Saturday, July 28, 2012

[DRAMA] T-ara are rude bitches...or are they? Yeah, they are.

STRAIGHT OUTTA THE CHEAT'S EVIDENCE FILES: T-ERROR EDITION


You all know what happened. I don't have to write anything. This shit speaks for itself.


(quick recap)
1. Hwayoung injures herself, can't perform much at T-ara's Japanese concert.
2. Boram, Soyeon, Hyomin, Eunjung and Jiyeon ambiguously and passive-aggressively diss Hwayoung on Twitter for being a lazy beach.
3. Hwayoung tweets something passive-aggressive and ambiguous in response.
4. Tarae (Hwadog's rap coach) tweets something entirely unambiguous and aggressive at T-ara, defending her student.
5. Hyodog (not to be confused with Hyogre) tweets supportive messages to Hwadog.
6. Hwadog tweets more ambiguously emotional stuff.
7. Meanwhile, CCM claims "T-ara would never write this catty nonsense and their accounts were...hacked." Nobody believes them, T-ara (minus Qri and Hwadog) look like beaches. Which they are.
8. Kim Kwang Soo (no relation to Kim Jong-il...I think) announces he will make an even BIGGER announcement on July 30th about T-ara (which Chuckus and Jakkuman will cover). Not sure why he didn't just make the BIG announcement...when he made the first announcement. But hey, he's a fucktard.
9. Hyomin changes her Twitter profile pic to a book cover that reads "Everything Happens For A Reason."
10. Boram allegedly unfollows Hwayoung on Twitter. Netizens claim "shit is going down, son."

So while Chuckus and Jakkuman are busy writing their male on male steamy collaboration about the T-ara controversy (pending THE BIG ANNOUNCEMENT), The Cheat has decided to compile evidence of T-ara's bitchiness. I knew there was I reason I didn't like these broads! Furthermore, as The Cheat is always cognizant of his audience's desire for baseless conjecture, The Cheat has also decided to come up with SIX conspiracy theories regarding this controversy and what it could mean.


Also, from now on, T-ara is known as T-error. Because they're not only frighteningly stupid, they're terrible AND they have seemingly destroyed their careers with an error in judgement. Plus, T-error sounds like T-ara.


Check it out after the jump.


I call this macro "The Most Incompetent Girl Group in the World". Stay classy my bitches.

THE THEORIES

Thank Jakkuman for this one.

1. JYP actually hacked T-ara's Twitter accounts to post these comments in order to move the spotlight away from Nichkhun's recent accident. The company then leaked the information to all the major news sites and forums to fuel the fire. Now they can resolve Nichkhun's situation while everyone is distracted by T-ara. This theory has some merit because the Seo Taiji/Lee Jiah scandal was allegedly leaked to distract the public from Lee Myung-Bak's tax evasion scandal or some shit.


2. T-ara's tweets were actually sarcastic, aimed at KKS in support of Hwayoung. But in a cunning move, CCM said the tweets were malicious in nature and T-ara's Twitters were hacked. Since nobody bought that bullshit, T-ara looks bad, while KKS' comments about the members being arrogant are being vindicated. Now he has an excuse to boot the members he doesn't like with tacit approval from the public who now think T-ara are bitches. Plus, in another cunning turn, he allowed Tarae and Hyoyoung (who were out of the loop) to think that the members were dissing Hwayoung, so the former two came to her defence, adding MOAR FUEL TO THE FIRE. *Manic Laugh* What a fucking trickster! He obviously picked something up from The Cheat.


3. This is all an elaborate and overly circuitous way of advertising T-ara's new venture. Only since CCM are absolutely idiotic at managing anything, it has or will backfire to a massive degree. KKS will announce "hey, this was just a marketing tactic" and Korea will collectively facepalm. T-ara's careers just got crushed by this genius of a man. Maybe it's a drama about the rise and fall of a major Korean girl group...BASED ON A TRUE STORY. 


4. The other entertainment companies, both fed up with KKS antics and T-ara's moderate success, deliberately scheduled everything to coincide with T-ara's comeback so they'd get whooped in sales (Super Junior, 2NE1, Psy, Beast). Kim Kwang Soo, in all his genius, decides to start this controversy by hacking T-ara's Twitters, so they can become relevant again. Great plan, fuckface.


5. Similar to theory four and two, KKS ordered the member's Twitters to be hacked and their images destroyed. Now he can kick Eunjung, Soyeon, Boram, Jiyeon and Hyomin with no public repercussions, throw Hyewon and Hyoyoung into T-ara and have a great new group: Hwayoung, Hyoyoung, Areum, Dani, Qri and Hyewon. Only problem with this plan is that IT'S FUCKING INSANE.


6. The most anti-climatic theory, KKS announces that Dani's debut date has been moved up and she's now part of the group. Nobody gets kicked, no new members are added, nothing changes besides Dani's inclusion. Clap...clap...clap. Fuck that fat Korean pig.

Did I ever tell anyone how I used to be an executive for Enron?
THE BITCH SHOWCASE





In here, we see Eunjung taking perverse delight in stuffing Hwayoung's face full of rice. If it wasn't such a bitch move, there would be material for lesbian slash fiction here.

10:16 - Look at Eunjung's insidiously bitchy face.


6:40 in this video, Jiyeon disses Hwayoung. Bitch. 

Oh, didn't see you there! Bitch.
No wonder she played her character in Dream High 2 so well. She is a bitch!
"Hah hah! Look at that loser trying to get Boram to drape her arm over her shoulder!"
Jiyeon: Who's that bitch standing next to us to the right?
Boram: No clue, I'm so fucking stoned right now.




Man, KKS said he'd add members to T-ara but I didn't think he'd go THIS far! Wait, what's that? None of these people are T-ara members besides Hwayoung? Wait, there's more? She's NOT the only T-ara member at this event? Talk about teamwork. CCM really knows how to cultivate good relationships between its artists.
Chapter IX of the CCM Idol Training Manual: How To Physically Abuse Fellow Group Members In Public Without Drawing Much Suspicion. 
I'll say it now. T-error are officially the Jersey Shore of K-Pop. Actually, scratch that. They're the K-Town of K-Pop.


THE POPCORN



This shit is so good, I can't just display ONE popcorn GIF. I will display ALL OF THE POPCORN GIFS!

Good thing I decided to be American! These Koreans are crazy!

Heh, we haven't had a controversy this juicy since I sued SM and left with all of Yunho's money!

You say T-ara are embroiled in a bullying scandal?

Man, and I thought *I* was crazy! Kim Kwang Soo makes me look like Wayne Brady! The REAL Wayne Brady, not the Chappelle Show one. Now HE was fucking nuts. Did Eunjung really have to choke a bitch?

The word of the day: T-errorism!

I'm too rich to feed myself, also, Cameron, I'm leaving you for Eunjunf.

MUST. KNOW. MORE.

I hope there's some angry makeup lesbian sex! I haven't seen anything this hot since Willow and Tara were fucking!

Wait, what? T-ara just destroyed their career after becoming one of Korea's top girl groups? People are caring about this more than my coming out!

Fuck the popcorn, I wanna see her nipple again!

Dayum, these bitches be TRIPPIN'!

Please T-ara, no! NO!!!!!! Don't throw it all away like that drink I had thrown at me for being a fuckwit!

Hey, this Roly-Poly shit is catchy!
Duh fuck is K-Pop?

CCM has a major girl group controversy? Shit, THAT'S never happened before.

T-error? Who cares, millions of old men fap over me everyday in America!

Damn, Sarah Michelle Gellar and Alyson Hannigan used to be so hot. Yeah so I couldn't think of a caption. What are you gonna do about it? That's what I thought. --The Cheat
T-error used to be sympathetic like I used to be Black. Also their careers are like me. FUCKING DEAD. 
Now is it just me, or do I smell a rap on the horizon? The Cheat out.

77 comments:

  1. Pretty sure it was Dani who hacked their accounts

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Unless the Korean sounded broken from Dani hacking and using google translate, I doubt it!!

      Delete
    2. Conspiracy Alert: Dani knows Korean.

      Delete
  2. Omg.. Lol the cheat. Ur a true artist
    I wub u
    Proud to be a sone

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you my aspiring Cheater. I am pleased to instruct the young ones on The Way of the Hard Troll.

      Delete
    2. No!!! Don't go to the dark side!!

      Delete
    3. sunnys lips
      bewbs
      legs
      and aegyo

      taeyeon voice

      sooyoung personality

      oh my feelsssss.

      Delete
    4. Eunjunf lips
      Hyomin is a well bred horse unlike Sica
      Eunjunf can act*Yoonar tsk tsk luv u bb strry nawt really*for an idol
      Soyeon voice
      No Tryhard
      Better fans
      Too bad no Seogoddess is present.

      Delete
    5. Atleast soshis doesnt agrressively mock otherembers on a public website

      Soshibond 9 as 1

      Hyomin
      Keep using sunny for screen time

      Eunjung a better actdol? Tell me more about how she dint even win an award

      Delete
    6. Now that you mention it, this is pretty fucking important. Sunny has nice boobs, but the greatest thing about her is her lips. She has the greatest lips in the history of mankind. Anyone, try and prove me wrong, you will just jump into this conclusion.

      Delete
    7. I don't have a goat, either

      Delete
    8. It's hard to find a Sunfny stan. Everybody think she ugly I find her to be qt. i like her lips, too. Especially when she have bitch face. Top 5 in best looking sushi members.

      Ha and awards mean nothing when it cums to that! Kristen Stewart also has awards.
      There was also poll that said Hyoyeon is a better dancer than MJ.

      Delete
    9. but awards like daesang needs experts votes too!!!

      Delete
    10. Its hard to find us. Becuz we get tired seeing her evrrywhere.
      And knwing we got. No chance. Cuz she probly hook it off with sungmin from suju

      But somehow. We will crawl back to her

      Delete
  3. http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m7w74mmXZ51qavnd9o1_500.jpg

    ReplyDelete
  4. T-error are rude sluts! Whores! Hope they is died by choking on diq! I so angry! THEY ARE NO TALENT AND LAZY PLASTIC SLUTS, unlike 2NE1!

    On a side note, twitter wars are so stupid if you try to diss someone you know in real life, like fight to da def IRL Bishes!Cowards!!!!!!!!!!111!!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Between your comment and this article I can't stop laughing.
      ~the thrill is back, the thrill is back so I must troll away~
      Akp already post how boram is no longer following hwayoung. I mean really is hwayoung gonna have to spartan kick this bitch?

      Delete
    2. Boram is just mad that Hwayoung makes her look like a leprechaun.

      Delete
  5. 5+ years of training makes them dance, "sing" and shake their butt at the sound of a mediocre pop beat, but naturally doesn't teach them how not to be bitches...

    OH SHIT! I mean: "Those damn hackers taking over T-ara's twitter! This is totally an elaborate business scheme! T-ARA IS TRUE ARTIST. HURR KPOP RULEZ DURR!!1"

    ReplyDelete
  6. Oh how I wish Theory 2 was the real case. *Facepalm*

    Honestly, I was taken a shock by this whole thing. May as well hope that T-ara goes on hiatus and NEVER get new members again. I KNEW something bad for T-ara was bound to happen at some point this year but didn't expect it to happen so soon. Shit, now I feel like some doomsday prophet now.

    But holy shit, I heard JYP has people in the company that moniter the internet....he may have had T-ara's twitter accounts hacked for sure.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I hope that someone gets Falcon Punched.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I actually did forget about Nichkhun because of this

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. How sadly true.

      fangirls are loving this - they've gone from "OPPAR DIDN'T MEAN IT" to "OMG THOSE BITCHES" because some girls falling out is more important than nearly killing someone by gross negligence.

      Delete
  9. I never realized I could jizz and laugh at the same time. One window on this, one window on Heo Yoon Mi = AKF is a genius.

    Meanwhile, shiT-ara are down for the worst group ever. No talent, horrible songs, bitch members, useless ent company. Makes the 5doors issue a teaser concept for this scatstorm

    CCM HWAITING! KKS HWAITENGGG

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Come on! They are better than snsd! -sorry Seogoddess, Sooyoung, Sunny, Yuri, Tiffany :'(-
      They should kick out everyone but Hyomin, Sofishyeon, Manjung and the new member chick Areum I think that's her name and release good songs like they did with TTL.
      Better than SNSD Kekeke no deadweight.

      Delete
    2. This comment has been removed by the author.

      Delete
  10. Scar Jo has magnificent breasts. I so jealous.

    Hwayoung better be careful. One kick from Hyomin's hind leg could be fatal. I wouldn't put it past any of those ruthless bitches to roll her temporarily crippled ass down a flight of stairs.

    In a group where 90% are wasting good oxygen why would they pick on her. At least she raises their average height and lets her titties pop out on television. The fuck does Boram do?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She gives dani a chance to be more useful?

      Delete
  11. Finally a good KDrama after a long time. And Hwaderp, don't quit! you owe us your right nipple

    ReplyDelete
  12. Hyomin is a such a bitch....oh wait hwayoung is the dog.
    Hyomin is such whorse!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And to think I thought she was a pretty little angel. WRONG. *smacks*

      Delete
  13. Did Boram forgot that she's useless too so she wouldn't get any benefits from the someone less useless like Hwayoung?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. All the more reason why she's more like a puppet or a figurehead. Doesn't look like she can impose any degree of authority despite being the oldest.

      Delete
  14. post of the year.... dead at the bill walker and michael jackson popcorn gif

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  15. I never love u more like this CombatBaby ! Those rude biatches should be choked to death. Time to change my account name

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. the cheat is JJANG!
      i am soshified by him!

      Delete
  16. unnies didn't mean it!! My vote for theory 6...

    ReplyDelete
  17. if any of your theories come true i will send you some of my period blood

    great post

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Cool, I'll add it to my collection from adoring fangirls.

      Delete
  18. I'm sort of disappointed but not really surprised. Soyeon always had that "gonna cut a bitch" look to her.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I've barely seen her smile, and damn, she look old lady! Her eyes! The opposite of Cyclops, too far apart. When she had the bangs across her forehead, she looked like the black mom off Tia And Tomara sitcom!

      Delete
  19. Great,it was time for T-ara to disband.Now if they could make Eunjung and Hyomin form a duet or go solo and Qri and Jiyeon to become actresses,the others can get kicked out and everything will be fine.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wait, Qri and Jiyeon...actresses? Bitch why are you even here?

      Delete
  20. stupid queens i found article like this and enter their fanblog but there weren't any article about this and they translated twitter drama but they translated wrong so people think hwayoung is reason and hating her so i made a comment about boram whore unfollowing hwayoung then they commented they are like real sisters you liar and got angry at me

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Obviously you are the stupid one here. In order to prove that Boram has unfollowed Hwaderp on twitter, you need to show us first that she has followed Hwayoung before the incident.

      Delete
    2. she didn't follow her at first but recently she followed her i remember this article because i wondered why she follow her so late then she unfollowed after that drama starts
      im not hwayoung fan i just can't stand bullies because of them i suffered so much and tried to suicide

      Delete
    3. A quick google search returns nothing, I just couldn't find any articles concerning Boram following Hwayoung on twitter, or you can provide me with a link to it? Fans of T-ara are insisting that Boram has in fact never followed Hwayoung on twitter, any such links will debunk their false claim.

      Delete
  21. Just a bunch of attention whores trying to gain buzz because their Britney Spears Criminal rip-off is flopping in the charts right now.

    ReplyDelete
  22. your best article so far, i love it!

    ReplyDelete
  23. CCM seems to have a thing for in-fighting. The 5dolls thing and now this. Not to mention, I think that one group SeeYa went through the something similar? I could be wrong. But it sure does look like CCM/KKS has a thing for it. That, and nip slips. Nice article, though!

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  24. Straight-A Bullshit. I'm disappointed.

    ReplyDelete
  25. This whole episode just proves how useless Qri is.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I was wondering where she was already all this time...

      Delete
    2. sucking KKS's impotent dick to beg for his mercy, maybe?

      Delete
  26. Bloody hell... you should sue for plagiarism.
    http://www.allkpop.com/2012/07/what-is-the-big-announcement-from-ccm-t-ara-breakup-member-kick-out

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He probably steals his ideas from the comment pages of allkpop, where more bizarre and hilarious hypothesizes and conjectures have been put forward.

      Delete
    2. Well, I didn't originally come up with some of this material, after all, I don't care enough about T-ara to do original research by watching their boring ass vids. I just add the humor and commentary.

      Delete
    3. My theories were original though. On the other hand, any dingus could have come up with them if they think hard enough about the situation.

      Delete
    4. Lol. I think there will be more post about snsd and sones after this
      Since many ppl here are t-ara fans

      Delete
  27. To me, Hwadog is seeing things that ain't there and unjustifiably resorts to playing the victim cards to win over sympathy. As it is, Hwadog has already turned into probably the biggest attention whore in T-ara prior to this mess, bigger than Hormin ever is. Does anyone still think Hwadog plays no part in the nipple slip incident? I bet that she has enjoyed the consequent limelight so much that she's been clandestinely plotting for another publicity stunt ever since, only on a grander scale.

    Matter of factly, 5-ara tweeted each other before their Japanese concert, prior to Hwadog relating to hordes of reports at the concert press conference how she was too injured to perform. On paper, the tweets are innocuous cheering-up messages intended for Hormin, who has to squeeze time out of her already murderous schedule for her acting role in MBC's new drama. Hence the emphasis on "difference in level of determination", which is what renders the feat possible, and the phrase "I applaud you, acting genius" from Cyclop. Why would Hwadog and her supporters see it as an innuendo directed at Hwadog, who has no proper acting experience of any sorts, unless she implicitly admits to faking her injury to get on the headline? Even if these tweets were really meant for Hwadog to read, they're more akin to admonishment from the more experienced members than bullying.

    But of course, there are always more than meets the eyes. 5-ara may still turn out to be egregious bitches who privately gang-up to bully a helpless and defenceless new member. But unless Hwadog followers can bring more verifiable evidences to the table, based on what I have seen so far(the tweet messages), I just don't buy the blood-thirsty press and mobtizen's depiction of the event.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. *sighed* hopeful that they aren't bully Hwayoung for no reason, then again we have absolutely no idea what happens behind closed doors. Like the dbsk when people thought they were like brothers but then jjyj and their family members talked shit about the other 2.
      And people actually thinking idols are perfect and pure. Pfft come on most people lose their virgin before they turn 16 and plastic surgery and training. Oh and idols are hav one big orgy. Whatever I'm just waiting for the announcement.

      Delete
    2. That's why KKS recruits Dani to T-ara (but in a few minutes time the T-ara we've come to know of may not exist any more, let's wait and see). She still have >50% probability of being an virgin, good enough to turn on the pedobears.

      Delete
  28. Wow, the announcement will be made via releasing of a video instead of proper press conference. Retarded head KKS is such a publicity whore, there is no line that he will not cross for a few cheap headlines. What a turd.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Wow, the official announcement is out. Hwayoung has annulled her T-ara contract, and will sign up with CCM (again?) as free agent. In other words, she's been kicked out of T-ara, and T-ara is fucked, I can't see rest of the group surviving the backlash........... Well, byebye T-ara, I will miss watching your videos...............

    ReplyDelete
  30. Replies
    1. The fact that this comment is on *this* particular blog... Epic.

      "7. Meanwhile, CCM claims "T-ara would never write this catty nonsense and their accounts were...hacked." Nobody believes them, T-ara (minus Qri and Hwadog) look like beaches. Which they are."

      No. Just... no. Especially after seeing how out of context the rest of the "bullying evidence" was. I agree with timchan's comment above.

      Delete
  31. similar to what i thought but not 100% the same

    ReplyDelete