Tuesday, July 3, 2012

[MV Review] T-ara - Day By Day

Anti Kpop-Fangirl here. This is AKF's first review done by three authors. The review is mainly done by sulli_fag (in black) with some of my commentary thrown in (in red) with some Zaku gifs and commentary (in blue). Color coded for your convenience, bitches.

Prepare yourself for a massive article of text and plenty of pics/gifs. Grab some popcorn while you wait for it to load.

The story takes places in Seoul, 2014 when T-ara's contract with CCM expires. The members had all cheered that they were no longer under Kim Kwang Soo. When Kim Kwang Soo unveiled his secret team of lawyers to keep the seven members under contract for life, Seoul was never the same. Jiyeon harnessed the powers of her father, Scott Summers, and Seoul was destroyed. Jiyeon's laser beams ravaged the city, making the city look as pitiful as Kim Kwang Soo's bank account after he had filed for bankruptcy.

Good night, sweet princess.
Jiyeon then rallies the remaining mutants, subhumans, and the other misfits of society, banding them together and crowning herself Queen. As ruler of the new world, she reigns with an iron fist, ordering her niggas to slice shit up at the slightest provocation. Pretty grimdark for a KPop MV (let alone Korea in general) if you ask me.

As I sat watching this on my computer screen, I was utterly perplexed by what was occurring--for you dumbshits out there perplexed means confused. Yup, I had no idea what the hell was going on. For one, I don't read Hangul, so I couldn't read the intro (inb4 Korea is best language---fuck off) and also I was confused by Dani's inability to act well. For example, she's suppose to be blind yet frequently manages to look directly in the camera and objects more than once throughout the MV.

Example 1:
Stop looking directly at the camera, you're supposed to be blind.
The post apocalyptic setting and the blind main protagonist is kind of a rip off of The Book of Eli, but Dani is no shotgun-wielding Scripture-quoting badass Denzel Washington. It's kind of a shame, but I guess it'd be kinda hard to have a 12 year old do anything but frolic and be a helpless little baby.

Also, let's be perfectly honest here.  It didn't look like she had a hard time finding Hyomin's PRIVATE AREA in the back seat of a car either. (Despite her supposed to be being blind as a bat, I might add.) mmmmm you go Dani, show her what you got, gurl!!!! 

12 years will get you 20, Hyomin... FYI!!
Oh! Please refrain from calling Dani a great actor, I'll never believe you so don't waste your time. All she did was look in various directions to ensure the "audience" knew she was blind and maybe shed a few fake tears (more like they threw jizz water in her face...amirite!?). Bitch, er YOUNG BITCH, failed hard at that. Also she has legs like a giraffe and no body whatsoever! I like my 12 year olds with HUGE DD's and a plump booty...don't you :( um. ANOTHER FAIL!

Giraffe x Horse. Kim Kwang Soo has some fucking weird fetishes. Not everyone can be a Tia.

Also, Am I the only one who thinks Dani looks like Saaya Irie. Yes, I still think it's Seungri in a wig. This could be the reason KKS picked her up from the street. He's gonna send her with T-ara to Japan and get all the pervy uncles to look at her shake her shitmaker for the crowd. Yup, I think she looks like Saaya a lot...and we all know how JAPANESE MEN adore her.

Saaya CLONE....Japan WINS!
You can settle for a good-ol' fashioned tentacle rape in the meantime.
Let's get to the MV before this goes on for too long. Simply put: It has to deal with some girl in the future that has some sort of Super Powers to break things and have her eyes glow. Yeah, I guess eyes glowing means SUPER POWERS according to the director and writer. EDGY SHIT RIGHT THERE! Cyclops needs a nemesis. Dani = Blind Loli Jesus FROM THE FUTURE. Everyone is looking for her probably to use her as a weapon or a sex slave....whatever comes first! I'd choose WEAPON! LOL!

Jiyeon chooses sex slave.
Anyways Jiyeon and her gangbang find Dani, kill Hyomin (But not really cause Hyomin has top tier Plot Armor), and start to use Dani as a weapon of destruction---I think. There are some male leads in this  but seriously who gives a flying shit about them--they are useless.

SHE'S ACTUALLY ON A BONDAGE WHEEL. But with an astronaut helmet, wtf.
Let's talk acting and I'll wrap this shit up. Jiyeon is mad sexy in this video. I don't know what's going on with me but recently I have been finding Jiyeon hot and I am (inb4 she needs sunglasses to cover her eye) loving her ass! So pretty much her acting is awful and she does not look tough at all but it's kind of ok because at least she's nice to look at and the camera gives us a few shots of those delicious legs/booty. I wonder if she dyed her pubes blonde too...don't you!?

Hyomin wasn't bad but she wasn't good either. She was horrible with the sword katana (And the crossbow.) and did not feel intimidating at all. At least Jiyeon's bubblegum chewing in cry cry look a tad more menacing. What more do you want me to say other than, "Hyomin is a hot horse but her acting is shit and she deserves to commit seppuku with her sword for failing to make me care about her character!" Overall the song failed (inb4 rip off of Smooth Criminal) and the MV was mind numbingly atrocious. I watched it 3 times and each time I was bored and felt TROLLED. NEVER AGAIN!

Do you know why Hyomin is bad with a sword? Take a look at her body.
Hyomin can't shoot for shit either.
Well that's it but before I go enjoy some HYOMIN ORGASM PICS/GIFS from the MV


Onto the songs themselves. Day By Day is alright. Yes, it's sampled from some Britney song. Anyway, Day By Day fits with the MV. The flute gives off an RPG vibe (though personally I think it's more of a medieval kind of feel), and the video reminds me of Star Ocean 3. It's supposed to be all high tech and shit, but it's spent in a backwater planet where they're using swords and crossbows. Jiyeon's eye lasers must have destroyed modern weaponry.

On the other hand, Don't Leave, the other song in the MV, outshines Day By Day. It reminds me of some of their older songs from 2009 and 2010. Hwayoung's rap is surprisingly good, and the buildup to and during her bits are actually quite unf.

Oh, I don't know if it's just me, but I didn't notice Areum singing at all. Maybe because Jiyeon used some hypnotic spell with her eye lasers or some shit, but I was more focused on her legs and ass than listening to the songs. 

Anyway, I give the MV a 4/5 not because it's good, but because it reminded me of one of those low budget Sci Fi movies that I watch to laugh at it. It entertained me, but for the wrong reasons. 

I give the MV itself a 3 out of 5. The concept is solid, but the plot makes hardly any sense at all. If T-ara could actually get a coherent plot going with their MVs, people wouldn't bitch so much about the 15+ minute MVs. But since this is broke-as-fuck CCM we're talking about, they're stuck hiring "artistic" directors (read: art school dropouts) to make their shit. The whole thing just feels really cheesy. Maybe it's the costumes or the hair colors, but everything feels rather garish instead of gritty and grimdark like a true post-apocalyptic setting would suggest.

DBD the song gets a 3/5 from me and Don't Leave gets a 4/5. 

I give Day by Day a 3 out of 5, and Don't Leave a 4.25 out of 5. I really enjoyed Don't Leave.


  1. jjangbang. knew u bitches would make a gif on that bj scene ;) pedo otp? horse-giraffe interracial otp

    groundbreaking threeway orgy article indeed

  2. 떠나지마 definitely sounds like their early days which I have missed so dearly. So glad they had that awesome song. Also, the track sounds so much like a Wildarms OST LOL, I love the OST in Wildarms!!!! Soyeon's voice sounds great in this song, Hwa's rapping was good, she got better.

    I actually love the entire album, there isnt a bad song per say, more like average such as Holiday. Day by Day, I like the track, the way Hwa raps in it gives me and orgasm...
    Hue is an alright song, I find myself nodding and tapping my feet to the track, its a good upbeat song. 사랑놀이 (Game of love, Love Game???) is another song that reminds me of their AFA album.

    So glad to see a screencap of Hyomin and Dani in the backseat lol She isnt a Tia, but thats lolipower for you.

  3. Hyomin's acting is as weak as her feeble legs. The sword is probably heavier than her, which would explain why she didn't look so convincing using it. Gotta admit though, her orgasmic scenes are hilarious... But I'm sure KKS gave her enough practice in that department.

    1. SHUDDUP!
      Hyorse is married with Sunny and will never cheat on her!
      SunByung 5evar!

    2. sorry brah that was my fault i told her that we shouldnt play with ropes the day she had to film this shitty mv. but she insisted, KKS wishes he was doing hyomin

  4. Why do these bitches always make such long rasclot videos that don't make any bumboclot sense? I'm sorry T-Error I can only give you 2:25 minutes of my time.

    On the plus side I really really like their outfits. No one does badass bitch like Jiyeon and I would totally trib with Hyomin.

  5. Hah! I could have distinguished between you three without no damn colors. Ego inflates

    On a related note, apparently Ryan found in-ear T-ara headphones in Korea.
    I was thinking they could be in-other places, too.

    Asshole. I'm talking about my asshole. Gusta.

    1. http://i47.tinypic.com/2vmjcpj.jpg

    2. Once, David and I did an article together.


      We were doing joined articles before it became mainstream.

  6. What Britney Spears song this is sample off of?

    1. It sounds like Britney's 'Criminal'.

    2. Sounds like a bad version of Triangle Brown Eyed Girls song.

  7. 3/5 for moi. Don't Leave and Holiday get a 4/5 each.

    Though I felt trolled like fuck when watching the MV though. Goddamn you Dani. Hyomin, shame on you. First you like blobfish and now minors.

    I am baffled.

  8. Apparently a horse is more powerful than a cyclops @ 13:29. I'll have to remember that!

  9. Don't Leave is definitely one beat away from sounding exactly TTL.

    But I'm not complaining. SOOO good.

  10. Dani's lips have that iffy shape that makes girls look like they have moustaches. Hating Hyomin and Jiyeon's new hair colours too. Plot looks confusing as hell, but at least they look good despite the horrible hair colours.

  11. Dani is supposed to be blind? Wtf?

  12. Apparently Jiyeon's siblings are the mascots for the 2012 London Olympics. Don't believe me? Here it is

  13. Meh I thought don't leave was boring as fuck. Doesn't hold a candle to falling u.

    1. almost nothing really holds a candle to fallin u, its one of their best songs, actually one of kpoop best songs ever.

  14. I also noticed Jiyeon's body :D

    She must be really fertile these days.

  15. I'm not a big fan of Eunjung, but I know many of you are. I was watching a T-ara reality show and found something you guys might like. If you ever wanted to hear Eunjung have an orgasm, click the link below and skip to 30:22. http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xp89wu_diadem-subs-t-ara-dot-com-ep-03-10-03-03-ver-2_shortfilms

  16. They stabbed Hyomin in her ovaries. Well it's what she gets for being so utterly terrible with that sword. Her death scene was hott though...

    And am I the only one that finds this kinda creepy? http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m6kjeydYiy1rqkcnmo1_500.gif

    She can't have Sunny Bunny so she resorts to bestiality.

    1. a horse fucking a rabbit....thats a great image.

  17. God, CCM needs to stop making "story MVs" right at this moment.

  18. 3/5 for me too. The reason Hyomin missed with her crossbow was that Dani sensed the dove and pushed Hyomin's crossbow off-target with her powers. Hyomin was *atrocious* in the combat scenes - I've taken stage combat classes for my theatre major and seeing her just made me wince.

    Also - why didn't Dani attempt to use her powers when Jiyeon kidnapped her? She just flailed and screamed and generally acted like a weak little weakling.

    1. I agree 100%. If Dani can smash glass by looking at it, why can't she smash Jiyeon's face?

  19. homg dat uncle fan gif

    I have renewed the faith

  20. About how Dani keeps looking at stuff:

    I actually originally thought her powers were that she could see stuff even though she was blind. For real.