Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Ailee's Titties Not Fooling Any Netizens

I feel like I've written about this subject many many times now, but it never fails to boggle my mind how inconsistent netizens of all stripes and colors can be about boobies. They're wonderful. They contain the magical power to hypnotize men (and other women if they're so inclined) and infuriate women (and prudish men), but it seems these days either people are getting more adept at seeing through the illusions woven by a good push-up bra or the women wearing said bras are going too HAM with the antigravity.

This edition? Ailee.

Why don't we look at the... goods in question.


It's very clear to me that poor Ailee's girls are screaming from suffocation (cause let's be real, boobies don't sit up at attention like that unless they're fake or held up like Simba to the African Savannah), but damn does she look good.

If I can see it, so can most other people, so the general reaction came as no surprise to me.
1. [+222, -28] The breasts need to look like they have some gravity to them to be natural and pretty but they're pushed up way too far that it actually looks gross. They could touch her chin at this rate.

2. [+136, -10] Hye Soo nuna is still the jjang!ㅋㅋ

3. [+101, -16] It's too obvious she's copying Beyonce...

4. [+19, -8] Too pushed up ㅠ She's pretty without having to go this far

5. [+14, -0] Any big breasted celebrity always media plays about being the 'second Kim Hye Soo' but they could never live up to what she represents. She has a distinctive aura to her with a luxurious image, her big chest is just an extra. Don't stick any name next to Kim Hye Soo. 

6. [+14, -2] Pressuring to look at

7. [+13, -2] Huk, she never had this kind of image before

8. [+8, -2] Sigh...

9. [+8, -2] Journalist, don't touch Kim Hye Soo and make Ailee get all the hate..

10. [+8, -0] I'll show you, a completely transformed me~~

11. [+8, -6] Is Ailee mixed race? She's really got some superior size going on..
The more netizen reaction articles I see about boobies, the better grasp I'm starting to get on the Korean ideal rack. Some general rules:

  1. If it is unintentional, it is hot.
  2. If it is intentional, it is slutty.
  3. If it has not been revealed from debut, it is "hidden volume."
  4. If it "sags," it is gross. The laws of gravity are not allowed to affect boob physics.
  5. Small >>>> big.

Regarding more specific comments, I don't see how she's copying Beyonce to be honest. Unless Beyonce has a monopoly on a glamourous (read: smoking hot) figure and golden brown wavy hair. Maybe they're referring to Queen Bey's now infamous pictures?

"Bitch better step back or Queen B gonna give you the big D."
And I don't know who Kim Hye Soo is but she's not THAT well-endowed from what a cursory google image search brought up. I think netizens are just really attached to their queens.

At any rate, this kind of provocative outfit from Ailee has brought up a wide range of commentary from slut-shamers to whiteknights defending her purity. Too fucking lazy to give you some screenprints or examples, but go through the Ailee tag on Tumblr and you'll see what I mean. It's the usual shit like: "OMG AILEE 0.0" or "Wow can you get any sluttier, Ailee?" or "Y'all act like y'all never seen no titties before." Gotta give a big shout-out to Soyeon Fanboy for being the most vitriolic/visible in that tag, doe. I think Ailee's a big whore too. <3 ((That's sarcasm, btw))

If you want my opinion, I think the age-old adage applies here. "If ye shalt derive thy jollies from it, thou mayest fap." Carry on Ailee, ya fat whore.

23 comments:

  1. 6. [+14, -2] Pressuring to look at

    Yeah, pressure in my pants.

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  2. Holy crap the last picture is hurting my eyes

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  3. i don't like her face maybe she could make a mask next time from the fabric that's missing from las boobies

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  4. All discussion of the relative quality of breasts in kpop is stupid for the same reason that all discussion of the relative quality of unicorns is stupid.

    People are trained to interpret women's beauty in certain ways that don't necessarily all line up with the ways a woman can be beautiful. Fans are programmed to praise the socially-expected Beauty Parts of a woman even when they aren't there, like a dog trying to return to his dead master.

    Also, a woman's quality and her beauty are always equated, so if someone thinks she is good then she must be beautiful. Look, Ailee is cool, whatever, but don't make lies about her. I wrote about this in response to your last article: http://anhedon.tumblr.com/post/42659596721/twelve-ounce-cans

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You sayin tits aren't good ?
      I think you better be leavin now, before I get my shotgun out.

      Delete
    2. Tits are great, I just don't see any around here.

      Delete
    3. in real life i believe that nobody should ever tell a woman (or a man) what they are supposed to look like, because there is no 'supposed to', beauty can't be quantified in that way

      but you need to loosen the fuck up cuz dis be da internetzzzz gurl look at dem titties.

      Delete
    4. Beauty can be quantified, in the form of the 1-10 scale.

      Delete
    5. @Xiss; "beauty can't be quantified in that way" - see, this is wannabe-philosophical plebian talk.
      I'd recommend you read up on even early stuff like Socrates and Platon with their "Hippias I." dialogue. Other philosophers and people that have had interesting point of views on beauty and the "value" of beauty: Plotin, David Hume, Edmund Burke, Emanuel Kant and Friedrich Schiller.
      The "beauty is subjective" is a very new way of thinking actually that only really became popular in the last 200 years.

      But since "dis be da internetzzzz", I'm not going to write a whole essay and just pitch you some names ! Hah !

      Delete
    6. @Xiss no there are no absolute standard, but there are averages. Regarding Asians, their biological code allows them to be less susceptible to fat, because of carbohydrate tolerance, and, as such, less tits.
      I'm with fallout on this one, and so is biology. Genetics sets the stage, regardless of personal preferences.
      I do welcome people that define beauty of things beyond biological standards, but when talking environment, the vast majority of beauty preferences, are ruled by memetics, intentional or not. You could blame media, but personally I blame frail-minded people and Obama voters.

      Delete
    7. Guise, less talking more fapping.

      Delete
    8. "I blame frail-minded people and Obama voters"

      Aren't these two terms describing the same people?

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ax-2i71bqGw

      Delete
  5. That has got to be push up bras right? Otherwise I am quite surprised on how ginormous her titties are.

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  6. That whole outfit is not that flattering.
    Should have let her boobs a bit looser and remove that jacket. I hate people "wearing" jackets like that.

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    Replies
    1. now that you mention it i hate the outfit as well. somehow i failed to notice she was wearing clothes with the girls all up in my face.

      Delete
  7. OK, Ailee does have boobs, but no one had boobs like that - if they're real. I hate when Netizens bash idols for being "slutty" and shit. They obviously don't know the definition of slutty.

    I blame her stylist. I blame her stylist for almost everything that goes wrong with what Ailee's wearing. Sometimes she wears the most horrific outfits, but so what if her boobs are a little pushed up (ok it isn't a little)? It isn't like her fucking vagina is on display like Paris Hilton!

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  8. Pushup bras are a pretty cool invention.

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  9. To be honest, that's not a very flattering or goodlooking outfit in the first place. And the push-up bra makes it worse.

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  10. Ailee is breaking the law... of gravity

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  11. queen bey, ppl http://i.imgur.com/sDYwhY7.jpg

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  12. her breast are just so squish and high up
    men and women don't find that flattering what-so-ever
    I knew who ever lied to her and said she look good is giggling in a corner farting from laughing so hard

    ReplyDelete