Friday, December 19, 2014

Brazilian Man Has Plastic Surgery to Look Korean

I shit you not.


Yes, this actually happened. The Hallyu Wave has taken yet another international victim - but this time, we cannot save him from drowning.


Comments (that I may or may not have made up) include:
"What the actual fuck?"
"To explain his small penis?"
"Don't Asian girls want white guys in the first place?"

He was not a bad looking guy to begin with. I am sure he could have gotten plenty of ladies (or men. Whatever floats his boat. We don't judge here) with his looks. Plus, his Brazilian accent and suave South American heritage would just add to his resume. But nope - he had to go ruin everything.

Max (who now goes by the name of Xiahn - which sounds more Chinese than Korean to me) allegedly became fixated on Korean culture after studying abroad there for a year. His obsession infatuation led him to paying for 10 plastic surgeries to "perfect his look".

I blew up this photo so that you may all stew in jealousy over how beautiful he now looks

Xiahn, 25, goes by the online pseudonym of "Oriental Gaucho". He intends on moving to Korea as soon as possible so that he no longer is a foreign Koreaboo, but a full-fledged obsessive fanboy amongst his self-proclaimed own kind.  

Like a model. SM Entertainment - get right on that shit. He already knows another language! 
My gosh. Ten plastic surgeries - most of which were solely concentrated on "fixing" his eyes. That is intense. I could not imagine going through any of those as I am too scared of double eyelid surgery for I fear things going in my eye (que jokes about semen going into a girl's eye. Hah hah. Hilarious. Haven't heard those comments before). This guy has balls.

I feel like this is an extreme version of getting a large, obnoxious, misspelled tattoo when highly intoxicated. But really, if the internet did not have a plethora of drunken tattoos, what else would we laugh at in addition to dumb fangirl comments and cats doing silly things? Unlike a tattoo though, this cannot really be reversed with a handful of follow up procedures.

This is why some boys can't have nice things.


25 comments:

  1. I heard about this but I didn't write about it because I already covered plastic surgery mutants in a previous post.

    He looks like one of the people in Goat Simulator.

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  2. SHINBI WROTE A REAL ARTICLE!

    Now we just need sulli_fag back to write about sniffing Sojin's butthole.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Are you back to write articles then,?

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    2. Me? I'll still write here and there, but I've turned over the posting duties to HYS_F. Some of the other admins are doing my behind-the-scenes work now, so I'm basically here to guide the site and help the other admins and authors if they need my help.

      Delete
  3. he looks like he's permanently about to sneeze

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  4. Replies
    1. I actually wrote a draft for this article months ago; but I never actually published it. Since I was dicking around on the site last night to catch up on STFUs, I thought I would clean it up and finally post it.

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  5. It's sad; he looked fine before. If he does move to Korea it won't take them long to realize he is a foreigner.

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  6. What... Now he just looks like he killed some idol and wore his face as a mask.

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    Replies
    1. A bit like Infinite's L, right?

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    2. @ Viridis: that sounds like the beginning of an exciting murder case. Who knows - there could be crazy (anti-) fans out there who are capable of thinking to do that.

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  7. Nothing but jealous haters in this comments section.
    You leave Brazilian Oppa alone.

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    Replies
    1. Cool, you just made me feel way better about this whole freaky situation.

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  8. Isn't Brazil big on plastic surgery in general?

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  9. He's going to wake up one day and really regret this lol. In the first pic he looks like someone stuck Lego under his skin

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  10. Ovaries explode. Marry me oppar.

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  11. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  12. hmm wasnt this , like a really old news?

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    Replies
    1. As previously mentioned in a comment I made a day before you posted this: I wrote this article a long while ago. I just never published it. But since I was around, I thought I would clean it up and finally post it.

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  13. Has nobody noticed that he looks like that ugly piece of shit Suhyun

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  14. That eyeliner is so not on point in the last photo. >.>


    What a cringe fest...

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