Sunday, July 28, 2013

Fix the Video: f(x)'s 'Rum Pum Pum Pum'



f(x)'s 'Rum Pum Pum Pum' has been on repeat for me since it came out. It's my favorite f(x) title track since NU ABO. Though it couldn't reach its full potential because of Amber's forced rapes, I find the song pretty jjangbak. The video, however, is exactly like every other f(x) MV out there. These sluts are the female Super Junior of rehashing their MVs for years on end. Yawn, this shit is putting me to sleep and I don't know if I'll finish my reviewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

How would I fix this snoozefest? I would make it a drama MV instead. However, instead of a normal drama MV where it's a boy-meets-girl story, I would make it a girl-meets-girl story. Under the pretense of trying to fight for LGBT rights in East Asia (where they are basically non-existent), I would cash in on the untapped fanboy market. While most companies focus their efforts on making fangirls worship their oppars as if they were in a cult, I would focus on giving fanboys what they want. I don't care if MOGEF is up my ass over this; row row fight the power.

My Version

I would hire miss A's Fei to be in the MV, and make the MV a lesbian harem MV. Fei would be the pimpstress keeping her hoes in line as they fight for affection.

Chinks be wanting my pussy. 
Sulli would be the first one to attempt to seduce Fei. As Fei sits on her throne, watching her whores make out with each other, with half of them being bonded. Sulli knew she needed to step her game up, so she comes in with a new hairdo and a classic trick to seduce members of the opposite sex, though she doesn't know if it will work on Fei.


Sulli slowly walks up the steps to Fei's throne, bypassing all of the half-naked girls making out with each other. Sulli knew she couldn't compete using nudity, so she tried to use the "oh, did you see my panties?" trick. However, the dance move didn't work on Fei as she got up off from her thrown and started strutting down.

Sulli has some words for Fei.
There was no luck with Luna, Amber, nor Krystal when they tried getting into Fei's pants. Krystal's poor attempt to look like Lightning from FFXIII turned off Fei immediately, as she couldn't scissor anyone who reminded her of that awful game. Luna almost succeeded in getting in Fei's pants, but when Fei was feeling Luna's thighs, Fei made a remark about how she had the legs of an Olympic weight lifter, which made Luna cry, because Luna loves to cry. Amber had zero luck whatsoever. As soon as she entered the room, Fei told her to get the fuck out on grounds of having a penis. Because you know, dick girls are some disturbing shit.

Distraught, it's sexy dance time for Fei to try to lure anyone out.


Then Victoria responds, trying to seduce Fei.



Victoria and Fei make out, leaving every fanboy happy. 

Oh yeah, I know you like that.


Lots of tissues and lotion are used, and enough sperm to fill up any of the Great Lakes was ejaculated.

The end.

Actually, no, it's not the end. The Chinese government kills both of them for being lesbians, since they don't like that shit. Enough angry Chinese fanboys gather together and overthrow the Chinese government, sending China into its 9034589357th civil war.

The end. For real.

Big thanks to comekpop for the f(x) gifs, Google Images/tumblr for the first Fei gif, Feibulous for the second and third gif, and this post for the last Fei gif.

54 comments:

  1. Now this is a music video I can get down with. And no, thank you, glad my gifs could be of service. Also good to see Fei getting some love haha, http://i.minus.com/i6xQ5gcP4udzR.gif

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    1. 'COMEKPOP', wow you Fucking Good ((= I Like your Style (((=

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    2. Sulli appreciates the praise, http://i.minus.com/io6kVMbc8eO6z.gif Thanks.

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    3. @comekpop do you run a blog?

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    4. Umm, well there's comekpop.tumblr.com but I'm still getting into the habit of updating it regularly. I'm still very much an amateur, no where near as legit as klogg/fiddle.se. You could follow my minus or me on twitter @comekpop which I do link to tge new gifs I make regularly, and that's also where I bother AKFG as well. I'm always willing to chat there, I don't bite! I make gifs to pass my boredom, if other folks can enjoy them as well, then thumbs up.

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    5. ahhhh i just recently deleted my tumblr because i hate the 1mb limit and i'm trying to figure out where i can have a blog that's allows for as much customizing as tumblr does without amoyiung limits but i think i'm just going to have to suck it up and learn html coding properly in the end

      don't have a twitter either but i'm in the process of getting a new graphic tablet and then i think i'll figure this mess out. will follow you on minus soon though

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    6. Wordpress is probably the best bet Xiss. I use Blogger, tumblr and Wordpress and I actually like Wordpress the most. It's a lot more customizable than Blogger, though I do like things on Blogger that aren't available (for free) on Wordpress.

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    7. i will ponder this while i try to figure wordpress out. thanks!

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  2. Who 'COMEKPOP'? They make Sulli Good gif, wanna hustle wit them (= My Style ((=

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  3. lol did you get the fix the vid idea from allkpop?

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    1. Yes, this was a parody of that article. Worst article on AKP in ages.

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    2. And this was much better by leaps and bounds haha

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  4. f(x) are K-pop saviors. Amidst a sea of dross, they bring it back on. Thank you Krysus. Ramen.

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  5. I thought the song was pretty boring.

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  6. First title track from SM so far this year that didn't make me want to chop off my ears. I think it's actually pretty good. Otherwise, a very original video idea, too bad that if it happened, f(x) and Fei will probably get lynched.

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  7. what happened to the ridiculous artsy hipster trash that SM showed with the art film

    i feel cheated, damn it

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    1. lol SM really did outdid themselves with that art film. it was really cool stuff but i don't get why they made that boring video if they are capable to come up with that teaser. the girls looked great though, i'm glad they didn't give sulli layers of clothing anymore.

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    2. It'll probably come out as an album track. I hope so.

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    3. @Kpopalypse yeah, it did now. It's called Shadow, it should be on YT by now if you want to look it up. I still wanted a hipster mv though I am dissapoint

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    4. I think that WAS your hipster MV.

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    5. I actually like "Shadow" more than RPPP, though not by much. The rest of the album is very..."Eh." Same old f(x) with cheesy English lyrics and talk rapping. What the FUCK was with the talk rapping for this comeback?

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  8. "Fei would be the pimpstress keeping her hoes in line as they fight for affection." - Bwahahahhaa the shit you come up with sometimes is just hilarious.

    Last Fei gif makes her look like Tiffany.


    The song does nothing for me. Contrary to Krystal (and I noticed Sulli for the first time).

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  9. RPPP is good. Amber's rap isn't shit for a change ("true dat, you know I got it"). A shade experimental like other big comebacks this year but keeping the song length down it what saves it.

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    1. Oh thank god, I thought I was the only one that didn't mind Amber's rap this time around. I actually enjoyed it.

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    2. N Luna actually looks amazing this time round. Her former stylists need to get sacked.

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    3. Luna looks amazing... except at 3:04 where so looks so fug that I had to check that the person on the far right was actually Luna and not a placeholder from the camera crew hired to stand there while she went to the toilet.

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  10. Okay.
    Fairly standard. Nicely minimalistic in stark contrast the majority of releases as of recent, but almost boringly so. The slow verse setting up more powering choruses, though in same key, is a good idea in concept (Tear Away by Drowning Pool as example), but falls flat considering the build-up in between is vocally propelled, and no one in f(x) is a Johnny Rose, hence where the minimalism bites them in the ass, like sulli_fag on a bad day.
    The chorus itself, is disappointingly run-by-the-mill, as they stick vocally close to the chords, you'd hear in any kpop songs. A better vocal/instruments interplay would've been nice.
    I wish, they would've shipped the speed-up speed-down lyrics progression, acting as bridge after amber's "rap", and shoveled it in as acting structure for the verses, making the chorus's framework less one-note, and the songs background string lick, less of a gimmick.
    In pop, chorus is king, and anything else is a servant, and this song is "democratized".

    ?/10

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    1. You should consider do song reviews. If not on here then on your own blog. Your commentary is really interesting.

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    2. If Infamist wants to do them here, I wouldn't mind. I do believe he said one time that most people wouldn't care about why a song is good/bad technically because only a small minority of people would actually understand what he's talking about.

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    3. Like I said many times before, VOTE INFAMIST for pres...er I mean author here

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    4. I prefer the comment section.

      No deadlines.
      No pressure.
      No rules.
      Love it.

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    5. I'd do more technical music reviews but I've always assumed it would just be dull as fuck for people to read. The stuff I already write is probably pushing it for some folks. Ultimately Infamist is right that people will like what they like regardless of factors like that anyway.

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    6. @infamist akfg is probably one of the most lax ("posting rules" wise) blogs around though haha

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  11. Krystal needs to stop. Like, everything. Her voice is an earsore and I'm tired of seeing her boring face everywhere. I like f(x), but she just does NOT sit well with me for some reason...
    Otherwise me likey.

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    1. She and Victoria sing alike...n I don't mean that in a good way. Just Amber n Luna would suffice for live shows, the rest can turn off their mikes and let Sulli swear in-between.

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    2. Krystal looked like a witch with that red neon hair, imo something like Ailee's would look great on her instead.

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  12. the way it was fix, looks like a porno and not a mv...will this be the only porno that you can see in youtube,that isn't banned, after benny bennasi's satisfaction?


    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V5bYDhZBFLA

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  13. It was a really generic music video, I was expecting something more unique. f(x) really don't stand out in any way.

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  14. You'd be a good lesbian fanfic writer, AKF. I'd read them, if you'd consider writing them, of course. I like anything that is lesbian/gei. ;)

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  15. Loved the song. Sulli is hot. Krystal is pedobait. Victoria is a milf. Amber is a homo. The other one?

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    1. She's almost 19. How is she pedobait?

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    2. You're forgetting that sulli fag is 53, so at his point even a MILF would be considere pedobait.

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  16. Yawn...These no names are irrelevant. Can't wait for Sistars comeback. I love you soyu baby<3

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    Replies
    1. They are both equally third class groups, really.

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    2. Well at least to me, SISTAR is on a higher position than f(x), and I blame this to SM for the laziest attempt on making MVs ever.

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    3. most ppl where I come from don't even know any of these nugus heh heh heh.
      It's all about Bigcrash, Plastic Generation, SuperSenior, 2NEwho and guess what?

      They don't even know T-ara (my all-time bias group).................................

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    4. oops I commented and copy+pasted the last line wrongly

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  18. i only seem to start liking sm songs that you like (only one, catch me) a couple of months after their release

    i watched their comeback stage and other than victoria i didn't think it was that special? better than what f(x) usually does but still forgettable

    maybe i'll like this song around october

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  19. As always the only thing Krystal is missing is a black cape and a broom. Sorry she just reminds me of a witch bros.

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