Thursday, April 25, 2013

Teaser Galore - T-ara N4, Hello Venus, Secret, Po Minute, Lee Hyori

While I generally don't write articles about teasers (since teasers are usually lies and get our hopes up for nothing), there are a lot of teasers showcasing some comebacks I'm interested in seeing.

There will be two scales for these teasers. The first one will be the standard 1-5 scale. This scale will rate how much I'm looking forward to listening to the song. The second scale is the flaccidity scale. The scale will be: renob, flaccid, semi-erection, rock-hard erection. Why? Well, because these are all girl group/solo artist comebacks, my penis will assess whether or not the comeback is worth looking forward to alongside my ears.

Teasers after the jump.


T-ara N4




This is just one of many teasers to come from T-ara N4. I have no idea what to expect from T-ara N4 because after Bo Peep Bo Peep, they have been a one-trick pony recycling the same song composed by Shinsadong Tiger. With Duble Sidekick at the helm and a different MV director (which I'm sure everyone is the happiest about), this could either be good or bad.

Song Anticipation: 4
Flaccidity Scale: Semi-Erection

I rated my anticipation a 4 mainly because it's about time T-ara does something different. We'll see whether it's actually good or not when the song comes out. On the flaccidity scale, I rated it a semi-erection. The hottest members are in the subunit...and then there's Areum. At least she doesn't completely look like ass in the teaser.

Hello Venus




Hello Venus is making another comeback while After School sits at home collecting money off of UEE's activities. It's hard to gauge someone's excitement for Hello Venus. Venus was a good idol song and they have quickly fallen from there. They do need a good song to solidify themselves.

Song Anticipation: 2
Flaccidity Scale: Rock-Hard Erection

I'm not really anticipating the song because HV's latest tracks hasn't lived up to expectations. They are stuck doing the same type of song, and this is already their fourth promotional track with a similar sound. On the other hand, the members look great, so the MV should be worth watching, even if I eventually have to mute the MV. Plus, Ara doesn't look as Frankenstein-ish here.

Secret




Secret is making a comeback and that's always a good thing in my books. However, this seems like a retread of what they did in 2011, so my excitement is down a bit.

Song Anticipation: 2.5
Flaccidity Scale: Rock-Hard Erection

Like I just stated, the teaser makes it seem like Secret is going to retread old ground. Shy Boy and Starlight Moonlight are my two least favorite Secret songs. However, Hyosung, Jieun and Sunhwa are hot as usual, so there's that to look forward to.

4minute




First, is anyone surprised that 4minute hasn't disbanded yet?

Song Anticipation: 1.5
Flaccidity Scale: Flaccid

Wow, maybe this is just a bad teaser, but there's nothing that makes me want to listen to the song or watch the MV. The song sounds recycled from their old singles, but worse. The fashion just sucks ass. This will most likely be a pass for me.

Lee Hyori




Song Anticipation: 0
Flaccidity Scale: Rock-Hard Erection

After H-Logic, I haven't really given a shit about Hyori. Half of that album was plagiarized and Shitty Shitty Gang Bang was awful. However, she's still hot, so I can at least watch the MV on mute.

40 comments:

  1. Do people still like kpop? No one curr about idols anymore, unless its snsd. I hate music...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You also hate girls that don't look like weird fuckdolls.

      Delete
  2. My ratings:

    No Soyeon/10.
    Sugar-coated shit/10, needs more "Lime & Alice only".
    Hyosung and some piece of nothingness/10.
    Hyuna pointing to her pussy/10.
    "0:08 I got no ass anymore, but I must dance"/10.

    5 times boring shit or disaster incoming !

    ReplyDelete
  3. The end of that Hello Venus teaser reminds me of that softcore porn video Minkyung did a while ago. Also, Lee Hyori looks like some Hispanic chick because black and white.

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  4. I dunno, this Phominute song. It sounds more like "Watch your name" rather than "What's your name" The MV is out btw, and the only good part is the jiyoon part. Or was it Gayoon. The one that has the longer hair and not the face of a pitbull.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It sounds like a rehash of Hyena's Ice Cream.

      Also, IMYSM

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    2. Assuming IMYSM is what I think it means then IMYSMTB

      Delete
  5. Phominute's MV/song came out and holy rap it's garbage. At least Volume Up had the song to save it from the shitty lives and MV, but this has...NOTHING. Ugh.
    I'm just excited to see them flop once again on the lives.
    Oh, and of course the MV is HyunA heavy. God, give it a rest... she's becoming an eyesore.

    As for Secret, I nearly flipped my table when I found out they were doing a cutesy concept again. Secret's cutesy concepts SUCK, so hard. And the teaser sounds like shit. Please go back to "Poison" or "Madonna" days because that's when I enjoy the stuff this group comes out with.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Just realized it already came out, and yes it was horrid, kind of like a better version of IGAB honestly

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    2. when has 4minute ever done well with english though. for people who sing in english as often as they do they really fucking suck

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    3. Yes, it's totally crap. The zombie scene is especially contrived and superfluous.

      Delete
  6. AKF, can I have your permission to use your genius flaccid meter?

    On a serious note, the comeback I anticipated the most is 4minute but the song theyve been playing through the teaser kinda sucks ass, on the other hand I liked the T-ara teaser song, but theres no Soyeon WHAAAAAAAAYYYY.

    Hello venus' teaser set looks awfully similar to their venus song (or at least I think), it's that bad, the first 3 seconds of the MV reminds me of the Venus MV. That being said, Venus was quite a good song, I would give them a chance.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, feel free to use the flaccid meter.

      I want to give HV a chance since I really like Nara and Yooyoung, but I haven't really liked their past two promoted singles as much as Venus.

      Delete
  7. I don't see how I'd get a semi-erection from that T-ara teaser

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The flaccidity meter is basically how good they look, not how erotic it is.

      Delete
  8. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  9. Also, I think HV's 차 마실래 sounds awesome. They look sexy and adorable

    ReplyDelete
  10. WTF that T-ara teaser? That build-up at 00:24 sounded like they would start singing "WOW fantastic baby".
    I also blame YG for this horrendous "hip-hop" fashion that is starting taking over Kpop. First SNSD, now T-ara.
    Fuck you YG.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. to me it sounds more like G-dragons CRAYON

      Delete
  11. I'm looking forward to T-ara's song, it sounds awesome.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I watched the Phominit mv and have no idea why I did. I need to bleach my eyes. The "lalala" part reminded me of some Will Smith song though idk

    ReplyDelete
  13. 4 Minute's concept reminds me of what GG tried to do with I Got A Boy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I was thinking the same thing looking at some of the sets and backgrounds.

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    2. But the awkward part is that SM ripped off everything from HyunAh's Ice Cream.

      Delete
  14. I would let Hyori squirt all over my face.

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  15. "and then there's Areum. At least she doesn't completely look like ass in the teaser."

    you must've missed the press conference pictures

    http://25.media.tumblr.com/f32147cfaceef89f05bb2b7d05caf8f4/tumblr_mlq4rmk9iq1r56gvxo9_1280.jpg

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. why is she dressed like someone from f(x)?

      Delete
  16. as a cyclop fag, i think jiyeon looks awesome, as always. fuck u guys.

    ReplyDelete
  17. T-ara N4: being the group that everyone loves to hate, T-ara has the penchant for bringing guilty pleasure to the audiences. And this one is no exception. My expectation is all hyped up by the drama version teaser which is packed with fun. I like how they decidedly take a break from the usual sexy/cutesy theme that has come to define today's kpop girl groups and adopt a carefree approach. Hope the actual thing won't be a let down.....Being on hiatus since last October, let's welcome our quintessential Kpop villain back with open arms.

    Hello Venus: I don't think any straight guys will be having issues with HV saying hello to our penis. But for all of their fap-worthiness, HV has so far followed a safe route in which their innocence has been deliberately accentuated. Playing the "virgin girl" card is a tad too reminiscent of A Pink for their own good (although HV certainly enjoys the benefit of having less dead weights and derp faces than A Pink). It's time to set in motion some changes for better or for worse............

    Secret: Frankly this teaser looks uninspiring and doesn't really do them any justices. Having reached its apex point during the Madonna and Shy Boy promotion, Secret's career seems to have been condemned to an irrevocable downward spiral ever since. They need more of a "game-changer" to reverse the trend.

    4minute: I actually like some of 4 minute's previous promotional tracks, say, Heart to Heart, Volume Up, just to name a few. But apparently their career has stooped to such new low that Cube would actually give such a debacle the nod. Has 4minute hired Hormin in producing this CCM-esque seizure-inducing MV? Apart from the little complaint, this fiasco is beyond redemption. Advice: let Hyena go solo and start anew as a real group instead of perpetuating the laughing stock that is Hyena and its 4 cubs.

    ReplyDelete
  18. I actually love 4minute's song and new album.They sound pretty fresh,and DAMN Sohyun looks mature.The MV was pretty fun and weird at the same time.I liked it. x3
    But I'm biased. XD

    ReplyDelete
  19. I think we'll be seeing a stage where T-ara N4 will be in farm type clothing singing their song.

    ReplyDelete
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