Friday, December 28, 2012

Unnecessary subgroups


Cube has gifted the kpop community with a present for which nobody asked: the debut of project group Double Yoon. This subgroup combines Gayoon and Jiyoon and basically is set up to be the K.R.Y. or TaeTiSeo of 4Minute, aka the "singers subgroup."


Huh, that thing around Jiyoon's neck looks kinda like a nipple ...


Gayoon and Jiyoon are the best singers in 4Minute, hands down. I like them, and I like 4Minute. But come on now, nobody pays attention to 4Minute for the music.


You listen to 4Minute for trashy pop or to look at Hyuna or to watch the group's next trainwreck of a stage performance. Listening to 4Minute for the music proves two things: 1. You actually hate music and want it to die a quick-tempoed, off-key death or 2. you're just delusional. 

A 4Minute-derived "singers subgroup" is so unnecessary. For better or for worse, Hyuna is what draws people to 4Minute. Take the whore out of 4Minute, and what do you have? Two decent but unremarkable singers, one of whom offers little in the way of stage presence.




For reference, I've included this photo representation of what
4Minute would look like without Hyuna.


So Yoons, I hope you do well, but it'll take a lot to make me care about your project group. 

Just for fun, here are some made-up subgroups that nobody would want:


SHINSUNG -- the Shindong and Sungmin subgroup of Super Junior



SISTAR 19/20 -- the Dasom and Soyu subgroup of Sistar



YOONYEON -- the Yoona and Hyoyeon subgroup of SNSD



KEYHO -- the Key and Minho subgroup of Shinee




HOT 'n' CRAPPY -- the Nichkhun and Taecyeon subgroup of 2PM

Actually, some people might want this one. But it might be the worst pairing on this list. 
The thought of those two singing alone on stage is enough to make me run out to buy earplugs ...

60 comments:

  1. Seung-Dae: Their routine consists solely of murdering people then spunking on their stomach

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Agreed. One of da best comments on this blog :P

      Delete
    2. No joke, I almost included Seung-Dae. I also thought about a Qri subgroup

      Delete
  2. Fuck, that hair on Shitdong makes me want to punch him in the face with brass knuckles.

    A Taecyeon + Nickhun subgroup would be a fucking nightmare to humanity. Anything with Dara would be a train wreck.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Replies
    1. Please...don't give em any ideas...!!!

      Delete
    2. JESUS NAZI CHRIST DON'T JINX IT

      Delete
    3. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZDlHcDy0T_U
      fap fap fap fap





      *pant pant pant*

      Delete
    4. I'm not the only one that thinks Boram became fapworthy in recent times, right? O__o

      Delete
    5. http://image.blingee.com/images18/content/output/000/000/000/75a/715684047_179943.gif

      Delete
    6. ....I am seriously hoping you are joking scatter.....

      http://i.imgur.com/6qTLZ.jpg

      you just lost your fap card bro

      Delete
    7. She actually was quite decent looking (compared to those Skeletor days) in the 2012 Melon Music Awards though :/, minus the closeup with those damn contact lenses at the time.

      Delete
    8. i'd say she looked better during debut, since she was basically why I got into T-ara weirdly.

      Delete
    9. Lawl, I pretended that she didn't even exist back then.

      She seemingly looked better from the Lovey Dovey era and beyond before Kim Kwang Satan decided to make her look like a concentration camp inmate for the Sexy Love promotions.

      Luckily, she survived through and managed to get a little weight back on.

      Delete
    10. Am I the only one who thinks Boram looks the best when she's superskinny?

      Delete
    11. Probably. Her only saving grace during her superskinny time was all the makeup that made her look somewhat livelier. But as of recent...

      http://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/c0.0.403.403/p403x403/577981_500115476675982_1145983698_n.jpg

      http://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/c100.0.403.403/p403x403/60838_363388673757782_411391680_n.jpg

      http://sphotos-a.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc7/416263_363388613757788_1845251258_o.jpg

      Fap fap fap unf unf unf

      Delete
    12. Borams from waist-up looks good but down below......not so much. Her legs still looks the same from her skinny-stage...creepy and unhealthy.
      http://25.media.tumblr.com/c12830fb3138b958b6c95a04b6e7cce2/tumblr_mfsigfPYWj1qlvs5wo1_500.jpg

      I much prefer some of this sexiness

      http://24.media.tumblr.com/be03d602375c797ab9a384fad9f6fb12/tumblr_mfsidfsQc91qlvs5wo1_500.jpg

      Delete
    13. ^
      from waist up, cool. Down below.....kill it with fire!!!
      Boram sister is much better.

      Delete
    14. Someone needs to force Boram to wear stockings if she's gonna wear a dress :/ Or she could just paint them.

      Delete
  4. I like 4minute for the music.I use their songs as a confidence boosters 90% of the time,and you can say their music is crappy only if you have listened to Mirror Mirror and Muzik or Hot Issue.
    Plus,all of the songs on their last album were FUCKING AWESOME.I never got into the group for HyunAh,I didn't even know she was there when I started listening to them.I loved Jiyoon. *now it's the other way around,but still. xD*
    *hardcore4niaattack*

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I used to like 4minute (or should we say fwhoreminute) because of I, My, Me, Mine where HyunA showcased her best sluttery. My friend and I used to dub her during that era as "the Walking Orgasm" because everything she sounded and looked like was pure debauchery

      Delete
  5. Yeah you kinda have a point. I really do hope that they'll be at least on the same popularity-level as 4Minute, though. They probably won't be but they're my favorites in 4Minute, sooo.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Wow I have to totally disagree with this article, I would listen to Ailee, IU, December, Davichi, etc for some serious music, 4minute has the fun and upbeat part.

    They have got the catchiest songs, 'Volume Up' was a super eargasm, HUH, I My Me Mine, Muzik, Hot issue was good, and Heart to Heart is also a fun song to listen to, the only crappy song they had is probably mirror mirror, even their Japanese songs sound way better than SNSD's or KARA's.

    Sunny Hill, T-ara and 4Minute have the best upbeat songs amongst other girl groups(SNSD too, up until Hoot). Now I sound so much like a massive fanboy, but I do think you only listen to just a few of their songs.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I honestly was asking for double Yoon, because Hyuna is such an awful singer/rapper/what-does-she-even-do-is-she-good-at-like-anything and even if 4minute is up there with RaNia for trashiest group out there, Every time I see articles about Hyuna and how US agencies are interested in her and she's meeting with Scooter Braun and she might sign with Universal and debut I'm just wondering if every single music person in the US is totally ignorant to the fact she isn't technically a soloist, she's in a girl group, and she's more useless than Kesha. (I only liked her in Trouble Maker and two songs on her new mini). Anyway, hopefully this will bring atleast two members of the group that aren't HyunA a bit of attention. Most fans of 4min actually want Double Yoon, I wouldn't call myself a hardcore fan but that entire Chinese fansite shut down and did that fucked up comic where Hyuna is like, I'm not a whore or something and her parents are watching tv or wtf was going on, because Cube was supposed to debut 2Yoon first before a Hyuna comeback. Anyhow, now there's just Jihyun who's not solo or subgroup so I feel sorry for her..
    (This was retardedly long)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know right!! Im a hardcore 4nia but I don't like all the attention Hyuna's getting. I hope 2Yoon becomes successful on their debut<33333

      Delete
  8. Hot n Crappy - lolz but hell no. I don´t know why, but I hate Nichkhun with the power of a thousand suns. That guy has an ugly soul. I´m sure of that.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Its funny because when you take hyuna out of that picture the name of the band becomes "4mute". Spot on.

    ReplyDelete
  10. LOL. Khun and Taec HAVE had a duet together already. And I'm not surprised that you don't know about it =p It's pretty awful. It even has JYP in the middle.

    http://youtu.be/8V6OOEBFsaM?t=1m47s

    Yes, that is my fancam.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Hyuna aggravates the hell out of me. I don't like her voice one bit, but she is pretty. So are a ton of other girls in K-Pop so in the end, she's nothing special at all. Since my most favorite somewhat-subgroup is already existing and kicking ass, I shall be perfectly unbothered by whatever subgroup else this industry might spit out. Always good to be the quiet, lucky fan who get what they want by default :D

    ReplyDelete
  12. Somebody make a joke about "2 minute(s)", I can't come up with something witty enough.

    ReplyDelete
  13. 4Mute is right. And I don't know, I would watch a Nichkhun and Taecyeon video, as long as it was muted.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Dasom-Soyu subgroup sounds like a lot less appealing one versus their predecessor SISTAR19, but I don't think it'd be that horrible as, let's say, YoonYeon or Hot n' Crappy. But I must say KeyHo would surely be the JoKwon duo of K-Pop.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Agreed, Dasom-Soyou group is the less worse of this list. But a Hyorin-Soyou subgroup now that would be an interesting thing to see, they both have great vocals and their voices match well.

      Delete
    2. OMO DrFeelGood!! Deokteo deokteo pil gut come and make me pil gut

      Delete
    3. Well, put on one of those dominatrix outfits and I'll see what I can do.

      Delete
  15. HorseClops duo would be intriguing tho

    ReplyDelete
  16. Hot n' Crappy aka Gay Boy n' Butterface

    I want to see Yoonyeon throw some shit down, just because it would be pure Awkwardness!

    ReplyDelete
  17. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Jiyoon especially and Gayoon are my favorites of 4minute so......HECK YEAH I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS!
    Been waiting for this ever since they announced this a year ago!

    ReplyDelete
  19. "Take the whore out of 4Minute" LOL

    ReplyDelete
  20. Gayoon should be the face of HoeMinute. Bitch looks hella fine.

    ReplyDelete
  21. I don't understand why someone would like 4minute for anything. Everything that you think they "have" somebody has better, whether looks, vocals, compositions, even choreography if you're honestly in to that.
    From songs like "I My Me Mine" and "First" that tries to shove in EDM and Drone influences, and fails, because the producers are stuck, not having to do anything with it, since top 40 listeners are afraid of anything that as as much as casts a soft shadow, to 4minute's dumb lack of identity, beyond "We have a whore in our group".
    They have singlehandedly managed to make House music even dumber with "Heart to Heart", and completely ruining the trance undertones of Mirror Mirror with the pop structure formula and a shoehorned rap to embarrass them all.

    Also their English is sucks. More like "Vuhloome Uhp" derp.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 4Minute is more unique than any other kpop group out there. Even though they're not the best at vocals, choreography, etc., they are the best to me<3

      Delete
  22. 4Minute without Whoreunya = 4Mute?
    How appropriate.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. At least the name would make sense since it would be a group formed by 4 members.

      Delete
    2. It should actually be more like "MuteHyuna" whenever she opens her mouth.

      Delete
    3. Hyena keeps Fwhoreminute alive

      Delete
  23. "Take the whore out of 4Minute, and what do you have?"

    Fminute?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. FauxMinute, FlopMinute, NoMinute... There's so much you could do, it's just too easy.

      Delete
  24. "Also their English is sucks. More like "Vuhloome Uhp" derp. "

    They actually pronounce the "V" which puts them way ahead of literally every other Korean idol.

    I like 4minute IN SPITE OF Hyuna. SUCK ON THAT OP

    ReplyDelete
  25. I was thinking of making an intellectual counter argument, but after reading through the comments to get down to this box I realized that would be a waste of my time. So all I can say is FUCK YEAH! DOUBLE YOON! FINALLY!

    Thank you all for reminding me why I shouldn't read comments on K-pop sites.

    ReplyDelete
  26. That SISTAR 19/20 is actually very fapworthy, esp Soyu. I like that chick a lot :v

    ReplyDelete
  27. I FOR ONE AM EAGERLY WAITING FOR THE 2YOON DEBUT EVEN THOUGH THERE IS A 60% CHANCE IT WILL DISAPPOINT ME.

    PS: Still waiting on GaJi Titty Subunit.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Double Yoon, Sistar19, KRY, and SNSD-TTS are some sub-units that make sense since 90-100% of their group's talent lies within the subgroup.

    A sub-group that is unnecessary is Infinite-H because while Hoya and DongWoon are fine as fuck neither of them can rap for shit and are actually much better vocalists.

    ReplyDelete
  29. I actually like Kesha's music. she's a one trick pony, but As long as she just keeps doing that one trick I'm pretty entertained. I do like the idea of Double Yoon, because I enjoyed SNSD's subgroup TTS ( I pronounce it as tits.) and I also enjoy Double Yoons' Tits and their singing. So I think I'm going\ to enjoy this group very much. thanks for your opinion peeps this is simply mines I'm sharing.

    Oh and another thing I kind of agree with you. that alot of people don't listen to 4minute for the music. They do it for the sex appeal. But Honestly They have too many clothes on for me to enjoy them for their "sexiness" or whatever and they're also pretty average looking at times. Sooo I am one of those odd people that listen to them for the (pop) music.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Those two girls look like bitches trying to pretend that they're friendly and relate-able but they're clearly just bitches. Not even fun bitches.

    ReplyDelete
  31. You like them and you like their music..
    but you still bash them because you don't know a shit about writing a proper article so you just imitate fellow akf-shitters - bash = quality post OMG genius !!11!

    ReplyDelete