ELFs. Love em or hate em, you can be guaranteed one thing at least. They are some crazy bitches and they stir up the funniest shit. In this latest ELFish crusade, our EverLasting Friends have raised an outcry at perceived insults and injustice. Filled with righteous fury, they've mobilized their troops to declare war on EXO. Again.
|Dis gun be good, Siwon.|
Apparently, SM is having EXO perform a few songs at Super Juniors SS4INA. A saner, more rational person would see this as a rather standard marketing ploy:
SUJU, in what may be their twilight hours, get to introduce EXO to their legions of ELFs, whose fanbase overlaps with EXO's anyway. In a win-win situation, EXO potentially gains new fans, SuJu gets to rest during EXO's stage(s), ELFs who like EXO (or EXO fans who like SuJu, whatever) get 2 concerts for the price of one, SM reaps massive profit from merchandising the both of them, and everyone goes home satisfied.
But no, these are ELFs we're talking about, and nothing is ever that simple with ELFs. See for yourself:
If that massive wall of poorly articulated and badly punctuated text that defies standard English grammatical conventions boggles your mind like it did mine, here's the TL;DR summary:
Basically, ELFs are butthurt that EXO is performing at Super Junior's concert, stealing their spotlight. ELFs are also butthurt that EXO fans and possibly SM (it was rather unclear, so sue me) are bringing EXO fan banners to support EXO. Obviously, ELFs can't do anything about the EXO performance, so their next best course of action is to issue an ultimatum: "DON'T BRING EXO SHIT OR YOU'RE NOT A PURE ELF"
I'd like to highlight 3 very special lines:
"IF YOUR DAD IS HAVING DINNER WITH YOUR MUM, AND HE LET YOUR STEP-MOTHER TO SIT ON THE MAIN SEAT, IS THAT CALLED RESPECT TO YOUR MUM?" WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN MEAN AHAHAHAHAHAHHA
"PURE ELF" WAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
"... BLACK OCEAN WILL BE SERVED ON YOUR REAL IDOL PERFORMANCE" WAHAHAHAHA BLACK OCEAN WILL BE SERVED AHAHAHAHAHAHAH
On a more serious note, all this talk of purity and realness brings up unfortunate parallels to say... skinheads or Neo-nazis. Radical extremists loyal to a perceived ideal and willing to resort to any means necessary to get their way? Official badges of membership, superiority complex, cult of mysticism? You be the judge.
But thank you ELFs. Stay the batshit crazy fangirls we love to mock.