Teaser Galore - T-ara N4, Hello Venus, Secret, Po Minute, Lee Hyori

While I generally don't write articles about teasers (since teasers are usually lies and get our hopes up for nothing), there are a lot of teasers showcasing some comebacks I'm interested in seeing.

There will be two scales for these teasers. The first one will be the standard 1-5 scale. This scale will rate how much I'm looking forward to listening to the song. The second scale is the flaccidity scale. The scale will be: renob, flaccid, semi-erection, rock-hard erection. Why? Well, because these are all girl group/solo artist comebacks, my penis will assess whether or not the comeback is worth looking forward to alongside my ears.

Teasers after the jump.

T-ara N4



This is just one of many teasers to come from T-ara N4. I have no idea what to expect from T-ara N4 because after Bo Peep Bo Peep, they have been a one-trick pony recycling the same song composed by Shinsadong Tiger. With Duble Sidekick at the helm and a different MV director (which I'm sure everyone is the happiest about), this could either be good or bad.

Song Anticipation: 4
Flaccidity Scale: Semi-Erection

I rated my anticipation a 4 mainly because it's about time T-ara does something different. We'll see whether it's actually good or not when the song comes out. On the flaccidity scale, I rated it a semi-erection. The hottest members are in the subunit...and then there's Areum. At least she doesn't completely look like ass in the teaser.

Hello Venus



Hello Venus is making another comeback while After School sits at home collecting money off of UEE's activities. It's hard to gauge someone's excitement for Hello Venus. Venus was a good idol song and they have quickly fallen from there. They do need a good song to solidify themselves.

Song Anticipation: 2
Flaccidity Scale: Rock-Hard Erection

I'm not really anticipating the song because HV's latest tracks hasn't lived up to expectations. They are stuck doing the same type of song, and this is already their fourth promotional track with a similar sound. On the other hand, the members look great, so the MV should be worth watching, even if I eventually have to mute the MV. Plus, Ara doesn't look as Frankenstein-ish here.

Secret



Secret is making a comeback and that's always a good thing in my books. However, this seems like a retread of what they did in 2011, so my excitement is down a bit.

Song Anticipation: 2.5
Flaccidity Scale: Rock-Hard Erection

Like I just stated, the teaser makes it seem like Secret is going to retread old ground. Shy Boy and Starlight Moonlight are my two least favorite Secret songs. However, Hyosung, Jieun and Sunhwa are hot as usual, so there's that to look forward to.

4minute



First, is anyone surprised that 4minute hasn't disbanded yet?

Song Anticipation: 1.5
Flaccidity Scale: Flaccid

Wow, maybe this is just a bad teaser, but there's nothing that makes me want to listen to the song or watch the MV. The song sounds recycled from their old singles, but worse. The fashion just sucks ass. This will most likely be a pass for me.

Lee Hyori



Song Anticipation: 0
Flaccidity Scale: Rock-Hard Erection

After H-Logic, I haven't really given a shit about Hyori. Half of that album was plagiarized and Shitty Shitty Gang Bang was awful. However, she's still hot, so I can at least watch the MV on mute.