ESCAPE FROM SM ISLAND: How He Do It??

For years, we've all assumed that crossing the SM Entertainment gang was almost practically a career death knell. Almost NO ONE left SM and lived to tell the tale. H.O.T. left SM in 2001 due to a contract dispute and where are they now? Donezo, forced to disband since then. JYJ (aka Jaejoong/Chuck, Yoochun, and Junsu) left in 2009 due to a contract dispute, blacklisted ever since. Hangeng left Super Junior in 2009, hasn't done shit since. Jessica left SNSD in 2014, and while she's pretty much her own woman now with BLANC & ECLARE, she may or may not be blacklisted from performing on the major music shows. 

So how is it that Kris Wu managed to escape in 2014 and reach even greater heights than he did with EXO? 

NOTE: Luhan definitely managed to escape too but since he's mostly big in China only (but he's HUGE in China, don't get me wrong), he only gets this small honorable mention.

Kris Wu poses with American smuggler after successful escape from
SM Island, 2014. Colorized.

KRIS'S DICK SPOTTED

I AIN'T EVEN GOTTA WRITE SHIT

MNet is blurring out Kris' Face

You won't BELIEVE who it is!

On a recent episode of MNet's Exo File fans were quick to notice in one segment that Kris' face was blurred out. No doubt to shield citizens from that hideous visage and totally not because of recent legal troubles and because since his legal contract with SM blah blah blah. This isn't the first time something like this has happened, during Daniel of Dalmatian's drug scandal he was also shown blurred out in TV segments.

Moments later.

A lot of fans are taking it personally however. I can't blame them, MNet/the rest of the world is out to get them.

EXO bullied Kris out of the group: the ironclad evidence*

Like everybody else who follows k-pop, I've been reading about Kris leaving EXO, after all it's been pretty fucking impossible to avoid.  In fact it's even interrupted my blogging schedule - I had a completely different blog about 80% completed and then this fucking shit turned up and crashed the blogging party, demanding that I write about it, simply because I know people will not stop asking me about this stuff if I don't write about it.

While I honestly have no major emotions about EXO in any particular direction (other than at least "Overdose" is better than "Growl"), it's been vaguely interesting to watch the reaction to their line-up situation in Korea.   Many people are calling Kris lazy and sticking up for the rest of the group... but a thought occurred to me: if it were a female group, this would never happen.  Whether it's T-ara, Girl's Day, 5Dolls, miss A, Sistar, Jennie Kim, SNSD, Crayon Pop... it doesn't matter which group it is, when a member is having trouble, that member is an angel and the rest must therefore be evil bullies.  Because anonymous people on the Internet said so.

I thought it would be interesting (to me, maybe not to you or anyone else but oh well) to turn the tables.  How would the EXO/Kris situation be received by the hive-mind if they were judged by the same standards that netizens use to judge female groups?  Read on in the following hypothetical scenario (I have to bold this part or some dumb motherfuckers won't understand the point of this blog) and find out.

KrisGate Rocks EXO Fandom

EXO's Kris has decided to file a lawsuit to end his contract with SM Entertainment, pulling a Hangeng and getting the hell outta Korea. Of course, AKF's investigative team has the scoop for you.