Wednesday, December 5, 2012

I worry that maybe my makeup-less face and my plain clothing might be harmful to Hyori’s image.”--Aeri Lee

I'm sure you probably read about this (or probably don't really give a shit about it at all) but Lee Hyori's sister Aeri Lee was recently interviewed by some Korean news station. I know what you're thinking:I would never have guessed some Korean news organization would ever interview someone who is Korean?....Holy Fuck. Or should I say...HYORI FUCK!


"Some men ask me how I look when I speak with them on the phone I say: You ever hear of Lee Hyori....think the opposite of that in looks....and old"--December 4, 2012


Aeri was interviewed looking like complete shit this week. When asked about her looks in comparison to her famous and fap worthy (in 2007 amirite!?!?) sister she stated: I worry that maybe my makeup-less face and my plain clothing might be harmful to Hyori’s image. In other words, she feels like her face (and mostly likely body) will create negative publicity for her sister. All I can say is: Ummmmm, you think?

Aeri, listen to me. No man is going to want to smell your butthole if you look like shit. We may like assholes, but dammit we hate the SMELL of shit and women who look like shit. True story: I was once at a strip club and some stripper was shoving her ass in my face--as much as I wanted to like her ass being rammed down my nose. I couldn't help but noticed the immensly strong odor of SHIT emitting from it. I swear it was the worst lap dance ever. Every time her butthole came close to my face---SHIT SMELL CITY!

As for you Aeri, here are some tips you and every single female reader of AKF can follow to make you not EMBARRASS your sister (or friends) with your horrible looks

1) Put some fucking makeup on---it works for Hyosung.
Prepare to fuck at night...throw off bed and scream in the morning

 2) Dye your hair... Look like a kpop slut and just go blonde or some other color that isn't black.
look at these sluts being sluts and dying their hair. Bet those pubes are still black though. How many of you think Uee shaves down there? Her vag probably looks like Jabba the hut threw up and made a baby. Would you fuck that baby? Also, that bitch from Orange Caramel---I would so Orange Caramel all over her face and underarms....if you know what I mean.

3) Distract the fact that your face is ugly by working out and getting a nice body. Also, hot legs are a plus! Example: HYORIN. Bitch has a fabbbbbulous body! Damn, I swear I'd lick a dolphins nads just to rub my dick all over her legs. How does a person fuck legs anyway? hmmm. The only thing I can think of is to stick your dick behind her knee and have her bend the legs (lower and upper) around your dick so it's like a sandwich. Then you can feel free to fuck it basically. Probably get lube so you don't rub so much on her leg that it causes burns on the dick or leg. SANDWICH FUCKING? Did I just create a new phrase. "I soooo want to sandwich fuck Hyorin." "Yo dawg, I just sandwich fucked my babysitter." "Hey, I'd love to sandwich fuck that girl next door...shit she's 11...thought she was 31."

Hyorin is fine as fuck...legs of a goddess face of a walrus.
4) Purchase an animal to distract from the fact that you are aging. It works for other celebrities. Not saying who though.

 

ok Aeri. Follow these 4 rules and you'll be A-ok. 


One more thing: Learn to tie men up with that yarn behind you. Pretty much any man that looks at your face will run away in terror---best you just strap them to a chair and start chomping on their balls.


God Bless--2012

 

26 comments:

  1. i dont bout you but that makeup-less pic of hyosung looks cute man, i had have that pic as my phone wallpaper for almost a full year now
    ..or m i slowly crossing toward the delusional-side

    ("= _=)

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    1. Nah, she looks fine. Much better'n this anyway, http://tinyurl.com/bl4ennt

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    2. that makeup-less pic of her is pretty cute, id prefer that over her dolled up version, id even let her touch my penis.

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  2. MAHAHAHA OH GOD. AKFG has been sooo falling flat for the past months with too much focus on over-nitpicky articles talking on issues not really new to girlfandom. This is an outlier, sulli. U da best <3 i'm giggling like a bitch

    AFSC Red arent sluts mmkay! Plus, Raina came to my mind when you mentioned OC.
    Hyorin looks fab (face n bod) on that jpeg okay plus Hara (????). hyuna looks like an emaciated prostitute straight from the horn of africa

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    1. Pinoy-i mean nigger pls...Bom has a way better body. Hyena looks like a pregnant trailer trash with that hair

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    2. Yeah, I miss The Cheat, what a guy!

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    3. Can someone fill me in? How did this topic suddenly become about bom?

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  3. This article was usually offbeat and enjoyable this time, but maybe I'm going crazy from a lack of sleep.

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    1. omg mte!!! me too oppar! 3 hes of sleep 4 days straight

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  4. Ahh this post made me laugh even though I'm a big fan of Afterschool

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  5. Good to know I'm not the only one who thinks Hyorin is ugly..

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  6. Great post.

    No matter how ugly you are, somewhere, there's a person willing to take a dump on your chest. Stay confident.

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  7. i rather remain ugly, thank you!

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  8. korea needs to get their fucking head out of hyori's pussy i really don't get why so many idols and even the media still respect her...half of her discography is tainted she's DAMAGED GOODS

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  9. She isn't even that hideous, she just looks like a sad sack.

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  10. No lie was talking about a Japanese sushi restaurant in my area with another student at my college. Who also used to be a k-pop fan. I ask him if the food was good and that he knew who own place, he replied it must be own by Koreans because when i walked in all the girls looks way to pretty to be Japanese."

    i couldn't stop laughing

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    1. Wait "used to be a k-pop fan" how is that possible? Teach me master and free me from my curse!

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  11. "have her bend the legs (lower and upper)"

    y-you cant bend those parts of your legs

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  13. Maybe she should get plastic surgery like her sister...
    http://popseoul.files.wordpress.com/2008/08/20080816-leehyori-leeeunju1.jpg

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  14. I am sure Aeri is passable with make-up on. That just looks like an unflattering picture.

    Aside from her this post is full of bad bitches I would love to trib with.

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  15. I thought this was Hyori without makeup...............

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  16. You cant insult sweet Hyosung anymore. She was in car accident and unlike t-ara skanks the karma was not to blame this time.
    Peace out bitch.

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