Friday, March 6, 2015

The 1st Annual Kpop Hunger Games

The opening field.

Not too far into the future a great calamity overtook the world of Kpop. After years of extremely bland, derivative songs and poorly written articles a great battle was fought. After years of harsh fighting, most of Kpop was completely destroyed except for a few groups who went into hiding and several blog authors. Eventually those groups came out of hiding and were split into 12 districts. As punishment for their transgressions each district is mandated to send 2 representatives or tributes to a fight to the death with only one person emerging victorious.

This is a recap of how the first ever Kpop Hunger Games played out.

(Please note, this is entirely random so don't accuse me of stacking the results.)

The Bloodbath

The Bloodbath, appropriately named because it's usually the bloodiest day of all played out surprisingly tame. I was surprised to see that only Taeyeon was killed by Hwayoung. Several interesting team ups are happening. Layla, Sohyunna, and Jimin have teamed up as well as the all female team of Areum, Fany Pack, Soyeon, and Yuna. G Dragon and Lime have run off together while Sica was able to overpower Boram. All in all Day 1 was interesting not because of who died but rather who teamed up.

Day 1

The first full day of the Kpop Hunger Games saw several interesting developments. A couple contestants had close calls including Way and Soyeon Friend. Kpopalypse appears be playing a defensive game as he constructs himself a shack. Boram, suffering some kind of mental break begs Layla to kill her but Layla refuses. Meanwhile Fany Pack stalks Zaku while Alice, Jimin, and Soyeon appear to have teamed up. Two contestants have received sponsor gifts, Han Ye Seul Fag and Areum.

Day 1 (Night)

The first night started off with a bang as G-Dragon sets off a bomb killing PTS Sr, kpopalypse, TOP, and Soyeon. Most of the other contestants have teamed up to get through the night. Han Ye Seul Fag was killed in the night from hypothermia while Areum cries herself to sleep. Zaku tells Lime, Jimin, and Way a ghost story while Layla, Chorong, and Bomi anticipate what will happen tomorrow. Soyeon Friend has another close call but he and Yuna decide to make a truce for now.

Day 2

Day 2 had two casualties as Soyeon Friend kills Hwayoung and Lime kills Bomi. Fany Pack and Jimin play it safe while G-Dragon fights Way but spares her life. Layla steals supplies from Sohyunna while he isn't looking.

Several cannon shots can be heard in the distance.

Current standings.

Day 2 (Night)

The second night saw G Dragon meet his demise at the hands of Way. I was surprised GD was killed as he seemed like one of the stronger contestants. Meanwhile, the rest of the contestants gather in three groups to talk about the next morning.

Day 3

Day 3 had several more deaths as Layla kills Chorong, Jimin accidentally kills herself by drinking poison intended for Choa, and Fany Pack's trap kills Boram. Areum receives a sponsored gift while Sica builds a shack and Soyeon Friend spends the day hiding.

Day 3 (Night)

That night Choa kills Lime in a hand to hand fight while Yuna comes close to mental break. The other contestants huddle around their fires.

Day 4

Day 4 had one death as Soyeon Friend sets off a bomb killing Way. A team of Sica, Yuna, Alice, and Choa raid Zaku's camp while he is hunting. Meanwhile Fany Pack daydreams of home.

Current standings.

Day 4 (Night)

The fourth night saw Zaku meet his death as he is killed by a bomb set off by Choa. Meanwhile Fany Pack, Sica, Layla, and Yuna make a camp together while Alice dies alone of hypothermia.

Day 5

The next day, Soyeon Friend eats tainted food from Layla and dies while Sica and Choa fight but Sica spares her life. Sohyunna receives supplies from a sponsor while Fany Pack hides in the bushes.

Day 5 (Night)

The games appear to be almost complete as only 3 contestants get through the night. Layla kills Sica, Fany Pack, Choa, and Areum with a bomb.

Day 6

Day 6 ends with only two contestants left as Yuna kills Sohyunna...

Day 6 (Night)

And Layla ends up killing Yuna with a hatchet, becoming the winner of the 1st Annual Kpop Hunger Games.

The Final Standings

I hope you all enjoyed the Games!


  1. inb4 the Hwayoung determination jokes

  2. I was consistently unpleasant. Glad someone killed me.

  3. What is this Hunger Games thing? Some kind of poor teen's Battle Royale?

    And who the fuck is "Layla"? lol

    1. Yeah I've never seen it but from what I'm told Hunger Games is some shithouse American Battle Royale clone for kidlets.

    2. I'm surprised Hollywood hasn't done an actual remake of Battle Royale. I just want them to stop remaking 80's movies and turning them into complete shit. I just hope they leave Back to the Future alone.

      I'd want a M14 EBR up in this bitch just so I can shoot Katniss in the face thought she could bring the droids up in Tatooine pffft I know what they were trying. Then I'd turn peeta into pita bread.

    3. Only the most braindead Weaboo douches would compare Battle Royale and THG and claim BR is superior. They're nothing alike besides the whole a bunch of kids get thrown into an arena and made to fight to death. You might as well say BR is a poor adaptation of The Running Man or The Long Walk. But of course that would be silly because, again, besides the whole people fighting to death in an arena thing the themes and meaning are completely different.

      BR is good in its own right but I don't think it's nearly as compelling as THG. It's about the breakdown of the Japanese social and personal identity structure. THG is mostly about the juxtaposition of gritty violence and superficial celebrity culture in the media, and how that's used to manipulate an audience.

      But if you're only interested in young kids fighting to the death then Battle Royale definitely has more head chopping.

    4. Feel free to prefer hunger games, but the main idea is still stolen from BR.

    5. As opposed to the actual arenas that existed in real life where people fought to the death? Maybe it was "stolen" from BR but it isn't that unlikely that the author came up with the idea of THG independently. Japanese media isn't that popular anyway, it's very possible to not have heard of BR.

    6. Sure, but that doesn't change that I consider it's main action a copycat.

  4. GD lit me up and let me burn like he just didn't care.

  5. I found the website, so here's mine.

    10 days later

    1. Even in an alternate universe Soyeon dies. ;____;

    2. This comment has been removed by the author.

    3. I knew it. There's something sinister and dangerous looking about Naeun.

    4. what website is it? I wanna have a go :P

  6. SO many things to say:

    First off: I hate my nickname. I am more than Best of the Worst. I occasionally do other things.

    Second: I wouldn't team with all those people.

    Third: I wasn't "stalking" Zaku. I was just looking at his Insta pics after he tweeted them.

  7. Replies

  8. Is "Layla" pic Lee Min Jung?

  9. When G-Druggin set the bomb off, I bet he sang...

    "This is my Coup d'etat"

  10. Damn, I thought Way's girls will own this shit.

  11. This comment has been removed by the author.


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