Wednesday, April 8, 2015

EXO's Call Me Baby



I can't wait for tax season to be over so that HYSF can come back. Now I have to listen to this fucking song in his place.



If I was a member for EXO, I would be plotting my escape right now. While this song isn't as bad as "Wolf," this song is unremarkable in almost every way.

Anyway, HYSF told me what an Alabama Hot Pocket was the other day....

...and since I haven't written an article like this in a long time, here it goes:

I would rather fuck Hyoyeon and give her an Alabama Hot Pocket. I would creampie in her pussy and then I would let her shoot the mixture of shit and sperm into my mouth. To top it off, I would fuck Hyoyeon when she was on her period so that she could let the blood from her vag drip into my mouth. I would have the perfect combination of colors and flavors to create some Neapolitan ice cream.

Then I would let Hyoyeon force me to swallow that as she turned into her orc form and put on a massive 12-inch strap-on dildo and let her dry-peg me while Suzy the fat whore entered the room to join us. She would be jacking me off using her greasy fat rolls.

Hwayoung would come into the room and start rapping "I likey likey dis, I likey likey dat, I like dis, I like dat, YEAH!" on repeat for the next hour.

To top it off, I would be forced to read every comment on every article on Netizen Buzz for the next 12 hours.

And all of that would still be better than being a member of EXO.

19 comments:

  1. I wanna go back to not knowing what an Alabama Hot Pocket is...

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    1. I wanna go back in time and tell my 12 y'old what his new favourite fetish is.

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  2. Its still nowhere near as bad as Growl or the dreaded Miracles in December, the musical embodiment on a non-sedated colonoscopy

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  3. It's my first time loving, an entire EXO album, and it's really weird ew. I love the title track, brings me back to the 90's and early 20's, As a dancer myself the dance is quite impressive and theirs just enough hipthrust glory for me to fawn over. So i have no issues with this comeback is my point.

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  4. Usually I associated Alabama with Sweet Home Alabama. It'll never be the same anymore. I'm scarred for life.

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  5. This shit reminded me why I can't stand gaypop. Bunch of dudes trying too hard to be cool and edgy, while being absolutely laughable.
    YOU made me watch this, AKF!
    I hope you are happy now! :(

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    Replies
    1. I didnt think we still used gaypop in 2015...yet here we are.....

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    2. Absolutely laughable... and indisputably successful, thanks to fangirls.

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    3. @Trifflin; I don't know how you use it, but I suggest watching the South Park episode about the word "faggot".

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  6. Welcome back AKF, back to trashing boy bands like a good creepy fanboy?

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  7. I'm not even an EXO fan and I found this song incredibly palatable.

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  8. Not sure if this song is better than "Overdose" but I still enjoyed it nicely. Suho and Xiumin looking good in the video is a plus, but the MV is a huge let down especially after those great teasers.

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    Replies
    1. True. I thought CMB was just an additional MV at first (like how Red Velvet released Automatic first before ICC), then after CMB nothing else was released and I was like "...That's it? What does this have to do with the teasers"

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  9. I don't even know why we are discussing EXO on AKF.
    Will. Never. Be. Their. Fan.

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  10. One of them looks like Guy Fieri. Really makes the MV.

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