Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Fans Install CCTV for Yoochun, Completely Misunderstood

In the latest bout of sensationalist and skewed reporting to emerge from Korean forums, JYJ stans have once again been portrayed in an entirely unfair and negative light.

Constantly hounded by sasaengs, JYJ have been making headlines as the victims of these fangirls' obsessive pursuit of an insider view of their oppas. Taking matters into their own hands, the true fans of JYJ decided to step up and do something about the sasaengs' insanity. Thus, these stans recently installed a CCTV system in Yoochun's parking lot in order to protect him from the deranged crazies.

They're just watching his six for him.
Unfortunately, their efforts were ultimately misunderstood by the media. Jealous and bitter that the "true fans" managed to take action against them, the sasaengs quickly made and spread unsavory posts in order to slander their efforts as part of an elaborate scheme for revenge.

The president of the local fanclub chapter issued a press statement to address the issue.

"We, the true fans of JYJ, only did it to protect our oppa from the clutches of the sasaengs," she stated, requesting to stay anonymous. "They go too far in their obsession. I mean sure, I can't really blame them for wanting to root through their trash cans for stuff like used condoms. Anyone would do the same. 

"But breaking in to kiss oppa on the lips while he's asleep? That's a little much."

But how does it work? The JYJ stans worked out a system based on the CCTVs that serve as a deterrent for sasaeng advances. They rotate in shifts to very very very closely monitor and examine the CCTV footage from within nearby listening stations set up inside passenger vans parked in Yoochun's lot. Lying in wait inside the disguised vans in order to fool the sasaengs, they then wait until a sasaeng is spotted. Once detected, the stans then rush out of the vans to chase the sasaengs away before they have a chance to harass Yoochun.

Their efforts do seem to be working though, as Yoochun has reported a noticeable decrease in the number of sasaengs who follow him back to his house.

"It's great what my fans have done for me, what with installing that CCTV for me," he said. "I've been meaning to do it for a while now, but they must have read my mind or something and beat me to it. They even put in a fairly expensive one too. 

"Best of all, the surveillance systems are doing the trick. Most of the girls who follow me home seem to have disappeared. I can finally do whatever I want without worrying about creepy girls in my windows!"

"I can't wait to masturbate in the privacy and comfort of my own home again!" 
"The only weird thing is that I noticed an increase in these weird passenger vans sitting in my parking lot. And there's this lingering fishy smell that won't seem to go away. I dunno what's going on, but I'd trade the sasaengs for that tuna stank any day."

Hopefully, the other major fanclubs will catch onto the success of the CCTVs on repelling sasaengs and help create a safer environment for KPop stars and stans alike to enjoy the Hallyu Wave!


  1. ROFL this is epic. For once, Cassies have actually done something that makes a lot of sense, even though they seem to be acting like the sasaengs themselves, monitoring JYJ and all.

  2. I wonder if these 3 bishes bring home a lot of girls. Saesangs will most def install a CCTV into their room and release a sex/fap tape. But there already is. Google 'Mickey Yoochun Korean idol" and click on the tube8 and enjoy!

    1. 1) ...or they want to prove the Yunjae myth by catching them in action
      2) GURL, Y R U ON TUBE8?
      3) there's no result for "Mickey Yoochun Korean idol" unless it's in the Gay category?

  3. Oh yeah,I'd definitely jump into someone's trashcan to look for used condoms.All of us fans would,right?
    Are they going to try and get pregnant from them or something? o_O

  4. Ah so he thanks fans for the surveillence to stop sasaeng fans from stocking. Yet he is still being closely watched? What a dumbass.

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  6. This is seriously like some tv drama stuff right here.
    I just can't believe that actual people are doing this. Who the fuck comes up with these ideas?

    I seriously want one of these idols to just tell these so called "fans" all about themselves. Make them feel soo stupid and show them that all this "love" they have for oppa juat pisses him off and that they need to go buy a couple of dildos and get a life.

    I can't imagine having ot go through shit like this and then having ot suck it up and act ok with it.