Tuesday, March 10, 2015

[AKF Interview] Fei's Secret To Having A Fappable Body


I read this article from Soompi about Fei's secret to having a toned body, and knew that I wanted to interview her to get the truth from her. Fei was kind enough to grant me this interview, knowing that this week, my spring break, was the only chance I would have to interview her before I had to enlist in the military.

AKF: Fei, thank you for visiting me in my mom's basement.

Fei: You're welcome. It's not as if I had any schedules, anyway.

AKF: That is a shame. Maybe miss A will have a comeback by the time I return from the military, but let's not hold our breath.

Fei: I'll probably have been on 35 different variety shows by the time miss A has a comeback.

AKF: I read that you do 200 sit-ups a day. How do you find the motivation to do that? I don't even think I did 200 sit-ups last year, unless you count the act of me laying on my bed while watching TV and bringing my torso up to get into a fapping position as a sit-up. If so, then I did at least 365 sit-ups last year.

Fei: Honestly, Suzy is my inspiration. I don't want to be a fucking disgusting slob like she is. That bitch is a fat whore.

AKF: What makes you say that about Suzy? I'm sure she's not that fat.

Fei: Believe me, AKF. That fat bitch wears a corset under her clothes every day that she has activities. She's fatter than Shindong.

AKF: That is great inspiration. I would also like to say that your abs do look great. I would lick them.

Fei: Thanks?

AKF: Forgive me. I'm a 45-year-old man who has never had sex, let alone touch a girl in a sexual manner. That is why I developed so many personalities over the years and let them manifest through this site. One of my alter egos, HanYeSeul_Fag, is a sex-crazed mother fucker who gets action all the time and his favorite sexual activity is to get pegged. I would give anything in the world to even be pegged by a girl. Then I have two other personalities, Soyeon Friend and Fany Pack, who are married. We all know I'll never get married, so I have to pretend that I'm married and shit.

Fei: That does sound very pitiable. I think you can be an influence like Suzy. Men around the world can aspire to not be like you and they can actually muster up the courage to ask girls out instead of fapping in their mom's basement for eternity.

AKF: You know Fei, you're being a bitch. I was trying to give you some spotlight here.

Fei: I'm just trying to help your faggot ass out. Stop being a bitch and spending all day answering ask.fm questions under your Kpopalypse account, being a vocalfag under your akisame account, writing about pegging under your HanYeSeul_Fag account, jacking off to Thai shemales under your Soyeon Friend account, writing about how hot Hyun Bin's cock is under your Fany Pack account, spazzing about Seohyun and stealing pics of some random Vietnamese dude and posting them to an Instagram account under your Zaku account, writing about communism under your Sohyunna account, talking about One Piece and Tiffany under your PTS Sr. account, dreaming about Dok2 under your Krakenoid/maknae account, being a lesbian under your WTFisastarship account, pretending to be black under your The Duchess account so that you can say "nigger" whenever you want, acting like you're going to go to medical school under your Shinbi account, writing about how Seungyeon is your waifu under your Ahjussi account when you're never going to have a wife, and lastly, writing about sniffing buttholes under your sulli_fag account.

If you actually got a life, cleaned your ass up a little bit, you wouldn't be a 45-year-old man who has never even grabbed any girl's tits. The first thing your bitch ass needs to do is to do 200 sit-ups a day to get rid of that beer gut.

18 comments:

  1. How do we keep getting all these exclusive interviews????

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  2. How does she know all of these things?

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    Replies
    1. One of AKF's secret personalities is the Jinabbit equivalent of Fei and has a 'close personal relationship' with her.

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  3. Jesus Christ you guys are SO emo.

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    1. Only one of us is emo, that particular personality will not be spoken of at this time.

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  4. She really must follow/stalk you to be that precise in the last paragraph. But, you know, like in that porn fetish when the girl laughs at you for being a cuckold, a manlet or having a small penis. Yeah, there are people with that fetish, she may get off humiliating social autists.

    Or maybe she is you. I know this is completely impossible but i would never stop laughing if i discovered some author here was a kpop idol venting her frustration after 30 fucking hours of recording a MV with some asshole in their group. Now, that would a fucking good scandal. One can dream.

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    1. You do know I am Jaejoong, right?

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    2. Hahah can you write me a Note saying thank yo sevpoots love jaejoong so i could piss the Jaejoong stans in the Philippines xD

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    3. Is this you bro? lol

      7th Member of FIESTAR (Half korean • Half Pinoy ) Sev☆POOTS Rapper / Lead Dancer 95.08.18 / LEO Twitter / kakaotalk / LINE / WeChat / FB : SevPOOTS

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    4. Yes xD follow for follow hahah!
      Also if you search "7th member of firstar" my faces comes up in google image. Basic file renaming is great xD

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  5. It's actually not hard to believe that Jaejoong has never been with a woman

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  6. Big deal. She doesn't even lift properly. What's that? 30kg?

    And being in the same group with that fat whore Suzy doesn't help

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  7. Funny how this started out as an interview about Fei's body, yet the majority is about Suzy being a fat whore and AKF personalities. lol
    AKF really likes to play the submissive bitch!

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  8. By the end of the post, I forgot what a sexy goddess Fei is

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    Replies
    1. Oh, btw, Miss A will have a comeback late March - early April, apparently...

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  9. On a serious note, getting a good body is more of what you eat than how you exercise. You can do 200 push-ups a day, but if you had not given a single thought on what you ate, all those exercises you did would have been in vain. There is also no such thing as single-spot reduction; you lose fat all over your body even when you only do pushups. For example, 50g of fat lost from those pushups would be 10g of fat from arms, thighs, boobies, back and ass. Also, abs will only appear if you have a low body fat. So I'm afraid the joke's on Fei.

    ...I'm practicing writing for my IELTS test in 2 days, please grammar nazi the fuck out of me If you spot any errors anywhere D:

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    1. "I'm practicing writing for my IELTS test in 2 days, please grammar nazi the fuck out of me If you spot any errors anywhere D:"

      You used a number for two when you should have written it out, and you didn't put a period at the end of the sentence.

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