Why Do Female Idols Have It Rough?

It's been a hot topic for just about everyone into kpop that reads comments anywhere. Nobody has really given concrete answers, so I will break down each of the major ones I've discovered/thought the most about.

The Kpopalypse scandal bullshit-detection guide

Some of you have noticed that Kpopalypse has a sharp sense for picking the truth in a k-pop scandal, even before the truth is revealed.  How is this possible?  Is it magic?  Is it divine intervention courtesy of the Raina god?  Or are the sinister forces of logic and rational thinking at work?  Read on as Kpopalypse reveals all!

EXO bullied Kris out of the group: the ironclad evidence*

Like everybody else who follows k-pop, I've been reading about Kris leaving EXO, after all it's been pretty fucking impossible to avoid.  In fact it's even interrupted my blogging schedule - I had a completely different blog about 80% completed and then this fucking shit turned up and crashed the blogging party, demanding that I write about it, simply because I know people will not stop asking me about this stuff if I don't write about it.

While I honestly have no major emotions about EXO in any particular direction (other than at least "Overdose" is better than "Growl"), it's been vaguely interesting to watch the reaction to their line-up situation in Korea.   Many people are calling Kris lazy and sticking up for the rest of the group... but a thought occurred to me: if it were a female group, this would never happen.  Whether it's T-ara, Girl's Day, 5Dolls, miss A, Sistar, Jennie Kim, SNSD, Crayon Pop... it doesn't matter which group it is, when a member is having trouble, that member is an angel and the rest must therefore be evil bullies.  Because anonymous people on the Internet said so.

I thought it would be interesting (to me, maybe not to you or anyone else but oh well) to turn the tables.  How would the EXO/Kris situation be received by the hive-mind if they were judged by the same standards that netizens use to judge female groups?  Read on in the following hypothetical scenario (I have to bold this part or some dumb motherfuckers won't understand the point of this blog) and find out.

BOMDMAS - YG truth formula

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[DRAMA] T-ara are rude bitches...or are they? Yeah, they are.

STRAIGHT OUTTA THE CHEAT'S EVIDENCE FILES: T-ERROR EDITION

You all know what happened. I don't have to write anything. This shit speaks for itself.


(quick recap)
1. Hwayoung injures herself, can't perform much at T-ara's Japanese concert.
2. Boram, Soyeon, Hyomin, Eunjung and Jiyeon ambiguously and passive-aggressively diss Hwayoung on Twitter for being a lazy beach.
3. Hwayoung tweets something passive-aggressive and ambiguous in response.
4. Tarae (Hwadog's rap coach) tweets something entirely unambiguous and aggressive at T-ara, defending her student.
5. Hyodog (not to be confused with Hyogre) tweets supportive messages to Hwadog.
6. Hwadog tweets more ambiguously emotional stuff.
7. Meanwhile, CCM claims "T-ara would never write this catty nonsense and their accounts were...hacked." Nobody believes them, T-ara (minus Qri and Hwadog) look like beaches. Which they are.
8. Kim Kwang Soo (no relation to Kim Jong-il...I think) announces he will make an even BIGGER announcement on July 30th about T-ara (which Chuckus and Jakkuman will cover). Not sure why he didn't just make the BIG announcement...when he made the first announcement. But hey, he's a fucktard.
9. Hyomin changes her Twitter profile pic to a book cover that reads "Everything Happens For A Reason."
10. Boram allegedly unfollows Hwayoung on Twitter. Netizens claim "shit is going down, son."

So while Chuckus and Jakkuman are busy writing their male on male steamy collaboration about the T-ara controversy (pending THE BIG ANNOUNCEMENT), The Cheat has decided to compile evidence of T-ara's bitchiness. I knew there was I reason I didn't like these broads! Furthermore, as The Cheat is always cognizant of his audience's desire for baseless conjecture, The Cheat has also decided to come up with SIX conspiracy theories regarding this controversy and what it could mean.


Also, from now on, T-ara is known as T-error. Because they're not only frighteningly stupid, they're terrible AND they have seemingly destroyed their careers with an error in judgement. Plus, T-error sounds like T-ara.


Check it out after the jump.

I call this macro "The Most Incompetent Girl Group in the World". Stay classy my bitches.