Wednesday, June 29, 2016

Taeyeon - Why


^ SEE THE CAPTURE IN THE MV?! TAEYEON WANTS YOUR CREAM! SHE WANTS YOU TO FREEZE IT UP SO SHE CAN SUCK ON YOUR SEMEN!

After coming clean with her criminal life in New Zealand by stealing her boss's car, Taeyeon, the Kid Leader of the Hateful Eight, is experiencing the teenage years she never had in SM's dungeon as she unleashes her inner delinquent.

The MV starts up with Taeyeon in the desert-windfarm. I guess you have to make a desert useful somehow. Is the MV telling me that Taeyeon is so hot that she radiates enough heat energy to power the windmills in the desert? That must be so if she has to jump in a pool.

CONFIRMED: Taeyeon's hotness is the cause of global warming.

SOLUTION: Keep Taeyeon to minimum clothing and keep her in pools.

JESSICA'S SOLUTION: Kill the bitch.

After getting out of the pool, Taeyeon has the scribble on someone's art that he or she drew on the house. Taeyeon even takes a picture of her work. What a bitch!

Taeyeon's now at the docks (I had a typo that spelled 'dicks' -- should have kept it in -- that's what she said!) scheming a way to steal a boat. As she couldn't easily steal a boat, she decided to terrorize people on the street with ketchup and mustard. What does Taeyeon have against white people?

CONFIRMED: Taeyeon really is a racist!

Taeyeon starts appropriating white skater culture (after being racist to white people in two MVs now!). Naturally, she sucks.

Taeyeon then starts playing with bubbles in a pool. The foamy bubble are getting all over the place. In short, this is imagery that Taeyeon wants you to spill your foamy load all over her.

--

Onto the song, Taeyeon knocks it out of the park yet again. The only knock I can give to the song is that it takes too long to kick into high gear. It's at the one minute mark before the song displays all of its glory, but that's over a quarter of the song. Once the song does get good, the catchy chorus and the catchy EDM beat carries the song. I even listened to the song on repeat yesterday at work while grinding through some research.

#TAEXITfromSNSD

19 comments:

  1. I want off SM's EDM/House ride. I do like Why but I think SM made her do it to try and sell their recent style changes to the public (pretty much every other SM song this year besides Monster has done poorly on the charts). For me I felt much more like something Taeyeon loved to sing. It's funny that I complain because this genre is one of my favourites musically but all the SM releases are starting to blend together.

    I feel that Luna/Boa's voices suit this genre more than Taeyeon. At any rate I thought Free Somebody and No Matter What were better songs. Heck I think I Just Wanna Dance is about the same level as Why as well.

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    1. Well I heard Why debuted at no. 2 on melon chart so that just confirms that Koreans are biased as shit because Free Somebody was a far better song.

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    2. SM artists do poorly on the charts but make up for it in physical sales.

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    3. Luna sold fuck all for her solo album. And yea SM traditionally has shit digitals but Taeyeon's first album did very well on the charts. I think part of the main reason SM started Station this year was to try and improve their digitals.

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    4. f(x) is an individual member fandom first and foremost. Luna and Amber don't have many fans, which is why their solo efforts go mostly ignored. f(x) probably has the most fractured fandom in Kpop.

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  2. At least they didn't give her blue contacts this time.

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  3. I would gladly submit to her racially abusing me as her whiteboy.

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    1. I always thought you were Asian.

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    2. I got a BA in Japanese studies, but nope. lol

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  4. I interpreted the video as deep introspection, she is asking herself why, why does she have to end up murdering and burying hot men in Las Vegas. Why couldn't she suck his dick a little bit more. Why do all mornings wake up with blood splatter on the walls, etc.

    Still would do her.

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    1. Truly, she's the Dexter Morgan of K-pop.

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  5. all of her singles going to rhyme? whats the next single, thigh? try? sigh?

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    1. It's Die she a f@&king axe murderer , look carefully first New Zealand easiest place in the world to hide a body no one is looking for you. Then at her bud's Norman Bates motel , nice secluded location plenty of space and easy to dig Large holes without being interrupted.
      Still she looks hot. Songs good as well.

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    2. Why the fuck would you censor "fucking"? What's wrong with you?

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    3. To arouse disapproval of all and sundry or just the swearing police.
      As for what!s wrong with me I!d say a whole f$%king lot, try it its F%#king great.

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    4. Cursing goes in cycles. First it's edgy to swear, then it becomes edgy not to.

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    5. @ShaneR; You sound like a 14 y'old.

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    6. I'd opt for 14 year old joints and connective tissue over old shot knees any time? I so want to bust out some JPY moves at the Retirement Home. It's tapioca again tonight, where is Sulli when you need someone to glug down a ton of sticky goo .

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  6. Jacket with the Statue of Liberty on the back and an American flag top....Taeyeon has defected to the US and is now a spy.

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