Tuesday, November 11, 2014

Prepping For Doomsday With AOA

If any of you have watched National Geographic's "Doomsday Preppers," you may have noticed that the show leaves off one very important rating criteria from its scorecard. The original scorecard ranks each doomsday prepper from 0-20 on 5 categories: food, water, shelter, security, and x-factor. Which category is the show missing? Fap material.

Whichever doomsday scenario comes true, (anarchy, nuclear war, financial collapse, natural disaster, etc.), you will need fap material with you. If you want K-pop-centered fap material, AOA is the way to go. This group is the only one that has prepared the doomsday prepper to have K-pop fap material once electricity goes out.

In our supposed doomsday scenario, there is chaos and the country is thrown into an anarchic state. There is no electricity, so all of your K-pop sources have dried up. You can no longer access K-pop via your computer or smartphone. Only those of us who buy CDs can still listen to K-pop provided that we have those CD/radio players with a battery compartment. Unless you're one out of 19037201403138 who somehow have the resources to power your home via geothermal, solar, and/or wind power during anarchy, you're shit out of luck when it comes to getting your K-pop fix. And even if you do have power, you won't have access to the Internet as it is most likely that none of the Internet Service Providers would be providing Internet service during anarchy.

Now let's fast-forward three weeks into anarchy. You are experiencing massive blue balls. You have had no choice but to shoot every girl that has come into your yard trying to steal from food from you. You think necrophilia is gross, and you think bestiality is just as repulsing, so you have no desire to fuck your dog up the ass. You really need to fap. Luckily, you bought AOA's Hot Summer photobook from the summer. (You can buy it from Soompi or YesAsia. I bought it from Soompi only because my bank blocks every transaction from YesAsia. I'm not being paid to post either of these links, but I'm only posting these links if you are a true Doomsday Prepper.)

For the past three weeks, you have been without your world of porn. It has been devastating to you...and your penis and balls. Then you open up your AOA Hot Summer photobook and smile.

You'll take it. A picture of Yuna's cleavage is better than anything else you have around you that is K-pop related. You relieve yourself fairly quickly (as it has been three weeks since your last fap), and now your feel calm and collected. Which is perfect, because you're no longer anxious when you the sound of boots and rocks crunching coming from your driveway. You pick up your AR-15 and pick off each of the guys who were trying to raid your house.

"No one is going to steal my AOA Hot Summer photobook," you say as you smile, watching the blood ooze out of the heads of each person you summarily executed.


I bought the photobook as soon as I could and I don't regret the cost. It is $50 (from Soompi, but I got free shipping), so unless you like AOA, I wouldn't recommend you that you buy it. However, I bought it for several reasons. I wanted to reward AOA for doing this in the first place. This is an instance in which I thought AOA really deserved my money for doing this. Secondly, if this photobook does well, I am hoping that AOA will release more of these in the future. If AOA's photobooks become successful, maybe that will entice other girl groups to start doing the same thing. Lastly, if doomsday ever happens, this is the only K-pop related fap material that is available without being connected to the Internet.


  1. Replies
    1. I hate you so fucking much.

    2. Awwww... :(( Maybe you don't know me well enough to love me?

  2. Real talk AKF.
    And Hyejeong is mine.

  3. N00bs. I print all of AOA video frames on paper. Now if I could only solve the problem of the pages being glued together after a few uses… the frame rate is atrocious.

  4. Too bad there probably no swimsuit pics like jidols.

  5. Too bad there probably no swimsuit pics like jidols.

  6. Replies
    1. Hurl's Day needs to jump of Duble Sidekick's dick and release good songs again

    2. but even ei ou ei's songs have been shit after miniskurt