Sunday, May 18, 2014

WYMBFOS: Ways You Might Be Full Of Shit - Vol1

One day, some time ago, I was assaulted with the stupidity and hypocrisy of fangirls from all angles. Many thoughts came to me and I considered making a bitch-out-to-end-all-bitch-outs... but I got the flu the worst in 12 years so I was too fucking tired to write it all. Afterwards, I was too lazy, and saw that our new authors were making people read too much as it is, so I didn't write it.

HOWEVER, I just had an idea to turn it into a series. Perhaps some portions will be longer, and perhaps some will be shorter, but they will focus on people who think they are better than others and how full of shit they are. So without further ado...



Hey, guess what? Idols aren't your BFFs. They don't have to be real with you, especially if being real with you means being real with everyone at once, which means getting shit from everyone at once, including their bosses, with whom they have contractual obligations about public demeanor.

To people who think like this: Are you always your 100% genuine self at work? Do you tell every customer just what you think and show just how you feel every day? No, you fucking do not, or if you do, you won't keep any job for very long. And if you're a little shit who hasn't had to work a day in their life yet, I bet you do pretty well to shut the fuck up and fall in line at school.

The fact is, we mostly only share the deeper part of ourselves with our friends. Even people who seem to "keep it real" like cynical rockers or Jennifer Lawrence are really just sharing their social critiques most of the time. There is plenty to them that you'll never know. And with what we do get, we admire those traits not because they are expected, but because they are rare to see.

For most people, it's hard to carve out an identity as someone who tells it like it is and not become overly resented for it, with even malicious resentment that ends up harming our relationships and opportunities. And even if one were to do so, not everyone has interesting insights to make it worth it. A lot of the shit we might want to be honest about is probably petty garbage, or even our own personal malicious resentment that would hurt someone else.

So in order to keep some kind of social order, we play nice. We put on a face. And you know the funny thing? A whole hell of a lot of people find that fake face sinking in and changing who they are, and not to being fake, but to being a genuinely more gracious person. You young little shits out there may not get it now, but you will in time. Most of the shit you want to "keep it real" about is stuff you can let slide, or not even think about at all while you focus on stuff that is beneficial.

For most idols, they probably live in nonstop shitty circumstances. Not just from being exploited and overworked by their agencies, but from unending criticism and negativity from all sides. Even fan support can be overwhelming, holding them in such a high view, even worshiping them as deity, which is only true of a select few such as Our Blessed Cyclops. So if they wanted to "be real" with their circumstances and all the things thrown at them, it could be a truly excessive weight, more than would be useful to grow as a person.

I mean, think about it. For you, keepin it real means being true with what is thrown at you, doesn't it? And it is a hard thing to do, with plenty of ups and downs and a lot to think hard about and emotionally work through. But most of the people in your life either don't give enough of a shit about you to throw anything at you, or care about you too much and hold back what would hurt you. Well what if everyone even remotely aware of you all had to toss in their 2 cents? You'd be buried alive, and that is how it is for idols, and they don't even have a spare hour in their schedule to devote to dealing with it.

So idols have to sift through all the shit by NOT sifting through it. Instead they need a filter for what even reaches the real them, to make their world smaller and manageable, to listen and think and share and grow at a singe-human pace. In light of that selectivity, who do you think is going to witness it? Whose words will be received, and who will receive the truest words? Not you. Maybe not even members of their own group, depending on the particular relational/business dynamics.

So if you are so against being two-faced and fake, spend a little time thinking about how you REALLY keep it real with the balance of our demanding society, your responsibilities, your fleeting emotions, your personal growth, and your given amount of free time. You keep it real when and where you can handle keepin it real, and it's a lot fucking easier to do that as an anon on the internet than at your job, and you probably aren't under international scrutiny and contracted for 5+ years.

19 comments:

  1. I think this'll just fall on deaf ears, because this type of fan has a worldview of about 5 blocks outside of their own home and thinks idols/celebrities exist only for them.

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  2. the exo scandal brought out the best example of hypocrisy. when all members gang up and publicly express their anger towards one members actions of betraying the group or a lack of determination if you will, they get called human being. When a certain girl group does the same thing they turn out to be bullies who need to be more professional on social media.

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    1. 5-ara were the ones who instigated their problem by making personal differences public. kris is the one who's walking out on his contract & the investment in him and undermining others' careers.

      i don't see where there's any hypocrisy, the blame is rightly apportioned in both cases

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    3. "kris is the one who's walking out on his contract & the investment in him and undermining others' careers"

      This shows exactly the hypocrisy mikeycknowsrnb is talking about. Your comment can be reversed and it would just make as much sense.

      "The remaining 11 of Exo do not respect Kris's decision and chose to make their resentment towards him public. Hwayoung was the one undermining 6-ara's careers by not being a team player and refusing to perform at their concert."

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    4. K-pop is a business. all these groups are put together to make money one day. asking people to respect someone's decision to fuck over your business is one of the stupidest things i've heard.

      hwayoung's determination has nothing to do with it. the fault was people choosing to air their dirty linen in public. the parties involved have publicly agreed on that.

      there's barely any correlation between the two situations other than being K-pop groups having a member leave on hostile terms. if anyone's placing the blame in the wrong direction then their major issue is selective bias and stupidity, not hypocrisy.

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  3. But no one has "proofs" of Kris being bullied and his lawsuit doesn't include bullying from the members but mistreat from SME
    And for Tara case there were pics and vids... I mean if it were bullying we would already known it

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    1. those pictures and videos proved nothing. why didn't someone point out hwayoung was being bullied before the scandal if it really was t-ara being assholes and not a complex situation coloured by hindsight

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    2. The T-ara "proofs" were all fabrication by (actual) bullies. http://hyotheleader.tumblr.com/post/30319546274/rumor-vs-fact-t-ara-bullying-case-full-compilation

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  4. i'm a little surprised that i'm so surprised that people take celebrity worship to such an insane level that they consider what kris did a personal betrayal to them

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  5. Aside from all the comments about Kris, I would like to point out the whole two-faced thing.
    when I hear others talk about two-faced people its always something negative. I don't understand those who take it as not being your 100% real self is being a two-face. And this article Ahjusshi did really breaks it down for you. I think we all have our limit on how far we can go with showing our "true-selves". Just because you are not this way to EVERYONE doesn't exactly make you a two-faced bitch. you cant be that way for the sake of social balance.

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    1. I myself was under the impression that being two faced specifically refers to someone who acts like your friend but talks shit about you and is moreso an enemy behind your back.

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  6. Sometimes I just wish the workplace period would allow people to be themselves.

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  7. "...saw that our new authors were making people read too much as it is", yes yes, guilty as charged. Going to add more text right now to my next post just for you.

    I agree with this post though. Everybody is two-faced, it's human nature and a requirement for a functioning society. It's good to express how you feel honestly but if everyone expressed how they really felt about everything at all times then nothing else would ever get done because everyone would be running around constantly being emo all the time and you'd need a dystopian reigime like in that film Equilibrium to balance it out..

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  8. Shit. This post managed to be refreshingly frank, incisively illuminating of human nature AND heartwarming at the same time. Well played sir.

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  9. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=09VXUGeMRmE

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  10. exceptions reinforce rules: as a rule, princesses (and, even more so, princess wannabees aka fangirls) have a hard time making sense of (complex) concepts/things ... like "entertainment industry".

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