Friday, March 16, 2012

[MV Review] EXO - History

OMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO EXO RELEASED A NEW DAEBAK MV AND MY OVARIES ARE EXPLODING OMOMOMOMOMO KAI SEHUN D.O CHANYEOL BAEKHYUN SUHO XIUMIN LUHAN LAY CHEN TAO KRIS OPPAS SO JJANG SO DAEBAK SO JJANGBAK KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA




SO HAPPY TO BE REVIEWING THIS OMO JUST FUCKING CLICK READ MORE TO SPAZZ WITH ME~




Omo. Okay, so this flawless MV is mega-fucking jjangbak. It's a sexy hot dance MV in some fucking cool sets with sexy hot close ups so we all can eyefuck our oppas together~

The MV opens up with a daebak CG sequence that shows off how rich and cool SM Town is because no one else can afford to spend money on such an extravagant and excellently rendered 5-seconds. Only the best for the best, hwaiting~

The asteroid ripping through space is an accurate metaphor for what EXO
does to all of our ovaries.
Obviously this helps sets up a ton of symbolism. EXO are so jjang, so daebak, so jjangbak even, that they're like supreme sex gods sent down from heaven sent to flood our panties or omniscient daebak beings from a far superior intergalactic civilization here to uplift us into true civilization. 


BOSS ME MORE OPPA, SLAP THE CUM OUTTA ME TIL I BLEED

Anyways, the dance is super sexy jjang and no one else can do the dance because it is so hard to do (I should know I spent weeks trying to do the first 10 seconds of the song with my friends XD). It has super technical moves that require years of being an SM trainee to even qualify to do them. Everyone who said EXO has no talent are clearly blind jealous fatties. Here are some of the most jjangbak moves I wish I could do too~

FAP DANCE (MALE VERSION) UNF
FRONTAL VIEW UNF CUM AT ME OPPAS
You wish your oppas could be this good too~
DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH PRACTICE IT TOOK TO MASTER THIS MOVE?
Pop, lock, and fuck it me.
Then Superman my hole, fup fup.
Like I said before, everyone in EXO is super fucking hot. Omo I want them to fuck me with their daebak man meat so hard. I would suck all of their huge dicks and everything cause they're so hot and I sarang them. Their hair, their makeup, so fucking jjangbak. Don't even get me started on the outfits, all of them look so cool with their harem/genie pants. It makes sense though, it's the only kind of pants that'll fit their huge cocks in, unf unf I likey likey dat. O-to-the-motherfucking-ttoke~ You wish your fugly oppas could afford such luxurious and expensive clothing, all of them are true cutting-edge fashionistas. Fuck YG, they don't have shit on my EXO oppas~

It's like a sex-zure ripping through our quivering vaginas!!
The song itself is like an aural orgasm, like all 12 EXO members had a fucking sexy hot bukakke all over my eardrums. It does not get any better than this, not unless your EXO bias sings this song into your ear as he fucks you with his big dick every time you listened to this song. The rap is super jjangbak, it sounds like he's growling into my ear, fup fup. The English is also so jjangbak, it's like all of them were born in America!! "Every every every DAY, negamangaiuegasdgum HISTORY?" CUM ON, THAT'S FUCKING GENIUS.

TL;DR
FUCKING AMAZING AND FUPWORTHY MV FOR A FUCKING AMAZING SONG

I give this song a Forever12 out of 5~

20 comments:

  1. Reading this review made sexually frustrated 0__o, ohh gosh someone help me!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. i thought this is suppose to be "anti kpop-fangirl"?? why is there an article full of bullshit fangirl spazzing?? what the fuck is this??

    ...not sure if this is just a bullshit article or AKF just become worse...

    P/S: i regret reading this shit...making me fell like vomiting...and also, everybody knows EXO is full of crap overrated whore and over promoted bitches and fucking untalented bullshits...just like other SM artist...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Would it have been clearer if there was an "/sarcasm" at the end?

      Delete
    2. you are so dumb, for real.

      Delete
  3. Is Zaku a girl? Anyway because of the opening, I watched the mv and now I regret my decision. I'm especially disappointed because the first song they released had me hyped up. It was a different sound from what SM & kpop usually produce.
    But now we're back to the super kpop generic sound and MV without any story and ono ugly sets.

    ReplyDelete
  4. This song is ass, but it sounded one million times better in Chinese, even though they made Lu Han look like a strange little ladyboy.

    Kris geger so hot.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Imagine Mblaq had a love child with Super Junior, but then this child had incest love with its uncle shinee, and the child from that made a baby with f(x), The offspring is EXO.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I don't think anyone quite caught the satire I was aiming for.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I thought it was quite blatant, the first fucking word is "OMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" How much more sarcasm can be imbedded in the daebak, jjang and , is this a real thing?, jjangbak.
      And the repetition of ovaries is pretty blatant, representing the reflection of female kpop fans who are fingering themselves to EXO.

      tl:dr
      I GOT IT : D

      Delete
    2. I feel your disappointment Zaku.

      People that doesnt see it must be retarded.....

      Delete
    3. It was so painfully obvious that whoever didn't get it *coughFaidzul Firdaus Mastorcough* is srsly dumb lololol

      Delete
  7. Most Asian don't understand this kind of joke

    ReplyDelete
  8. too much sarcasm will make you look like a retard LOL

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. not getting sarcasm in the first place makes you retarded HARHARHARHARHARHARHAR

      Delete
  9. oppparrrr are jjangbak!!!!1!!11
    I wish all 12 of them could fuck me at the same time!11!!!

    keep writing like this I love it lol

    ReplyDelete