Monday, December 10, 2012

[BREAKING] SECRET Involved in Car Accident, Zinger Saves Everyone's Lives

Poor SECRET have gotten themselves into a car accident just over 5 hours ago as of this writing.




As reported, the girls were traveling to Jamshil and the van they were in hit an icy patch and slipped on a curvy road, slamming into the right guard rail and flipped over. All the members were immediately transferred to the emergency room at a nearby hospital. Unlike the previous report that stated Hyosungwas severely injured, it was Zinger who suffered the worst injuries with fractured ribs and a bruised lung. The rest of the members and the manager who was driving suffered light injuries and bruises, and were released from the hospital.
AKF's very own KPop CSI team were on the scene to investigate within minutes of the first reports. After analyzing the wreckage and Zinger's injuries, they've officially confirmed that Zinger (being the whale that she is/was) absorbed most of the impact with her body.

As soon as the car began to lose control, Zinger reacted quickly by removing the stomach staples keeping her fat rolled up. Gathering all of her members and manager into her rolls of blubber, she provided safe refuge from the turbulence and violent flipping of the car. However, because of her recent lipo diet, her majestic heft was but a shadow of its former enormity. She fractured her ribs and bruised a lung where others might have been more seriously injured, but she truly is the heroine of this story.

GOD BLESS ZINGER'S FAT ASS FOR SAVING SECRET'S LIVES.

SARANGHAE 5EVER
UPDATE: Pics of the crash, just so you can see how big of a champ Zinger is.

NO NOT THE POOR ALBUMS

45 comments:

  1. Doesn't look that bad.

    Bit deformation

    Minor discoloration

    Awkward positioning, but forgivable given the situation.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Looking over my post again, the same could be applied to the car accident.

      Delete
  2. Shiiit, that's why I turn into an old lady driver during winter. I don't wanna flip my car!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank god I live in a sweaty humid monkey island

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  3. Maybe Zinger is a bit fat....NOT AS FAT AS YOU!

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  4. RIP in peace, Zinger

    you were the people's Suzy

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  5. the law of conservation of momentum tells us that if Zinger is heavy enough, there is a slightly less amount of them changing velocity as opposed to an emptier car. However, due to snow, and it looks like it was skidding downhill, that will also makes the car run a little faster without losing too much energy...and ultimately, ended up providing a net torque (because not all the weight are concentrated), which eventually flips the car over.

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  6. I love how everyone's reaction is basically HYOSUNG IS OK SWEET OK.
    Poor JingJing. : c

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  7. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  8. I'm usually up for AKF dissing but I find this article rather tacky. Personally, I don't find it funny to make fun of others misfortunes (especially if they've been injured seriously).
    Then again Zinger is the least liked among the SECRET members in AKF so it's not much of a surprise.

    Anyway it's probably just me........ :|

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    Replies
    1. I totally agree with you, as much as I hate someone, I wouldn't make fun of an injured person, I mean I would do so if they are not injured, but she is having some casualties.

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    2. I agree, this was pretty low for them. Lost some respect honestly. I hope Zinger heals quickly :)

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    3. Emotionalists rationalizing. Keep at it, ladies!

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  9. i fucking hope jingo is alright.

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    Replies
    1. Can't blame him. He's mecha afterall

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    2. I vote this as THE worst article on AKF of all time.
      Smh endlessly and no, Zinger's not my bias.
      It's Jieun.

      Delete
  10. why is zingers hand on jieuns right boob

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  11. Yo dawg this would have made sense last year but I think you missed the part where she got fit.

    http://youtu.be/uOPJJRXvQHQ

    Whatup.

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    Replies
    1. DAMN!!!"Mazic" sucks but DAMN!

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    2. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUREAKKKKKK! DAYUMMMMM!! Zinger is FYNE!

      Naw man, naw. You can't call Zinger a whale after all this sexiness.

      Delete
  12. Ok this isn't cool at all.

    The accident. Well, slightly the banter.

    RIP Jinggo's hypothetical tubal ligation...and ribs...and lungs

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  13. Zinger looks much better now though lol.
    In all seriousness, I hope they-re all okay.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Zinger looks much better now though lol.
    In all seriousness, I hope they-re all okay.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Sorry to play moral fag but making fun of someone who broke their ribs (sounds pretty fucking painful) the day of the accident just seems a little low. Arguably this could be considered on the same level as the antis youve made fun of in the past here too.

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  16. Is Zinger was THAT FAT then she shouldn't have had those injuries. Fat is a shock absorber so there should be no injuries right?
    Hateful post.
    Let karma comes to you and I hope your fat saves you!

    ReplyDelete
  17. Okay seriously, wtf is wrong with you? Laughing at people's misfortune. And yes like someone said, this post brings you to the same ugly level of antis you've made fun of. I mean would you like it if your ribs got broken and suddenly people started making up jokes about it ? That is so low tbh. It's not even funny, poor Secret having to go through that. I'm not even their fan but at least show some fucking respect to someone who survived a misfortune that could've led them to death. It's good to know they're still alive. But AKF, seriously this is very low.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 3 words that follow: I agree totally.

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    2. Many many times this site has crossed the line by my (constantly fluctuating) standards.
      I will still follow this site however if there's SUCH another article like this again, it's Goodbye Baby goodbye.
      There IS such a thing as right and wrong, South Park be damned.
      My 2 cents (dimes? nickels?) worth.

      Delete
  18. I like Zinger, I like her rapping and I don't find her annoying. I find the posts about her on this blog humorous and I take them with a grain of salt, but this is one post that made me feel seriously uncomfortable. She broke her rib, man, AND bruised her lung, she didn't do anything to warrant that kind of reaction.
    And she wasn't ever fat.

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  19. I just knew such reactions in the comments section was bound to happen as soon as I read this.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Wow, pretty much kicking someone while they're already down.
    That's pretty low, even for this site.

    ReplyDelete
  21. WOW *_* YOU MUST BE SERIOUSLY INSECURE WITH YOUR OWN BODY, YOU'VE REALLY MADE ME LAUGH WITH YOUR EXTREMLEY SAD LIFE, THANK YOU!!!

    ReplyDelete
  22. WTF is wrong with you people
    She just got into a caraccident and all you can do is bash her?
    Grow up, you dont need to vend your jealousy towards Zinger through the internet
    Go grow a fucking life

    Ps: What goes around comes back around

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't see how jealousy even fits into all this LOL.

      Delete
  23. Zaku only cares and loves T.O.P

    True story.

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  24. one: zakubot is not desperate/fat/whatever. that's possibly the stupidest argument of all time.


    two: car accidents are not funny. a friend of mine died in a similar way. (ps jingo isn't chubbs anymore though she went all anorexic 4 u bitches. i liked her fat ass)

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  25. Not surprised. Their comeback was a major flop. A big fall from "Move" last year. That's why they had to 'pretend' that they were on a car crash and had to postpone activities when in fact they're ending it because of the bad sales.

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    Replies
    1. Yeah that makes total sense. Missing all the appearances and performances they would have had scheduled for promoting their new song and missing out on all the appearance fees they would have gotten as well as the opportunities to promote themselves to keep themselves relevant.

      "Some people on the internet think our new song isn't so great, better swerve the fuck onto a patch of ice and nearly kill Zinger!" That's some genius logic right there. lol.

      Delete
  26. This article is trash. Have you no respect for human life? Don't answer that. I hope you learn how to be a good member of society and care about the wellbeing of others.

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    Replies
    1. Some human lives don't deserve respect at all. Open World Ent's CEO is one of them.

      Delete