The Man Does Not Want You to Fap to Jailbait

Let's be real folks.

KPop is one of the finest collections of publicly-available and socially-acceptable-to-admire jailbaits on the internet. Legends such as Suzy, Krystal, IU, Dani (lol) and Tia all put their carefully sculpted bodies (okay, maybe not fat IU or fat Suzy) on display for the oppas. You watched their fancams together, You downloaded their hi-res pics together, and though you may ashamed to admit it, you fapped to them together. All was good in the world.

Until today.

GP Basic to come back with "Jelly Pop"

They were actually planning on coming back? Game wasn't just a one-time "oh-let's-go-troll-the-fuck-out-of-everybody" thing? As if Game didn't fail badly enough, the girls of GP Basic are back to gather more antis, hate mail, and pedophilic 40 year old men that ogle their 8 year old undeveloped asses through a computer screen at night. And here I was thinking that they, y'know, maybe went back into training so they could develop (physically as well as mentally.) for another eight years. You know they're too young when the average age of the group is 15. (Their maknae, Janey[12], apparently was even barred from appearing on music shows.) Or better yet, they left the music biz (as their leader Hannah did) because clearly none of them have enough talent to be a singer.

Game was pretty much autotune central; anybody else reminiscing about Rebecca Black's Friday? Really the only part that was left alone was Janey's shrieking, which was unfortunate because it definitely could have used quite a lot of autotune. Never thought I'd say it, but damn. Her voice pretty much beats out 2NE1's "No 1 Baddest Female (Rapper)" CL's and 4minute's HyunA's for "Most Annoying Female Rapper Voice." Pretty intense considering all HyunA does for rapping is squeal in varying tones.

Back to the actual teaser for Jelly Pop, I'm not anticipating much different from their debut song. "Tell me whatcha whatcha wanna" is definitely not going to fly. For a group that has so much that they need to prove, I don't think it should be too much to ask that they get a fucking editor of sorts that can actually speak English and fix up their lyrics. And for crying out loud, if that is in fact too much to ask, the least they could do is find some aspect of the song that doesn't have some major flaw in it to feature in their teaser (if such aspect is available). After some research I did find this - a fancam of their live performance of Jelly Pop at Osaka, Japan. The audio quality sucks so I can't make out the words, but the autotune is still quite apparent. Figures.

Their company has also decided to create another group called GP Senior that was scheduled to debut in the first half of 2011. I guess one fail group wasn't sufficient enough.

As a side note, I am one of the new writers on AKF and this was my "debut article" of sorts. Hopefully it didn't suck too much shit, and I'll work hard to improve and live up to expectations. Peace.