Sunday, October 4, 2015

The Only 'Slow Songs' I Actually Like

I'm not exactly the type of person who enjoys listening to ballads or R&B or that kinda bullshit (except for when I feel like falling asleep, anyway), but of course, there can be a few exceptions to that fact. Now, I'm not really sure what qualifies as a "slow song," but the definition I'm going by here is that it's simply ... not too fast ... or something.

It's worth noting that I don't listen to ballads that much (I usually just listen to them as a last resort when there isn't any new good music), so if I don't mention any of your favorites, I really don't give a crap, but you can go ahead and mention them in the comments below.

Anyway, here's the list.

Yay! Time to be all depressed and shit.

8. 2NE1 - "Come back Home (Unplugged Version)"

I actually really liked the direction "Come Back Home" was going with the whole reggae beat thing, well, until that extremely lame dubstep breakdown and the Dara-begging-you-to-squirt-at-her happened, anyway. That's why I like the unplugged version better. I liked that the song didn't have any high notes, so there was no room for Park Bom's signature vocal fapping. That, alone, deserves some credit. The reason this didn't rank higher on the list is because of the random, awkward, out-of-place rap break, but apart from that, the song is pretty listenable, or at least much more so than the original version.

7. Big Bang - "Let's Not Fall in Love"

My first thoughts when I watched this: "Fuck, GD, stop staring at me like that" and "Fuck, GD, stop smiling like that" and "Fuck, GD, stop crying." Oh, and the song's cool, too. It's potentially one of the best from the "Made Series," right next to "We Like 2 Party" (Yes, I actually liked that song) and "Bae Bae" (Yes, I know I called this song mediocre before, but I eventually started liking it). The whole "Made" thing was a little too overhyped if you ask me, though; the songs in the album aren't all that great. 

6. EXO - "Miracles in December"

Yeah, sorry, but Chen's voice gives me the best eargasm ever. 

5. EXID - "Every Night"

This might as well be EXID's best song, right next to "Up and Down." Though I do believe the LE rap was unnecessary, it didn't really ruin the song, so I'm fine with it. 

4. EXO - "Lady Luck"

I love everything about this song. The sort of weird but nice buildup, the beatbox (or whatever the fuck that is at the beginning), the vocals, even the dubstep breakdown didn't feel awkward or out of place. Not to mention the hilariously failed attempt at trying to sound all sexy and husky, which only makes me love it more (EXO-M did much better at that part, but I just don't like listening to it in Chinese). The song will sound weird as fuck to you the first few times, but you'll eventually grow to love it.

Also, Hyuna needs to learn a thing or two about how to incorporate moans into a song, because this is how you fucking do it.

3. 2NE1 - "Missing You"

A lot of people didn't like this song, but I'm gonna have to disagree and say I love it. A lot. Why? Maybe it's the weird bubble sound effects, or the piano, or shit, even Park Bom's vocals. Deal with it.

2. Dia - "Paradise"

Now I know what you're thinking: You probably never heard of this before. But sometimes, it's those unknown songs that are so fucking good. Also if you didn't know, that's the girl with the weird nose from the group Kiss&Cry, which debuted in 2013. 

If that doesn't spark your interest, then I don't know what does. We're talking a possible new contender for the "Worst Nose Job Ever" award. 

1. Red Velvet - "Time Slip"

I don't even know if this counts as a "slow song," but goddamn I fell in love with it the first time I heard it. I especially love it because the lyrics literally describe my life since I'm a self-proclaimed lazy fuck, and this song's all about being a lazy fuck. Honestly, I only listened to two of SM's albums this year, EXO's and Red Velvet's, and I sure as hell am not disappointed with either. Keep up the good work, SM! Now you should probably give all your songwriters a raise and fire all your stylists. 

So yeah, that was my list. Instead of wrapping this up with another awkward outro, here's something to ponder — how the fuck does Daesung see with all that hair covering his eyes? I mean, damn, I respect his dedication to style and all, but fucking up your eyesight just to look fabulous might be a step too far. Look at the picture below. His visibility isn't being interrupted by his hair, but he still looks damn fine if you ask me.



  1. Is it just me, or is the beginning of Time Slip literally Fancy by Iggy Azalea

    1. Definitely not just you. That's the first thing I noticed.

  2. "The Beautiful Goodbye" by f(x) is one of my personal favourite k-pop songs. Such a powerful chorus!

  3. don't know why, but i really like Raina/OC's love does not wait

  4. Every Night is such a classic song.

    1. Let's hope EXID's comeback in Nov is a hybrid of Every Night and Up and Down.

  5. Stellar's mask is an underrated slow song. One of my faves

  6. Stellar's mask is an underrated slow song. One of my faves

  7. F-ve dolls - Can you love me
    Red Velvet - Time slip
    J-min - Hoo (dat guitar, man, dat guitarrr!)

  8. I like EXO-M's Angel, Boyfriend's Alarm, T-ara's Calender, and SPEED'S Rose and Baby You for sleeping.

  9. These are my favourite pop ballads:

  10. I like so long by apink and it's their only song i can actually stand. I like 2ne1's good to you, bts's just one day, exo's angel and k.will's plese don't.

  11. I originally had a list to help you broaden your horizon, but I've cut it down because it was like 15 songs and that's just rude.
    BTS's Tomorrow & Let Me Know - are generally my top slower songs, but these are followed by Eyes Nose Lips (Tablo's Cover), Fantastic Baby (Wendy of RV cover), Painkiller (T-Ara, 5Dolls, The SeeYa & Speed), & Congratulations (Day6 - JYPS new boy band).
    Enjoy the slower times in life, aka when you need background music that isn't distracting, have some stuff ready.