Sunday, April 10, 2016

Sunday Shitpost #18

Sunday Shitpost time, which means in Kpop, it's time to find some news other than about Produce 101/IOI and Sulli. Can we do it?

News Story #1: IOI is going to let fans vote on everything

Nope, Of course there's going to have to be news about IOI since that's about 35% of the news lately.

I see this is a disaster in the making. Allowing fans to dictate everything is like expecting chocolate fudge cake and instead getting a bowl of elephant diarrhea. It may seem smart at first, but fans will want the boring songs that allow the few vocalists in the group to vocally masturbate all over us and will choose the tamest of tame concepts.

News Story #2: Jung Eunji prepares for a solo debut

I'm a huge fan of Eunji since "Reply 1997," and I am surprised that she hasn't had a solo debut already.

It better not only appeal to vocalfags. Please, that's all I ask.

For you vocalfags:

News Story #3: Sulli and Choiza haven't broken up! TELL YOUR PARENTS!
This is the absolutely last time I even touch this. At this point, this is becoming like an episode of TMZ. (Yes, you have to watch a show once if you actually want to be able to criticize why it's so shit.) Sulli knows that doing stupid shit on Instagram will garner her more attention in the media, and you even have some sites like Netizen Buzz doing almost nothing but translate Sulli articles. As I don't make any money from any of this, I don't have a vested interest in covering what Sulli does. I know a lot of people enjoy seeing Sulli "melt down," but if you enjoy watching someone going through the phase of being an attention-seeking whore, that tells a lot about your character.
News Story #4: Jessica is raking in that Chinese Yuan from CeCi
Does Jessica have any lesbian tendencies like her sister (except for in HYSF's fanfic)? With Sica and Eunji having solo debuts around the same time, I feel like Sica may try to do lesbian things with Eunji.
News Story #5: Soompi interviews Twice

You can watch Momo lie about learning Korean. You know that Nayeon offered Momo to lick her pussy if Momo could get a 100% on her Korean tests, With that kind of motivation, Momo quickly learned to the point that Nayeon had to stop letting Momo lick her pussy before Momo turned her gay.

True story.


  1. But it's not the fans voting - it's only the IOI members themselves. Or did I read the article wrong...?

    1. yeah it's the member not the fans.

    2. And we all know it's just media play because no Kpop record company would ever allow nugu idols to make any artistic decisions.

  2. AKF if I remember well you were a Jin Seyeon fan, have you watched this?

  3. I just had heart eyes the entire time during that interview, although I'm kinda kicking myself because they were heart eyes and a bit of squinty eyes. I paid careful attention to who was most uncomfortable/bored/unamused during each girls' speaking time to try and see if I could find conflict. So far, the leader (forgot her name, the one second farthest to the right in top row) seems to really like Momo, and the girl with the short hair is playing with the girl below her's hair during most of it. I smell lesbians. Nobody looked very impressed when Tzuyu spoke which sucks bc she's a cutie.

    Also, who do you think is going to be the first to get kicked out? My bet is on Tzuyu, the leader, or Momo. I love Momo but she seems like someone who could go at it if she wanted to, the leader girl looks like one of those fake ass bitches, and Tzuyu seems a little stuck up but also a little sensitive and shy.

    I don't sense anyone getting kicked out in the next 5 years or so. I sense they will become the most popular girl group, beating out SNSD, and tensions between them will normally be low outside of the leader bitch and perhaps either Momo or the lesbian with the short hair who might be a victim of her bullying. The one girl I see getting along with everyone is Naeyeon and also short haired lesbian, who Naeyeon is dating. Girl at 5:15 will be done with everyone's shit but will still be friends with Naeyeon and her girlfriend and also the girl left to leader bitch. 5:26 girl is somewhat distant but is best friends with 5:15 girl and is the funny one. Anyone else I missed is just in the neutral party. Really, the only drama starters are leader bitch, Momo (who gets dragged into it and fuels the fire), Tzuyu (who doesn't like drama but starts it often), and lesbian girl (who leader bitch bullies).

    Those are my predictions. Only reason I'm typing them out is because I have an uncanny and terrifyingly precision accurate track record of predicting things.

    So, who will be the next Jesshitca?