Wednesday, August 28, 2013

What bothers me about most boy band music videos

Rarely do we see a wonderfully made music video that has an engaging storyline, good acting, meaningful lyrics, and beautiful music (also read: pretty much only Davichi does this in the Korean music industry). Even rarer do we see a music video that actually makes sense (*cough* barely one fourth of the music videos released in this world). Quite often most companies (whether rich or poor) do the generic close ups, showcase two sets of outfits, and film "our favourite" dancing-in-a-box scenes in all of the cookie-cutter videos.

But what bothers me most is when boy bands are specifically given a storyline like this:


Did you know there is a "ZOOM ZOOM" version of this video? Wtf does that even mean? Someone go figure that out for me, please.


I am actually a little confused over the ending of this story. So, was the girl that they were following the hot one, or the ugly one? As well, the guy/cat doll at the end who finally "gets the girls" would actually be pretty handsome if he did not wear unflattering make-up. Lastly, is the girl/owner of these plushies not horrified and confused as to why her cat toys suddenly became teenaged boys vying for her heart, messing up her date, and trying to kiss her?



(This is just a small list of offenders. There are, like, a billion more. Add to the list in the comment section below!)

So, what? Do the directors just expect every boy in the group to share the same girl?

Look at NU'EST in this case. The same bitch is cheating on all 5 of them! Except for Ren. She probably considered him, like, her gay best friend or something.

To be fair, in this scenario there are actually 2 girls. But both are cheating on at least 2 of the boys so my case still stands. Then again this song is about cheating. Look, let me just have my moment okay. All Asians look the same anyways. Surely I am not the only one who thought it was the same girl at first glance.

All I am saying is that the director could at least have the courtesy to hire enough girls to compliment each boy like in SS501's video:


... instead of having them all fight over the same girl like in the case of B1A4.


She doesn't even want any of them! She just wants her fake white boyfriend with a Ken-doll face. 

Oh, speaking of B1A4, remember that time when they were given the most hideous beast to be their female lead? Barf. I remember that time. BECAUSE I THREW UP RIGHT AFTER. (link: http://antikpopfangirl.blogspot.ca/2012/05/oh-dear-god-what-is-that.html)

I know, I know, sharing is caring and all that bullshit we learned from back in pre-school. But once you get a little bit older, sharing people you are in a relationship with is considered polygamy and is frowned upon in some cultures. Or if you are half of the girls in these music videos, then it is called cheating.

You guys should take advice from Big Bang when it comes to making music videos about one girl.


See! Look at that! All 5 members are helping some OTHER guy get the ONE girl. That makes a thousand times more sense.

Even TOP has G-Dragon's back:

Omigoodness TOP <3. I love you so, so, sososososo much.

Learn from Big Bang. Bros before hoes, my friends.


TL;DR : These are horny teenaged boys! Give them a bone..........r.

PS. If you seriously felt this article was "too long" and you "did not read" the whole thing, then you are just lazy. It is practically 2 mediocre length paragraphs long altogether. These are all videos. In fact, you don't even have to watch any of them.


Remember your rights on this site: anything you say or do here can and probably will be used against you. 

30 comments:

  1. I concur! One thing though, I know a huge component of Kpop MVs are the synchronized dances, but that's hardly an excuse to have a boring-ass box MV when many have "dance versions" anyways, not to mention countless live performances. Why make a dance version when the original video is the same thing but with closeups?

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    1. I like the official dance versions. But the "real" music videos are sooooo boring. I usually cannot finish cookie-cutter-box-dancing MVs. Especially for girl groups. But maybe that's because I don't fap to them. Redundancy is key to being a popular idol though! "Time to perform this dance for the thousandth time this week with a slightly adjusted outfit!"

      Hey CitrusParty. I know I have said this before, but I like your display picture. Do you remember the Twitter it was from? I can't find it anymore. My Google search history looks pathetic now: "pikachu twitter hissing", "pikachu twitter sssffff","pikachu with leaf on head hissing twitter" etc...

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    2. pikachu with leaf on head hissing twitter

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    3. I was getting desperate.

      Still no luck finding it =(

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    4. Sorry, I don't remember the Twitter. I believe I found this picture on a wallpaper website. Other searches lead me to Tumblr and Deviantart. :c

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    5. Would you happen to mean https://twitter.com/Pokochu ?

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    6. Oh dear God, yes. Thank you, CitrusParty! You're my favourite <3

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  2. F.T. Island - I Wish needs to be here on your list.

    I couldn't care less about boybands, they barely interest me, I blame the shitty songs they always get.

    What bothers me about boybands' MV is their aegyo (leave that to the girlbands, seriously), and sexy ish stuff (all those lib rubbing and shit).

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    1. boyband sexy is that horrible intense stare into the camera [and everything else in boyfreind's janus mv]

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    2. There wasn't enough raunchy hip thrusting in janus and that deserves a s/o too.

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    3. Lip rubbing is a one-way ticket to male idol fame, okay. All the fangirls eat that shit up. "I imagine my _____ rubbing against his lips like that~ omo~ omo~ aigo~!!1!"

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  3. For visiting that old article, I'll probably have nightmares for the rest of the week.

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    1. Good. Too much fapping going on around here. I need to change it up for your male readers every so often.

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    2. Just like how my friend thinks of my obsession of kpop!

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    3. We rely on you to appeal to the ladies who frequent this site. They need their ladyboner fix!!

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    4. Bossu and you are all the female readers need for their fix. Especially when they see you guys strip teasing on your livestreams.

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  4. still better than infinite mvs feat random car crashes and man-prisons + random white girl who stands around near sungyeol sometimes

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  5. As someone who doesn't understand korean, and doesn't look up the lyrics to the songs, do the lyrics for most of the songs(I read all the words but didn't watch all the videos) even lend themselves to having a video with a deep/decent plot?

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    Replies
    1. Usually no. That's why the mv is usually completely unrelated to the song. (see: actually, pretty much every T-ARA music video ever made)

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  6. Taeyang certainly has a special place in the annals of guys getting cheated on in kpop videos and not having a fucking clue. I mean look at that Wedding Dress video. How stupid do you have to be to not notice that guy you're hanging out with is sticking it to your girl and she don't really want you? Taeyang got played.

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    1. Guy gone through a nasty breakup irl iirc

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    2. umm i'm pretty sure wedding dress was about how he was friend-zoned and the other dude was her romantic interest

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  7. I guess hiring one model for each guy multiplies the video budget. That's probably why... oh, and video directors having no ideas of course.

    Actually for "guys fighting over a girl" you can't go past Davichi's "Don't Say Goodbye", heh.

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  8. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KH6ZwnqZ7Wo
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eQ9sTtXSDwo
    Only two boy-band mvs worth watching tbh.
    Something genuinely original and actually interesting in a sea of cookie-cutter mvs.
    Ironic because that's what their company specializes in.

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    Replies
    1. Isn't it because of the 2 over budgeted MVs SJ got the short end of the stick and got the generic 360 camera shot+dance in the box MV. Then again SJ has a legion of mentally insane ELFs to buy anything they put out

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    2. it's sad because before sorry sorry they actually made a few really good songs (wonderboy will always rule)

      also i was surprised that you picked MAMA of all things; the song is an absolute masterpiece when compared to what came after, but exo's uncomfortable acting and the forced 'alien' concept that was probably thrown in at the last second because of BAP really didn't do it for me. it isn't really even threaded together in an interesting way, just random clips of all the members doing their thing that didn't make it to the teaser videos + box dancing

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  9. I'm still waiting for a day where a kpop video is directed by someone like Michael Bay

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    1. I would pay top dollar for Michael Bay to direct a girl group's MV.

      Imagine it... Explosions, expensive cars, dramatic camera panning, scantily-clad KPop starlets, extravagant CGI that actually looks good...

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    2. If only... But if that were to be the case then whoever the lucky girls are they'd blow every other single debuts/comebacks of the year out of the water and a lot of deranged fangirls to be pissed off because their oppas didn't get recognition . That'd be awesome to see though

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  10. You piss me off.... Not in a 'You're a horrible person who needs to take this shit down because it's rude and is completely unfounded coming from someone who most likely doesn't even speak Korean so therefore cannot possibly declare that the mvs make no sense and especially because you're bashing an entire culture you probably know nothing about' kind of way. But more in a 'You're a racist asshole who doesn't know when to shut up kind of way.' :)

    Seriously? All Asians look alike? Whether you were joking or not, that's taking shit way too far.... (And honestly the only reason I'm pissed enough to even post this.)

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