sense of humour" so I think that you and this blog would be a perfect match.  How would you like to do an interview?  I'll expect your response fondly!