Wednesday, July 17, 2013

SUPPORT FREEDOM - SUPPORT SULLI

I live in Australia, which is a country where we don't have many of those fancy "rights" things, like what some of you other swanky posh countries get.  Freedom of speech enshrined in the law?  Not fucking likely, cunt.  Right to bear arms?  You can't even carry around a gun that fires fucking vegetables.  And if they arrest you for carrying that super-deadly shit, you don't even have the right to remain silent, you filthy fucking criminal scum.  I'm jealous of you folks who live elsewhere and can just whip out the old "you're infringing on my legal rights" line when the shit goes down, that'd be some cool shit to be able to do around where I live.  Australians are pretty much lucky if we're not in jail 24/7.  Oh wait.

All of this harsh oppression that I experience daily (exacerbated by my heritage which is German and Chinese, two countries well versed at various periods in history with "shut up and lie in that ditch over there" so you can imagine what my upbringing was like) means that I sympathise heavily with anybody anywhere who flaunts their legal (or imagined) right to act like a complete cuntfaced bitch in public.  Latest exhibit: Sulli of f(x).

sull



Apparently she said "Cao Ni Ma" which means "fuck your mother" i.e "motherfucker" in Chinese, on some TV show nobody gives a shit about.  The official explanation is that she was repeating the word someone else said to her without her knowing what it meant, but given that Sulli has a track record of being called out for being a cuntfaced mole behind the scenes I don't buy that explanation.  I think she knew exactly what it meant and was getting to grips with the word so she could insult the other Chinese-speaking f(x) members next time they hogged all the good blankets in the dorms.

Now I know what you're thinking - "HOW DARE YOU BASH MY SULLI SHE IS THE GREATEST".  But if you are thinking this, well, this is where I'm going to turn the tables.  I'm not bashing Sulli, in fact I think what she did was fucking righteous and awesome, whether intentional or not.  I think that idiots who think idols are perfect angels with no flaws is part of the ongoing mental health issues plaguing k-pop fandoms and that idols should and in fact need to be overtly rude every so often to remind mentally ill fans that they are just human.  I'm fed up with all these nice groups who pretend to be cool with each other all the time when you know that at least 25% of them are a breath away from scratching each other's eyes out.



Watching any episode of Loen Entertainment's "Let's Dance" is always funny as fuck.  (I've just picked a random one here.)  I love it how when one member talks, all the others just smile and kind of nod half-heartedly in agreement as if to say "oh yes, that's such a good point" even when the person speaking is saying something really obvious-as-fuck.  The insincerity is so thick you could cut it with a knife.  You just know that they're all going to get crammed into a minibus and driven to six more schedules after this video shoot and then they'll go back to the dorms where they eat together at the one table and then sleep in shoebox-style accomodation so close together they can smell each other's body odours, while their hatreds of each other inevitably fester and their menstrual cycles gradually synchronise.  That's life on the production line and it's a wonder these groups last as long as they do.  How SNSD has survived since 2007 without a lineup change is anybody's guess.  My point being that I'm not saying Sulli specifically is a cuntfaced mole, I'm say ALL k-pop group members are cuntfaced moles by default because that's what the industry turns a person into - some are just better at hiding it, others are a bit more emotionally honest.  The ones who come off sweet and nice are either just really good at shrugging off the incredible amounts of fuckery the job brings with it, or have a really good emotional punching bag that you don't know about - either someone else in the group, or maybe a member of the support staff like a hairdresser or makeup person or something.  So in the context of all that, there's really no point getting all wound up about one member swearing on some fucking TV show.

Let's get back to the term "Cao Ni Ma" for a moment, which means "fuck your mother" or "motherfucker" (not "rape your mother" as some Korean netizens have melodramatically claimed in their childlike and transparent attempt to make Sulli look as dirty as possible).  Hey, look at these cute plush toys!

gmh

These cute little critters are replicas of wild animals that lives in China known as "grass mud horses".  They live mainly in North China's Mahler Gobi desert, however river crabs often invade their habitat and this is causing problems for their continued existence.  What the fuck has this got to do with anything, you ask?  Well, let's look at the pronunciation of "Grass Mud Horses" in Mandarin:

Grass Mud Horses = 草泥马 cǎo ní mǎ - sounds like - cào nǐ mā 肏你妈 = Fuck Your Mother

"Grass Mud Horses" has become a bit of an Internet meme in China, it's a way of saying "motherfucker" that circumnavigates and parodies China's Internet censorship.

The region of the Gobi Desert where the Grass Mud Horses are known to reside, is naturally known as the:

Grass Mud Horse Gobi Desert = 草泥马戈壁 cǎo ní mǎ gē bì - sounds like - cào nǐ mā ge bī 肏你妈个屄 = Fuck Your Mother's Cunt

The "river crab" that threatens the habitat of the Grass Mud Horse:

River Crab = 河蟹 héxiè - sounds like - héxié 和谐 = Harmony

Maintaining a "harmonious society" is a common justification by the Chinese authorities for their Internet censorship.  So the running joke on the Internet in China is that the "Grass Mud Horse" representing freedom from censorship is under threat from "River Crabs" - the Chinese authorities.  It's a way for Chinese to criticise the government openly in a way that the government can't do much about without looking ridiculous telling people to stop talking about horses and crabs.

So a bit of cào nǐ mā from Sulli is:

*  A refreshingly honest slip-up in the overly staid world of k-pop
*  A valuable tool to snap fans out of their delusions
*  Symbolic of standing up for freedom against oppression

Therefore, in the interests of making the world a fairer place where people globally can express themselves freely without fear of censorship or oppression from prying fangirls OR prying governments, I believe it's time that this meme spread to the rest of the world, and we make Sulli an ambassador for global free speech.  Maybe she can lead my country out of the darkness.  What do you think?

sullggg

 I think that would be nui bi 牛逼 - fucking awesome.

35 comments:

  1. HELL YEAH FREEEEDOM

    yeah goddamn people blowing it out of proportion for god knows what reasons

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. In before someone links Team America's "America Fuck Yeah"

      Delete
    2. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IhnUgAaea4M

      Delete
  2. The gif made me chuckle as soon as I saw it. Was she stupid for saying a curse on a broadcast, of course. Is it the most abominable thing in the world, nope. Does it come close, nope. Is it worse than the crap korean netizens say, nope. I feel like korean society is just waiting to tear you the fuck apart if you even sneeze the wrong way. But yeah, she's a monster laughing at other people's misfortunes https://googledrive.com/host/0By2VUjSOuusuRUZNNzduTlUxZ0k/sullifive.gif

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They just hate idols, and they hate women, so female idols they really, really hate. If they're prettier and skinnier than them, even more so. It's all about knobbling the perceived competition. If it was Won Bin they'd be "oppa so sexy and handsome, please swear for me".

      Delete
  3. does nobody remember the swearing match heechul and kangin had that was aired on national tv? also a lot of idols talk about swearwords fairly often (only they say gay things like 'the 18 word') i guess its a bigger deal because she's a girl or something

    didn't ai wei wei have a gangnam style parody that did the grass mud horse dance? ai wei wei is such a badass don't u just sarang him

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah it's okay for guys. They hate her cos she's a hot oppa-stealing lady.

      Just like with bullying. When Infinite and B2ST revealed that they bash the shit out of each other in the dorms and hate each other's guts fangirls were like "how cute, that's how oppas mature, be strong oppas" but all T-ara has to do is indirectly call Hwadog slack for letting the team down (which she did) and suddenly they're Public Enemy #1.

      Oh and http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n281GWfT1E8 - humour kinda lost in translation though. But he is definitely a badass.

      Delete
    2. infinite beats each other up? they allude to sunggyu's domestic violence a lot but i think i missed the article where they mention it explicitly

      yeah i've watched a few documentaries and stuff about him i remember there was a point where everyone in my art class was talking about his general badassery

      Delete
    3. I can't find it either, maybe I have them confused with some other boy group. That would be easy enough to do.

      Delete
  4. GOD BLESS AMERICA

    CAO YOUR NI MA'S, YOU SOCIALIST FUCKS

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fack you! I'm outta this joint before everything goes to hell. Zimmerman was the last straw.

      Sadly, no more cheap booze, no longer will girls fawn over my accent, no more fine ass Latinas and Mexican food, no more fast driving and no more fast internet and games.

      I'll just have to be content with universal healthcare, labor rights, less crime, greater public participation and governmental accountability, a social safety net and sassy Aussie chicks.

      Delete
    2. There's more kneegrow on kneegrow crime in cities like Chicago with severe gun laws than out here in the countryside. Gun laws aren't going to stop criminals, you know, because, well, they're fucking criminals.

      Delete
    3. Have fun!

      http://www.aftercare.com.au/abs-causes-of-death-report/

      "sassy" indeed

      Delete
  5. "exacerbated by my heritage which is German and Chinese"

    German and Korean here. Hitler + Kim Jong Un. Unf.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. a lot of people think kai is the dictator of north korea

      Delete
    2. I only know who Kai is because retarded fangirls spam the Han Ye Seul tag on tumblr with shit about HYS being Kai's ideal type. No one thinks Kai is the dictator of North Korea unless they are fucking retarded.

      Delete
    3. Kpopalypse, you can still be Hitler + Mao Zedong haha.

      Delete
    4. exo fanclub on tumblr is crayyyy they don't even speak korean and they finish gifing "moments" before the show is even over

      Delete
  6. SNSD works together because half of them aren't at the dorm anymore.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I guess now we know which half can't stand the other half's guts.

      Delete
  7. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I've read that Koreans are treated like shit in Australia why? In what way?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Where did you read that? I barely met any Koreans in Australia, most Asians there are Chinese and Vietnamese, so maybe it's a lack of RESPECT. But now that K-pop is on the scene, I'm sure many folks have that Kimchi Fever.

      Delete
    2. I've never heard of this either. Sure Australians can be racist just like anybody but I wouldn't say that they are any MORE racist specifically to Koreans. Most Australians wouldn't even be able to differentiate between Koreans and other east Asian nationalities anyway.

      Delete
  9. I thought vietnamese lived in Austrailia and that its the best country everrrrr?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Australian has always had a culture of "one-downmanship" which dictates that you don't brag about your own country (unless you're bragging about how shitty/dangerous it is). It's okay to be proud of beer and sport and maybe AC/DC and how a bunch of our soldiers died in some ditch somewhere because another country told us to but that's really about all.

      And a lot of Vietnamese live here which is good because it means more options at the local food court.

      Delete
  10. Sulli could call me a horse fucker for all I care. I love girls who talk dirty.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Agree. I would make Sulli repeat "Cao Ni Ma" while she jerks me off.

      Delete
  11. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  12. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete