I live in Australia, but I'm not a "patriot" (ewww gross) or a "proud
Australian" (bleuuurgh), because anyone who is a "proud Australian"
actually isn't culturally Australian whatsoever - they're a fake, a
tryhard. We don't even have people like that. If you ever see a group
of drunk Australians watching a sports match, and the Australians are
winning, and the drunks start cheering and shouting "Aussie Aussie
Aussie, Oi Oi Oi"... those are not real Australians, they are "decoy
Australians" deployed by our government to fool potential terrorist
threats so they hopefully detonate the bomb in the wrong spot. If you
catch a Southern Cross tattoo on some exposed flesh that just means
they're part of the "elite decoy unit". There probably isn't even real
beer in those glasses but some kind of flame-retardant liquid (or maybe
it's Fosters, unquestionably not a real beer but a
British beer that
nobody in Australia even drinks).
(All Fosters drinkers are about as Australian as Taeyeon in this photo)
