Showing posts with label don't you dare put "tl;dr" because i damn near gave my hand a cramp from typing this. Show all posts
Showing posts with label don't you dare put "tl;dr" because i damn near gave my hand a cramp from typing this. Show all posts

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

The Difference Between Fangirls: Dissection of the Horde.

This is friglet. I'm a new author for the blog and i'm about to write a fucking essay as is custom to pop my AKFG cherry. Shall we get to know each other a bit before we start courting? Alright then.

First off, this is to the bitchy fangirls that come to this blog. Out of all our authors i'm probably the closest to being your best friend. Why? Well, I had a very dark past...

I was once...once...an obsessive DBSK cassie! Yes, FOR SHAME. But, I was 14 back then and most 14 year old kpop fans are retarded as well. To the fans of this blog, i'm like an ex-convict. I've been to the dark side and now i'm back. But I did my time so please don't judge ;).

Now, to the fangirls, I've been in the fandom system, I know it well. If you read my posts on articles there are times when I actually defend an artist. So yeah, i'm not all 'MUAHAHAHA" evil. And now, for those fangirls that bitch and moan that we're blindly hating on you guys, I have come to help. Why help you? I don't know, maybe so you'll understand that us authors here KNOW what the fuck we're talking about. Now, for the fanboys, i'm about to break down the giant group that is "fangirls" so that you'll know and so fangirls know which sections we're hatin' on.


1.) N00bs - these fangirls have just found out about kpop and have started posting on kpop sites. You can spot them out by their lack of knowledge and stupid remarks/comebacks. They only know about a small group of kpop artists and think their favorite group was formed by God himself to bless our virgin ears with the best music in the universe. So they're quick to defend. HOWEVER, they're so new that they don't completely understand fan-wars and shit like that. So their comebacks are the weakest and will consist of basic name calling.


2.) Delusional fanatics - now, this group is the worst. They're the fans that have known kpop for about a year or so. They know other kpop groups, but they still think their group is the shit. These are the fangirls that we at AKFG hate on the most. These fans have done back research on their group by now and they're the ones that bump up their comeback attacks by posting stupid youtube videos trying to prove how oh-so-awesome their kpop boyband/girlgroup is. But alas! These girls are also the ones other fangirls want least to associate themselves with! Now, we'll deal with these crazies on the forums, but alot of fans try to pull the "i don't know that trick!" card behind their backs on multi-fandom sites (i.e. allkpop, soompi, omona, whatevs). Why? They're fucking embarrassing.


3.) Mellow fans - this is the group i'm in. These fangirls have been in kpop for years (3 and up). They have exhausted themselves out of the first two catagories. Mellow fans are the fans that like their group, but are still sane enough to call them out when their songs suck or their outfits are hideous. They don't start arguments because they've now been able to balance kpop with normal life and now see how pointless arguments over fandoms are. We know how to support our groups without obsessing because it's creepy to know everything about another person besides yourself. They can laugh at themselves and take a joke at their artists without busting an ovary. But don't think that we're boring as fuck! If you throw the occasional epic picture of our idols in our face, we'll be all over that shit. But it doesn't last. We know when to regain our composure. Let's just say we fangirl over stuff just enough to still blend in with the fandom and not be outcasted.


4.) Elitists - this is the final group. They are the girls that n00bs and delusionals look up to and the ones mellow fans roll our eyes at. This group never became exhausted from being delusional, but they did grow in age. Girls in this group are usually in their mid to older twenties and look down on all other fangirls. They have obsessed and squealed for years over their kpop group and now keep this facade of being calm whenever their artist drops a new album or photo, but it's just that they've fangirled so much that they're used to the basic pattern artists go through and have become a bit numb to the effect. This group deserves more hate because they think they own their fandom. They believe that without them, the fandom would totally have a hole. They're on a whole nother level of delusion than your basic stupid fangirl.


So there. I broke it down for you. Here on the blog, when we say we hate fangirls, really we're mostly talking about all groups above except the mellows. Now stop bitching.