So you want to be a k-pop songwriter - Kpopalypse's 7 steps to certain success*

I've written before about people wanting to become k-pop idols, and how realistic (or not) that is... but what about people who aim to be songwriters?  Is k-pop songwriting a realistic goal?  Can it make money?  How to best approach pitching your songs to the k-pop market?  Never fear as Kpopalypse has all the trufax!

"My bias is a true artist, like, OMG": music production and songwriting credits explained

It's hard to think up any music fandom with an insecurity complex bigger than any given k-pop fandom.  People who are into k-pop (regardless of which group is their fave) can't just seem to say "I like this bubblegum shit, because it sounds good to me, and that's that, and if you don't like it fuck you" - they have to constantly justify everything both to themselves and others, so they can confirm that "yes it's socially acceptable for me to like this group".  That's the real motivation behind a lot of the excessive caring about vocal technique ("See?  My favourite group are talented, see? SEE?") chart success ("Look, everyone likes them in Korea, they MUST be good!") and awards ("They won something!  They're so special!") that many fans engage in.  It's also why fans' eyes light up with delight like twinkly little snowglobes whenever they are alerted to the rare eventuality of a cog in their favourite sculpted corporate pop music delivery machine getting a songwriting credit somewhere, and also why they then go and trot out these song credits tirelessly on forums and websites in some pathetic cyber-dick-measuring contest.

I thought it would be useful to demystify the meaning of technical terms in album credits, as well as how these terms are allocated to different people and also what it means when people co-write, so when the next media hype article comes along about artist X co-arranging song Y with producer Z, you don't get the wrong idea about what's really going on and you at least have some idea about what you're stroking your e-peen about.  Because I love you guys.