Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Spot the Fanboy

Fanboys, fangirls they are the same to me whether they are idols or not and I knew, I just knew there was a reason I didn't like Eunhyuk (fuckin' man child).



As for the performance itself, the only good thing is the random cape dancers near the end. I do have to say though the 5¢ plastic bag needs to stop trying to look like Ariel. Shes ruining Disney and breaking glass all in the same breath.

(Mama awards were pretty boring anyone actually bother watching them or the screaming children when their idols won random awards?)

Monday, November 28, 2011

My weekly plug for IY2.

We don't always hate on Kpop fans yo.



People who make stuff like this, we adore you.
You are a legend.
Please make more stuff, kthanksbai.

Question of the Week 19

What do you feel is the strangest description for an idol's physical attribute? (or most peculiar title for a dance)

For example:
- Honey thighs
- Egg face
- Chocolate abs
- Sprout dance
- Butt dance

If anyone has suggestions for later Question of the Weeks, please send them to zomg.oppa.sareanghae@gmail.com. Thanks!

Saturday, November 26, 2011

K-pop & mind control

(Disclaimer: I am not an advocate in the belief of conspiracy theories, nor am I a spiritualist or a Freemason. Just wanna share something interesting I saw on the web. Just don't expect something too humorous)

Was chatting a while back on a forum with a netizen who was particularly interested in Illuminati symbolism & New World Order conspiracy theories, and a site was introduced to me- VigilantCitizen, whose aim is to "highlight the influence of Illuminati symbolism & New World Order" in the media.

The symbols covered in Illuminati symbolism are mainly occult in nature, and represent certain "values" which the "Illuminati agenda" embodies- repression of self-expression, indoctrination of the masses through subliminal messages, just to name a few.

VC didn't spare K-pop music among his many articles on Western music, and touched on the music videos of Narsha's "Bbi Ri Bop A", SHINee's "Lucifer", and more recently, Brown Eyed Girls' "Sixth Sense".

I won't be going into too much detail about the individual symbols (it is a load of mindfuck honestly) but I'll just briefly mention some points raised by VC.


1. Narsha's "Bbi Ri Bop A"
- Narsha is represented as a "dual spiritual being", with both Christian and Luciferian symbols seen in the video.
-Role of video is to "influence young talents to join the 'elite', ultimately adopting values which the elite wants them to adopt".




2. SHINee's "Lucifer"
-The name itself isn't subtle with the subject matter VC's picking at; but if you were to watch the end where SHINee does their signature finishing move, it is referenced to a key demon in demonology (the study of demonic entities)





3. Brown Eyed Girls' "Sixth Sense"
- Very "Big Brother-ish"; shows "resistance against a dictator"
- Message is to tell K-pop fans that "resistance is futile".




So, what do you guys think? Bullshit? Some paranoid dude being nitpicky with details? (I think it's a load of mindfuck.)

(K-pop probably looks like a cult now...)

If you want to see the extent of the mindfuck you can go have a look.




Cynophobia

or the fear of dogs for those of you not up to date with your phobias.

(Remember dogs are more afraid of you than you are of them)

The fear of dogs seems to be the thing variety shows love to pry on.
"He's afraid of a dog, well why not bring 5 along with us to the shoot!", "Brilliant, that'll make him scream".
I imagine that's how the conversation goes anyways.

The amount of idols afraid of dogs is just exhausting (CEOs must scout the streets with puppies or something), to name a few: 2NE1's Dara, Infinite's Sungkyu, A Pink's Hong Yoo Kyung, SUJU's Ryeowook, SS501's Kim KyuJong and so on . . .

The reason I find this phobia so exhausting isn't even because it is WAY overused but because of the little fangirls who say thing like :

"<3 RT @erikaakire13: In Birth of a Family, both A Pink and Infinite has a member who's afraid of dogs...this is gonna be CUTE."

"I WANNA BITE HIM. TOO CUTE XPP"

"LOL idk why but i laughed my butt off when the dog licked his toe"

"He screamed like that when I took him from ... LOL"

Hearing idols high pitched screams seems to be what fangirls thrive on and broadcasting companies are trying to dish it out as fast as they can. So here is one for all you fangirls out there (secretly I loath you all). For everyone else...don't watch unless you want your ears to bleed.




If you ended up watching I do apologize but I did warn you.

Taecyeon is a great rapper





Uhhh......not convinced anon. But that's okay, Taecyeon is working on his underground debut.

Bang Yong Gook + Zelo = I'm only watching the MV for Hyosung

So I'm reading this article from Koreaboo. The third member of TS Entertainment's boy group has been revealed. TS Ent. is milking the living shit out of this boy group. They just need to debut already. Ever since Bang Yong Gook debuted in the mainstream market back in March (yeah, he was a terrible underground MC beforehand), TS Entertainment has not shut up about the idol group he's gonna debut in.

Zelo, the third member of the group, "is said to possess a low voice as well as great rapping skills." lolwut. Having a low voice doesn't make someone a good rapper. If that were the case, Bang Yong Gook wouldn't be in this idol group.

I'm already tired of writing about this guy and this idol group set to debut in 2015, so here's the MV teaser.



2PM's Junsu disregards basic air safety protocol.

On November 24th, 2PM's Junsu tweeted a picture of the clouds while in flight.


Can't see the problem with all the purdy fuzzy clouds clouding your logic?

As far as I know, at that altitude, the seat belt sign should still be on. Which means, keep your butts on your seats and don't use your damn electronic devices which will fuck up the navigation system.

To substantiate this, I took it upon myself to ask a family friend who's an air steward and he said at around this point the plane is still in take-off mode, and no electronic devices are to be switched on yet.

And of course, not a single netizen at AKP is bothered that their dear Junsu oppar could have 1, single-handedly cause a plane crash; or 2, didn't pay attention to the safety video played before take-off.

If anyone sees news about a plane en route to Malaysia from Japan crashing, you’ll know who to blame. People with family members on that plane, you’ll know who to direct your flaming torches and pitchforks to. No need to thank me.

(PS: New author in the house. Despite this being one of my application pieces, it's rather recent news.)


Thursday, November 24, 2011

The highlight of the Melon Music Awards.

Bless her.
Yup, IU falling was indeed the most interesting thing to happen during the entire show, that's how fucking boring it truly was.

What you might have missed :


  • Elfs vs. Sones in the livestream chat.
  • VIPs complaining about how SNSD won the Global Artist award and not their beloved Big Bang oppars since BB won the MTV EMA! all thanks to bulk voting. Hence, it's obviously a conspiracy! Even though GDTOP winning Best Rap/Hip-Hop for 'Oh yeah' clearly wasn't good enough. On the other hand, Sones were too busy chanting 'POWAAAAAAAAA OF 9!' 'GLOBAL GENERATION'! and not giving a fuck.
  • Elfs bitching about Super Junior not winning the Album Daesang despite them winning the Netizen Popularity Battle award. Not realising that bulk buying albums has nothing to do with digital sales (which most boy groups in SM fail to achieve since the general public does not give a fuck about them), ignorance is bliss after all.
  • Everyone getting trolled by 2NE1's mini album winning Album Of The Year instead of a full album. Blackjacks bragging about how unnies are 'QUEENS OF PERFECT ALL KILLS!!!!!!' (who flopped in the album charts + Japan but who cares? NAEGA JEIL JAL NAGA OFC!!!!) 
  • Everyone collectively hating on Beast/B2ST/Batoost for winning Artist Of The Year. Priceless.
  • Secret vs. Sistar dance battle, which frankly speaking was quite a joke. See it for yourself. 

allkpop trolls Kpop



A couple months ago, the guys over at Asian Junkie told me about this group, but I just thought they were fucking with me, so I didn't believe them when they said allkpop had their own girl group. Months later and allkpop started posting teasers for their new girl group and I thought they were trolling their readers. The MV comes out and I'm still convinced all of this shit is a joke. After watching the MV, I wish it was just a joke. Wait, it is a joke, so good job allkpop.

The best analogy you could make for New F.O. is allkpop. They're both fucking jokes that no one can take seriously. I've even gotten banned from 6theory for calling allkpop a joke and a terrible news site.

Anyway, I'd like to get this MV out of my head as soon as possible, though I have a feeling that Korean media portals will be mad at allkpop. First they accused allkpop of being anti-Hallyu, and now they'll accuse allkpop for being anti-Hallyu for debuting the lamest group of 2011. They'll say something like "allkpop is trying to kill the Hallyu by producing a girl group so laughably bad that people move onto something else."

allkpop, if you happen to kill off the idol craze with this new group, I'll actually have to thank you. I like my idols, but Kpop doesn't need 30 new girl groups a year.

Shuffling takes Korea by storm

I'm sure many, if not all of you, have heard LMFAO's 'Party Rock Anthem', a song which has nearly single-handedly revived the dance known as the Melbourne Shuffle. What many of you probably haven't heard is X-Cross's 'Crazy', a song that is essentially a Korean rip-off of earlier stated song. (Think: the relationship between Flo Rida's 'Right Round' and G-Dragon's 'Heartbreaker'). And as much as I found the striking resemblance hysterical and, you guessed it, pathetic, I still found myself occasionally humming the tune (or yes, singing "Shot, you enna, enna enna enna eh" at slightly obnoxious volumes). After all, like it's predecessor, it is capable of being extremely catchy and stupid, all at once.



So sure, I may have been fond of the song, and Korea may have felt the same way. That does in no way mean others should have followed in their footsteps. Least of all hip-hop semi-legend L.E.O., a rapper who has worked alongside the likes of Loptimist, DJ Soulscape, Verbal Jint, Dynamic Duo (Shoutout to 다듀!.... since the opted to leave me out of their shoutout video..), and other hip-hop entities. He of all people should not have teamed up with Illnit (a lesser known rapper from the same label) to create this clusterfuck that is not even worthy of being called a parody. It is in some ways, like a serious Facebook Official.



So in conclusion: Kpop, even though 99% of everything you own is derived from other pop cultures, please do attempt to retain a sense of individuality. We happen to like you just the way you are (slut-idols, minimal talent, catchy-as-shit music), without having to resort to these petty thefts.

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

The Clumsy Girls receive a new trophy

"This time, I promise not to drop it and proceed to step on it!!1one! keke~"

"Technically, this counts as a second award! We won twice now! Watch out, errboydy!"

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Mad Soul Child's Breath MV



I've been a little more mean than usual lately, so instead of torturing you guys with the A Pink MV, here's Mad Soul Child. Yes, the vocalist in MSC is Jinsil from Tablo's Bad.

QOTFYM: Guess who?

datass

Take a Deep Breath

Sohee is in a relationship...




















Where is all the crying ?!?








Oh right, cause no one cares, when Yubin is still single.



Qs: Do any of you actually cry when you find out your "idol" is in a relationship like some of the more "extreme" fans?


Edit: Shows how much I care about the wondergirls...not changing the name :)

Let us start a rumour instead.

How to be INFINITE-ly sneaky


On November 19th, Pedo-noona gag woman, Shin Bong Sun, went to visit INFINITE in their impressive new home away from their pedo-manager.

Crazy, hawk-eyed netizens, of course, were not only creeping on watching where every inch of furniture was located so they may hide under it when they inevitably break into their home, but they also spotted a photo of Taeyeon which one of the boys most likely enjoys himself looking at tucked into his bed.

I have to say, never have I ever seen anyone hide something so terribly. It is almost like he set it up like that hoping Taeyeon would watch the episode and be enamoured by his dedication and, in turn, fall in love with this closet stalker.

Just so you know though, it does not work like that, INFINTE boys. Trust me, I would know.

Try voodoo dolls next.

But anyways, do any of you have creepy collections of idols? I'm looking at you: Anti Kpop-Fangirl, Davidfresh, and 아저씨.

Monday, November 21, 2011

Question of the Week 18

Haven't had one of these in a while, now have we?

Which idol do you believe deserves the title "goddess"?

Cause I absolutely do not believe it's Gyuri.



GODDESS.

NOW BOW THE FUCK DOWN AND WORSHIP ME OR I'LL OPTIC BLAST YOUR 2 INCH PENIS OFF.

Credits : Nymston


Saturday, November 19, 2011

Rainbow is "the best looking group"



Anyone who has ever talked to a Rainbow fan has heard this phrase. "Rainbow is the best looking group in Kpop." Maybe it's consolation for no one giving two fucks about Rainbow, but there's no way I could ever agree with this statement. There is no "best looking group" because there is always one or two members to ruin it. It doesn't matter how good the other three-five members looks, there's going to be one-two members that troll the fuck out of you.

In the top picture, Jisook looks like a centaur and Jaekyung looks like she just got done snorting some cocaine. In the bottom picture, Yoonhye looks like a fish, Noeul looks like a terrible Son Dam Bi, and Kwanghee is wearing a fucking wig and taking pictures with Rainbow. Sorry Rainbow fans, I don't see it.

Friday, November 18, 2011

Lack of fanwars between Sones and Wonderfuls makes me a sad panda



I read through a few pages of comments, but there's no arguments in this damn video. Are Sones and Wonderfuls bitching at each other on allkpop? I've been waiting for the moment for a while, but end up more disappointed than when I find out the Japanese porno I'm streaming is censored.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Rainbow's Mach MV



Read the label.

Should AKF make their own girl group?

I guess this could be QOTW since we haven't had one for two weeks. I personally would go pick 3-4 fat chicks and make an idol group. My goal is for them to actually be able to sing, then they'd have a shitload of female fans since they would be able to identify with my girl group. What kind of idol group would you make?

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Soyeon sees my tumblr and gives me a warning

I finally made news, but not in the way I wanted. Soyeon said she will report me from now on and that I'm not considered her fan. She must have seen my tumblr.


Monday, November 14, 2011

Phominuteslut, Phominutesluttttttttttttttttt. It's a Phominuteslut post yo. ♥


There hasn't been a Phominuteslut post in a while, which makes me sad.


I came across some lovely pictures of Hyena which inspired me to write an improvised version of the classic Christmas carol.

You better watch out 
You better not cry 
You better load your tranquillisers
I'm telling you why 
Hyena unnir is coming to town. 



She's making a list, 
Checking it twice; 
She's gonna turn you into her snack whether you're naughty or nice. 
Hyena unnir is coming to town. 


Animal instincts activated YAYER.

Hawt.

Kim Taewoo to be a dad and to get married



I knew Yuri would be the happiest when she heard of the news. Ah well Taewoo, fap one last time if you feel the urge to. I found a picture you might like. It's like she's begging for it.

Let's play a game.


Sunday, November 13, 2011

A day in the kpop life of davidfresh

Wake up in the morning feeling like P. Diddy. Turn on my computer, glance lovingly at my wallpaper. Attempt to refrain from getting an erection. Succeed. Kinda.

They see Suckmydee trollin', they hatin'.


Yoochun wants Song Seung Hun



You'll see at the 5 second mark that Song Seung Hun and Kim Tae Hee are eating the pizza together. Later you see Yoochun tied up with Song Seung Hun. But then Yoochun doesn't have any shots alone with Kim Tae Hee. It's as if he requested to be tied to Song Seung Hun and avoided Kim Tae Hee as much as he could.

Hiring time



No time limit, but the sooner the better.

Cleanse your eyes with some Ji Eun.




Friday, November 11, 2011

Park Bom didn't have surgery.




Also note :

Eunjung is fed up with this shit




Someone wants to cut me

2NE1 really IS the best!!!1!


Recently, everyone's favourite Korean girl group, 2NE1, won the Best New Band in the World award.

I have no idea what that is, where it came from, or that it even existed. I want to be proud of them, but so many VIPs and BlackJacks make me ashamed to be a fan of theirs. What are all of these awards YG groups have been winning lately, anyways?

Now, because a lot of readers have been complaining that we pick too much on the artists lately rather than the fans, here are some choice comments I would like to share with you:

"Hell YEAH!BIGBANG won Best WORLD-Wide Act
2NE1
2NE1 won Best New Band in the WORLDSee the common word? WORLDWhat a happy week for YG Family and YG stans!Remember those sleepless nights we went through just to vote for them?Remember those times when we were hungry but chose not to eat since we were busy voting for them?Remember those times when we needed to study but we refused not to just so we can vote for them?IT FINALLY PAID OFF!
I am so proud of you guys! We stick through thick and thin and we help each other like REAL family <3I AM SO PROUD TO BE A BLACKJACK~P.S. Thank you for all the other ones who also spent their time voting for 2ne1/BB. We really appreciate it :)"

Let's recap: Sleepless nights, starving, and rejecting education just to vote. Disappointed parents, check.

"FIGHTING 2NE1 I HAVE NO REGRETS IN VOTING FOR YOU ..... THEY DONT NEED TO ANOUNCE THE WINNER BECAUSE 2NE1 IS THE BEST AND THE BEST IN OUR HEARTS ; )"

Because of the lack of education from staying home to vote, the ability to use proper grammar, spelling, and sentence structure is impaired, check.

"I'm Going Crazy of HAPPiness!!!! OMG I knew this was going to happen!!!!
2NE1 I love YOU!! they are my beautiful girls making History!!BIG BANg OppAs are Soo Proud of them as well.Together Big Bang ANd 2ne1 Changing KPop HIstory!!! YES!!"
"YAH!! I'm so happy!! November started pretty damn good this year!! We did it BLACKJACKS & VIPs! Less than a week, our favorite boys & girls made history!! :)
2NE1 = BEST NEW BAND IN THE WORLDBIGBANG = WORLDWIDE ACT (Record breaking of votes) !!Congrats to the YG FAMILY! XOXOPS: IN YOUR MOTHAFUCKEN FACE HATERS!!! :P"

Ignorance and stupidity, check.

Where are you people even finding the polls to vote for them? Don't you 12 year olds have school? What do your parents think you are doing on the computer all the time?

Words cannot express how saddened I am about our generation. If this is truly what they waste their time on, and if this is how our generation will be remembered, then:


Thursday, November 10, 2011

Sorry IY2, but...



Based on this video and another one I saw last night, there's way too much Hyoyeon and Amber in it. I may watch if Ahjussi makes the anti-cut like he promised, but I don't know if I could sit through that crap for just Jiyoung and Suzy. Yes, Bora and Woori are hot, but they'll be wearing some ahjumma clothing, so they'll have zero sex appeal. I think Yewon looks kind of cute (kind of reminds me of a younger Ha Ji Won), but she'll be like Hyomin and Sunhwa and get edited out. Then Boom is an MC, and yeah, I don't find him funny.

As for Hyoyeon and Amber being on the show, what is everyone's conspiracy theory? Mine is that the production crew wanted Sunny, but SM made them take Hyoyeon and Amber along or else SM wouldn't allow Sunny to be on IY2.

Jessica lies for Hyoyeon's sake



The other day an anon told me in the chat that they missed the pictures I used to edit. Then I realized "Jesus Christ, it has been forever since I did this." I originally made my tumblr for this purpose, but then I just started using tumblr for Soyeon pics.

But don't worry, I'm not going to do five of these everyday like I did back in April. But yes, I prefer making these pictures than writing the long-ass essays that dominated the blog back in the summer.

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Award season is some serious business yo.

NO PAIN, NO GAIN!


 Sharing some of the amazingly retarded things you get linked on twitter.
'This is an attempt to gain back Super Junior's lead for MAMA. 
 If the following things doesn't work for you, just try your best to vote everyday. THAT'S THE SIMPLEST THING 'YOU CAN DO.
 

Cyclops has amazing acting skills

Behold the Oscar-worthy performance after the jump.

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Fangirls are a Threat to National Security

Was watching Running Man (sadly Arnold Schwarzenegger did not make an appearance) yesterday and have decided that Fangirls are an official threat to national security. Let me explain:

Any port of entry to a country (i.e Airports, marinas) is the weakest part of that countries security. Which is why people (i.e government) have been so adamant about putting in some pretty ridiculous means of securing that port (i.e body scanners). End of technical crap and onto fangirl.

Fangirls (read hordes of fangirls) like to crowd into busy airport and "welcome" / "say goodbye" to their favorite idols. They cannot pass any of the security checkpoints because they don't have a ticket (Wouldn't be surprised if they bought a ticket to pass the checkpoints), but they crowd in the pick-up/drop-off areas for days sometimes (because idol flights aren't always exposed) just waiting.

No, you do not have to watch the video unless you feel like seeing
HORDES OF FANGIRLS



JUST LOOK AT THEM ALL!

These little stunt leaves airports at risk for terrorist attacks and so on because most airports don't have the security to watch hundreds of crazy fangirls. Terrorist in the past haven't always been on the aircraft itself but sometimes they like to blow up baggage claims (ex. Domodedovo 2011). I can just see a guy with a bomb strapped to his chest walking right through all the screaming fangirls as their idols walk by.

And for the fangirls who crowd around in the Seoul Incheon International Airport you do realize that the country is on a war footing, right?

On a side note most people don't appreciate people screaming in their ear after a long 20 hour flight. So fangirls cool your jets and leave the airports passengers/staff at peace.

Side note 2 no the video is not Seoul why cause it was the shortest one I could find. Didn't want anyones ears to bleed.

Monday, November 7, 2011

Japan, you're fucking gross



I somehow made it through the whole video. Since I suffered through this shit, I'd like to share my pain with the rest of you.

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Big Bang wins the Worldwide Act for the MTV EMAs

I made some pictures to describe how things went.

MV Review: Wonder Girls - Be My Baby



UUUUUUUUNF!! They are SO FUCKING SEXY in this. I'd even bag & tag Lim.

The dancing is exactly what Secret always sets out to do before they hire an epileptic mime on meth to choreograph for them. Here the Wonder Girls seem to have hired someone in New York, because this is a really classy stage show kind of deal. Honestly, after reviewing their previous performances on Korean music shows, even the more recent (which aren't so recent), I'm a bit worried about them vocally. Hopefully they have been training to sing well WHILE dancing to remain competitive in the growing market.

But seriously they are SO SEXY are you seeing this? LEGS LEGS LEGS UUUUUUUNNFFF!!

Korea needed thick, busty girls-

So God said "let there be Secret"; and there was Secret, and God saw that it was good. Amen.

All 4 of them though, seriously. And even though Jieun and Sunhwa aren't on the same league as Zinger or Hyosung, if it came down to it, I'd be perfectly content fucking their legs. I don't even mind if Sunhwa keeps those sexy-ass stockings on, they look kinky as fuck.


Gawd, who wouldn't want to fuck Jieun?
But enough fangirling. Zinger still looks and sounds like ass. Sorry.

Friday, November 4, 2011

Oh yeah, forgot Rain enlisted



After pushing back his enlistment as far as he could, I totally forgot that Rain enlisted at the age of 40. It just dawned on me that he enlisted after I watched this CF about 20 times.

Honestly, I don't know much about Rain's songs. I only watched Rainism's MV when it came out and the Love Song MV because Han Ye Seul is in it.

Well Rain, have fun with your four weeks of training and two years working at the desk and at concerts, and having 6 months worth of vacation. Honestly, with what little celebrities do in the military, they'd be better off not going. But being an anti of Kpop fangirls, I like not having to read about oppa for two years.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

The Good, The Bad, The Well-Breasted


After hundreds of attempts, Sunhwa finally has a good selca



As you see in the title, Sunhwa was finally nice enough to upload good selcas of herself. Well, it doesn't surprise me that Sunhwa can look good, but she's the Korean version of Jekyll and Hyde. She can look stunning one minute (like in the photos above), but in the photos below, I wonder how I ever thought she was attractive. Then I wonder if she's growing a unibrow or if it's just the angle and shadow making it appear that way.



It's not just this one occurrence where Sunhwa has looked like this. She has several selcas with the same terrible quality. Sunhwa, in the future, only post the good selcas of yourself. I don't need to see anymore boner-killing selcas from you.

Jessica's Stalker



On Strong Heart, Jessica was talking about her stalker. One night, after Lee Soo Man was done riding her, he took Jessica back to the barn. There was a man outside of the barn and he snuck in, only being noticed because he was carrying an umbrella with him. She said she went into her stall to get away from him, but the stalker was standing outside of the stall. Being afraid that this stalker wanted to have sex with a horse, she neighed and some of her horse friends, Hyomin being among them, came to the stall and scared away the stalker.

David hasn't stalked Jessica since.