Tuesday, August 27, 2013

2NE1 Destroys Nurse and School Girl Fetishes




AKF special report here. On August 25th, CL of 2NE1 released some photos of 2NE1 on Instagram, causing the greatest disaster since the March 11, 2011 earthquake in Japan. Millions of men have developed erectile dysfunction in response to seeing these pictures.

A webmaster of one of the leading pornography sites revealed that there has been a massive decline in the views of pornography videos featuring nurses and school girls. "These were two of our best categories for obtaining views, but no one is watching them anymore. We uploaded a few videos of some Japanese girls getting gangbanged and bukkaked on a subway, but there have been zero views. It was even uncensored, so we thought it was strange that there were no views." When the webmaster was told of the supposed pictures that caused the massive decline in views, he replied "I don't even wish to see those pictures. It would probably be unethical to show those to the terrorists in Guantanamo Bay.

Pfizer has seen a massive spike in sales over the past few days. A representative stated "We are undergoing experiments right now to find a way for men to regain the ability to get an erection after seeing the 2NE1 picture. That lady in the school girl outfit looks like Michael Myers from the Halloween series. That alone must have killed thousands of boners."

When the AKF team tried contacting YG Entertainment to get their stance on the worst act of terrorism since September 11, the representatives replied with "No comment."

We here at AKF just hope some people don't start photoshopping Bom's face into school girl pornography pictures and videos.

43 comments:

  1. Wait until you find out that this is actually a teaser for their next single concept...

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    1. I would not be opposed to this... I mean, I want them to go back to acting like wannabe badasses, but if they were badass cosplayers? I think I'd really like to see that :3

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    2. Really Chibi Neko? Why would they want to emulate something like Cosplay? Korea should be following popular trends, not trends from a country's who dance choreo is at best following disco.

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    3. Are you saying tehre is no Cosplay in Korea... ?

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    4. Stick with popular trends or stick to being trendsetters. Not culturally irrelevant countries who is only being mocked openly or laughed at from behind

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    5. @Unknown

      Not sure if trolling or serious...

      *ahem* While Korean idol music is way more professional and better put together than Japanese idol music, I wouldn't exactly say that Korean idols are amazing dancers XD

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    6. @Unknown; What are you trying to say ?
      Maybe it's just your weird English, but say it out clear, and don't be such a pussy.

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    7. KPop should not be following inferior Japanese Culture. But then this just classic fetishism.

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    8. Shit, sorry, meant to write "you're kawaii", because that's what you say, right ?

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    10. @unknown
      So your saying that a more economically successful country with stake in at least 50% of the most cultural identifiable icons in the world is inferior? I like Kpop and Korea may be becoming more popular around the world today but it is in no way "trendsetters". in Japan Arashi as a pop idol band is almost as old as Kpop is as a whole, not to mention as a whole Japanese pop bands have a lot more required of them than in Korea. you sound like one of those people who says kpop has more meaning than any other countries pop music when it is just as, if not more nonsensical.
      again I like Korea and a lot of it's culture but being well educated in language(I hold highest level of language proficiency for both korean and Japanese) and culture(lived for extended period of time in both countries). I can flat out tell you straight that Kpop members are not "trendsetters" and that they should follow other cultures since most of their fans are from countries like Japan(whether inferior or not). If you had been to korea you would know that Kpop fans there ARE a minority, and it is not considered cultural.

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  2. Coincidentally, due to the fact that Minzy is everyone's fave, disney princess fetishes went up tenfold.

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  3. Poor girls, the most of the guys would like to date them, less park Bom bcos now she's not human but the rest are nice.

    I mean, CL and Will.I.am did it so she must not be ugly when that man is used to do models...

    Sandara is pretty and she has a nice body for Asian men though for the rest she's too skinny but Asian men like that (bcos they have a tiny penis they prefer tiny girls)

    Minzy is nice and looking at the way she moves she must be a wild Korean girl

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  4. This is almost as bad to look at as Miley's slutty performance at the VMAs was

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    1. Nothing is as bad as that hot mess of a performance. She looked like she was on some shit, she sounded like shit, and she was grinding up on a married man like that shit was alright >_>

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    2. Looks like shit. Sounds like shit. Acts like shit.
      It IS shit !

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    4. Plot twist: It was her evil cousin Luann the entire time.

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    5. No, Miley's was worse. Nothing can top her hideous outfits, dance moves, and grinding on a married man, nearly twice her age. Lol

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    6. God forbid the married man would say no to her grinding on him, you know, being twice her age and all

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    7. @ Anon: Apparently, Miley took the actual performance WAAAAAYYYY further than the rehearsals as an attention grab and he was supposedly really annoyed about it and told her off once they were both offstage.

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  5. This is like an Onion article, haha.

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  6. Is no one else bothered by Sandara's terrible Alice (in Wonderland) outfit?

    The only thing to salvage from this photo is Minzy's Snow White costume.

    Wait a minute - it's not even Halloween! What is this flustercluck?

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  7. 2ne1 is clearly acting desperate because their whole "i am independent" concept is no longer working for them on the charts.

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    1. They haven't had a single with that concept since Ugly, which was in mid 2011 and sold some 3 Million copies. So you are wrong.
      The songs after that were all about "please lub me oppar" in concept and they're still selling not bad.

      The problem (right now) with 2NE1 is that they were just too damn long out of the loop, really. Thanks to shitty management, they only had a single song, albeit a pretty good (I love you), in 2012.
      And to make up for that, they hammer us with 4 songs over a period of 4~5 months now.
      Really stupid management, if you ask me.

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  8. I don't find it horrible.
    And CL can actually look really hot... with a lot of makeup on. She's got a nice body, I'd say. Some tattas, some ass.
    As for the others, it depends.
    But then again, I'm much more into their (older) songs, than just looking at them.

    What I do hate, however, are worthless grain and color filters.

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    1. I never thought CL looked bad and I think she looks damn good in that nurse outfit with the hipster glasses. Also, the filters and gain is Instagram, bro; no way around it.

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  9. Bom's pigtails = 2, number of males in picture = 0, inconspicuous water bottle = 1, twennywan = 4 --> 2014. Dara and Bom are wearing the same shoes --> 2NE1 comeback confirmed. Also, Half-Life 3. YG is a genius!

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  10. Everybody says that CL's sexy but...I can't help but to disagree. What does she look like when she's stripped of her eyelashes and weave and wiped the fuck down of that pound of makeup? Idk man. Maybe put a paper bag over it. Then fuck.

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    1. That's pretty much what everybody's saying.

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  11. B-bom looks good. scurries back into hole

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    1. Bom looks like a video game character. Her face is made out of polygons instead of flesh.

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    2. Are you into 3DPD ? GROSS.

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  12. I've never thought of 2NE1 as ugly per say, perhaps because I don't think of myself as attractive, so I don't like insulting celebs that look ten times better than me, albiet with the help of stylists / heaps of makeup. As I've previously stated, I just don't like calling people ugly.

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    1. However, I do admit I am sliiiightly creeped out by how plastic Bom is.

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    2. Sorry to be a cunt, but it's "per se". Just a pet hate. http://www.englishforums.com/English/PerSay/hrxn/post.htm

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  13. I will concede that CL looks good under the right hair/makeup/angle/lighting conditions. Plus the glasses & Instagram filters never hurt.

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  14. cl looks hot. the rest are cute.

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