Friday, May 2, 2014

Fanfic Fridays: Hopeless

It's Maaaaay~
And you know what that means! LESBIAN FANFICTION.

You see the official flower of May is the Lily of the Valley.
Lily is Yuri in Japanese.
Yuri is slang for Lesbian.


With that mess out of the way let me explain what's going to happen.

For the month of May, I will only review fanfictions with girlxgirl. Do not try to suggest any to me as they have all been pre-picked. Also, my birthday is in the middle of May, so all of the characters I chose for this month are k-pop girls that I personally enjoy.

So let's start this off with a fanfic called “Hopeless” featuring the lovely Eunjung. I really like Eunjung and a yuri pairing of her with the Cyclops sounds amazing. How do you mess this up?

Oh fuck me.

I am apparently absolute shit at picking stories as this one was yet another crime against the English language.
There's so much misspelling and tense errors that it makes my head hurt. The “Make Readable” button solves nothing! Why is it even there? Is it taunting me?

NO... This was too much. It's only the second paragraph.



Noooo no no NO no nnnnnnoooooooooooooooooooo.

This is one of the fics that I demand everyone to try and read if only to see how far they make it before they call upon Kali to release her wrath on the heathens.

Make a drinking game out of it.

Take a shot of vodka every time a word is misspelt or used wrongly. Write a suicide note in advance explaining your inevitable alcohol poisoning, that it was all in sacrifice to k-pop. Tell your grief stricken family to go on a worldwide manhunt for the author and film them being tortured, exploitation style. Remind them to distribute it, blackmailing all future fanfiction writers of the ultimate situation if they continue this assault on humanity.

Do it for me.
Do it for The Duchess.
Your sacrifice will not be in vain.


  1. Or you could do what most fanfic readers do and Ctrl+F "sex" or whatever. I really enjoyed the gifs and drawings!

    1. There was no smut in this fic. I was so upset.
      Unlike the other one where at least we had Slutoria, this had nothing.

      This did not have any right to exist.
      Avenge me...

  2. i cant breathe those drawings are genius

  3. "...the older girl look at her with a shock expression." Was she shocked at Eunjung's embarrassing attempt to string together a sentence, or is the writer just incredibly stupid?

  4. There's going to be like nothing really to talk about in May as far as Kpop is concerned. Other than girls crying about people dying so they can't hear their oppar's deep totally jjangbak voice. I'm just wondering when the Cyclops is going to debut and slay us all and leave all the antis among the carnage. Or maybe the song will suck, ~boop~.

    1. There will be some things happening from mid-May to the end of May, before things die down again for the World Cup in June. So July is probably the pessimistic view of when we'll finally get to see the Cyclops Overlord's MV.

    2. Fuck the solos, make it a Hyomin Jiyeon duo and have them just scissoring on stage for 3minutes. "Never Ever (gonna stop scissoring you)"

  5. And somehow the cyclops transformed and became older than Eunjung ... (>_>)

  6. Confusing with decapitations? Did sulli_fag write it?

  7. If there's not a Nine Muses smut fic review this month I'm going to be sad.