Friday, April 1, 2016

Xiumin and Chanyeol get buckwild (while I watch)

I'll post detailed results later, but one of the big takeaways so far from my latest survey is that you readers like the fanfiction but would also like to see more gender balance in Kpopalypse blog.  So in the ever-continuing quest to give all of my readers exactly what they want at all times, I'm going to hand this post over to a young female author to write about k-pop guys!

siwonhead

Her writing style's a bit different to mine but I'm sure you'll all enjoy a break from my snarky bullshit, right?




Hi!  My name is Amy and Kpopalypse has asked me to write a fanfic! Yay!

So here it is:

XIUMIN AND CHANYEOL GET BUCKWILD (WHILE I WATCH)

Chapter 1

My name is Amy and I am really pretty with long hair and it's my best feature and I'm really nice. I just started at my new school in Seoul! It's really boring because of all the learny stuff and cos I have to clean and mop but it's also super rad because it's in Gangnam where K-POP STARS ARE omggggggggggg
So I was having lunch break and I was sitting at the table eating lunch, and a guys says "can I sit next to u?" and I looked up and saw Xiumin from EXO!
xiuminschool
OMG SQUEEEEEEE
So he sat down and I was like "oh my god you are Xiumin from EXO!  I love you!"


and he was like "yeah" and totally cool about it and everything but he also seemed really sad.

"Y r u sad?  I love you!" I asked Xiumin, but he didn't say anything, he just looked deep and moody and really sexy.

Chapter 2

The next day I had lunch and Xiumin was there again.

"Amy, I have something important to say" he said. He looked totally serious which was really hot.
"Okay then!" I said.

"Amy, even though this is only the second time I have seen you, I feel like I have known you my whole life. I need to confess to you something... are you an EXO-L with all your heart?"

"Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I reply.  I mean I'm not actually in EXO-L or anything but that doesn't matter I'm still EXO 4 LYF

He said "I'm gay for Chanyeol.  But we need help to consummate our love.  Because EXO is our life and so important to us, we cannot make sweet love without the presence of a true EXO-L who is completely pure in their love for EXO.  Can you help us by being there for us during our lovemaking session?"

"OMG YES" I said!  I got really excited and started jumping up and down and spazzing!

"It's only because you are so pretty, Amy, prettier than that other girl over there" said Xiumin, stroking my hair with his hands.  He looks at some other girl called Sarah and then back at me.  "You're the prettiest" he says.

Chapter 3

 

So that night Xiumin takes me over to the EXO DORMS and I'm really excited!
We go into the shower and there is Chanyeol and he is like SUPER HOT

chanyeolabs
MY OVARIES THEY HURT
Xuimin sees Chanyeol and then he sprouts angel wings OMG

xiuminwings
AN ANGEL OMG

He says "I AM ACTUALLY AN ANGEL SENT TO EARTH THAT IS WHY EXO ARE SO AWESOME AND BETTER THAN OTHER GROUPS, CHANYEOL PLEASE BEND OVER AND ACCEPT MY WARM LOVE INTO YOUR HOLE".

Chanyeol drops his pants and says "AS EXO WE ARE ONE, WE WILL JOIN OUR FLUIDS IN THE PRESENCE OF THE EXO-L, WHO IS SO PRETTY WITH HER NICE HAIR"

Xiumin wraps his angel wings around Chanyeol and says "IT IS JUST AS WELL YOU ARE SO PRETTY AMY, THANK YOU AMY FOR ENABLING OUR HOT MAN LOVE"

Chapter 4

 

I'm having lunch with Xiumin and Chanyeol at school, they are both stroking my hair cos it's so pretty omg.
"Can you listen to my singing? Do I need more vocal practice? Please teach me the proper way to sing with your knowledge of true talent as an EXO-L" asks Xiumin.

"What do you think we should release next as a single? As an EXO-L I think you would know best" asks Chanyeol.

All the girls in my class looking at me and they are totes jealous especially that bitch at school Sarah who thinks she's better than everyone and who all the gross boys look at because she looks so easy.

Chapter 5

 

Xiumin says "thank you Amy, you have given us the courage to go public with our relationship".

They go public in the media, South Korea sees this and make gay marriage legal and I am at Xiumin and Chanyeol's wedding and its so awesome.

Then EXO release a new album and its the best thing ever, and Xiumin shows his abs on stage a lot.

xiuminabs2
ASDGFJAHGSDFGHASDFADSGGH

Everyone at school loves me because I helped EXO. Nobody looks at Sarah ever again because she's a slut and so gross, all she ever did was meet them at a fansign once and Xiumin touched her on the arm but I couldn't go because I had a cold. She thinks she's so special but she is NOT she is UGLY.

THE END

 

p.s KRYSTAL KEEP AWAY FROM OPPAR YOU TROLLOP

YOU ARE NOTHING

YOUR NOT EVEN PRETTY

8 comments:

  1. krystal is pretty, fuck you amy

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. just read that she's fucking exo kai

      i'm sorry i ever doubted your judgement amy

      Delete
  2. Still better then 99% of fanfics on AFF. I bet if you published it there you would get a star.

    ReplyDelete
  3. The meta levels are off the charts.

    ReplyDelete
  4. The determination levels are low. Amy clearly wrote the angel shit bc she has no idea how gay sex works.

    ReplyDelete