Korean Blood Gang Getting It In On The Dance Floor!?

Big Bang's recent good-bye stage on Inkigayo featured them dressed all in red gangsta outfits.

Some enterprising young troll (or not, never can be sure with these internet types) posts their performance video on World Star Hip Hop. Not only is this meta as fuck to anyone who dabbles in the KPop scene but they had the brassy balls to call Big Bang Bloods. AHAHAHA.

THIS SHIT WRITES ITSELF AHAHAHAHAHA

To those of you not in the know, Bloods are a street gang originally from America. Wikipedia them for more info. But that's not important, the gold mine is the comments section. To be fair, the majority of the comments are questioning why people keep calling Big Bang Japanese, hesitantly liking the song, or just plain laughing at Big Bang's ridiculous outfits.

BUT THAT'S NO FUN AT ALL, LEMME SHOW YOU THE REAL PAYDIRT

AMERICAN DEBUT, HERE WE COOOOOOOOOOOME

"SNSD is 9, 3 means nothing!"

What the fuck? This is one of the reasons I can't stand Sones. "POWER OF NINE DERP DERP!" Man, what part of sub-unit does this person not understand? "Oh no, Yoona is in Love Rain, but the other eight aren't in it! SNSD IS 9, 1 MEANS NOTHING!"

Well, I'm fine with this subunit. The three best singers are in it and I don't have to listen to the other six ruin the songs.

And that shit is why I don't like Sones.

Question of the Week 41

This week's question comes from Paul:
What two songs do you like a lot from groups / singers that you do not particularly like?
Mine are: f(x) - "Hot Summer" & "Lachata" and 4Minute - "HuH" & "For Muzik". Although I am a fan of SNSD, the two songs that I would definitely pick are "Genie" and "The Great Escape"

Hmm. I am going to have to think about this. I do not really listen to any artists I do not particularly like so...

Thank you for your suggestion for this week.

If anyone has suggestions for later Question of the Weeks, please send them to zomg.oppa.sareanghae@gmail.com, or leave them in the comments below. Thanks!

I Herd U Liek Big Groupz

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PURE ELFs

ELFs. Love em or hate em, you can be guaranteed one thing at least. They are some crazy bitches and they stir up the funniest shit. In this latest ELFish crusade, our EverLasting Friends have raised an outcry at perceived insults and injustice. Filled with righteous fury, they've mobilized their troops to declare war on EXO. Again.

Dis gun be good, Siwon.

Baek Ji Young's tits

[MV Review] Girl's Day - Oh! My God

When I wrote SISTAR's MV review asking for a girl group to get crunk at da club, I wasn't really expecting results. Girl's Day's latest comeback kinda sorta hits the spot but not in the way you'd expect.

[MV Review] SISTAR - Alone

SISTAR went to Las Vegas and all they did was film this lousy MV.

"I Want Boobs Like Jessica!"

Hahahahahahahaha. Sica doesn't have huge tits. they're big enough for a handful, but what she was wearing during the MAMAs made her tits like 6 sizes bigger than they actually are.

That's the actual size of her tits. If you really want big tits, shoot for Miyabi Isshiki's tits.

Question of the Week 40

This week's question comes from PainterSpirit:
Which idols currently in a boy/girl group do you think would have the most success as a solo act? Conversely, which idols do you think would have the least success as a solo act/fade into obscurity?

"Our Love Is Real"

Nelson, you're making my job too easy. I'm going to assume that this girl is 12 or some shit. She has no concept of what love is. Wanting an idol to stick his penis in you is lust, not love. It's okay if you want an idol to bang you, but confusing it for love and saying the shit is real is what makes it funny.

I don't understand how you can love someone you don't know, especially a celebrity who doesn't show their true personality out in public. You just "love" a corporate image, not the real thing.

Thank You Hyori

Thank you. View the rest here.

Submissions

A reader sent me some outrageous posts by some Kpop fangirls that I found hilarious. I plan on writing about them this weekend. If anyone finds comments made by a fangirl that they think should be made fun of, send them to my email: antikpopfangirl@yahoo.com. I'm not going to find every single comment out there made by fangirls, so if you guys want to submit some shit, go ahead. Leave a link and/or a screencap.

Also, I'm taking a short break this week because of projects and exams. I probably won't post again until Thursday or Friday.

"Kpop is boring"

I've seen this comment so many times in the past few years. The reason they thought so was obvious each time: they spend too much God damn time listening to Kpop, reading articles about Kpop, discussing Kpop, etc.

Dear Core Contents Media

WHY THE FUCK DID YOU HAVE €23,000 FOR T-ARA IN CASH IN ONE PURSE?

WHY THE FUCK DID EUNJUNG HAVE TO MANAGE IT RATHER THAN SAY, OH, A FUCKING MANAGER?!

WHY THE FUCK DID YOU LET HER RUN OFF ALONE IN MILANO WITHOUT A BODYGUARD?!

WHY IN THE FLYING FUCK SHOULD SHE BE REIMBURSING YOU WHEN SHE GOT MUGGED?!

FUCK YOU CORE CONTENTS MEDIA

AND FUCK YOU CEO KIM KWANG SOO, THE SATAN OF KPOP

Question of the Week 39

Seeing that Nell made their comeback, I thought of this week's Question of the Week.

If there was ONE thing you could change about mainstream Korean music, what would it be?

For me, it would be that rock music would be more popular. It sucks that I have to go on indie sites just to find any Korean rock music. Before I found out about some other rock bands through indie sites, the only rock bands I knew of were Nell and Loveholic, and of course, FT Island and CN Blue as the idol bands.

AKF turns one

Holy shit, I'm surprised this blog is one year old. It seems like it's been longer with all of the different author changes (I've probably had between 20-30 different authors on this blog.) Blogs like this rarely last a week, let alone a year.

I'd like to thank Bom, Daesung, Suzy, Hyoyeon, G.NA, Jiyeon, Hyomin, Jessica, etc. for giving us so much material to work with over the past year.

[MV Review] 4Minute - Volume Up

PoMinitSlut 4Minute makes a long-awaited comeback with Volume Up, and yes, it is a positively fapulous cumback.

Kpop Star's Michelle Lee Isn't Yellow Enough

I don't really follow Kpop Star. I never liked American Idol, The Voice, etc., so why would I bother watching the Korean equivalents? Anyway, Michelle Lee lost despite getting better scores from the judges than the guy who beat her. The guy who ended up advancing only advanced because of the fan vote. It's obvious that even if a half-black/half-Korean girl shits all over the pure Korean in terms of talent, the other Koreans will "stick up" for the pure Korean and vote for him despite him not deserving to move on to the next round. Props to JYP for sticking up for the girl. This kind of situation is exactly why little teenage girls shouldn't be voting for the winners and just let the judges decide.

After School's New Member

After School felt threatened that T-ara was stealing "their concept," so they had to go pick some random girl off the street to become the new member of After School.

MAMA - An EXOploration of the South Korean Oedipal Complex

EXO are sick bastards, and don't let any fangirl tell you otherwise.

But why Zaku, why do you say such things? Watch/listen to MAMA and you'll see why. I've prepared a line by line analysis of EXO's Oedipal complex. Definitely not for the TL;DR folks too lazy to read through a wall of text.

SM Discovers Adblock

As I was watching/reviewing a couple of SM's recently released MVs, I was bugged by a little ad thing that popped up in the video. At first I thought it was just a pop-up and simply moved to close that shit cause it was in the way and highly distracting. To my surprise, my video paused and I realized SM are sneaky bastards and embedded that shit into the video itself. "Ah well," I thought. "Fuck you SM, I'll just download the video off the music portals and in higher definition to boot."

It didn't work, SM embedded the ads in those too. And if you consider MVs to be ads themselves to sell a song/album then...

Okay that was a contrived excuse to make this edit.

My biggest gripe with these ads is how SM is more or less forcing you to look at their ads for a service called EverySing, a highly ludicrous Engrishy pun of a name by the way. I'll download SM's shit illegally, and even I were inclined to "support my oppas/unnies" by purchasing it legally, SM's aggressive ad campaign pushes me away from that EverySing shit and towards iTunes or something out of spite.

It seems like I'm the only one bothered by this cause there sure as hell aren't any commenters on Youtube or elsewhere complaining about it. Either they're eating it up cause Daddy SM told them to, or I'm just irrationally butthurt.

[MV Review] SHINee - Sherlock

AFTER YEARS OF WAITING, MY DARLING TAEMINNIE AND DUBULGE AND MINHO AND DIVAKEY AND DINOJONG HAVE RETURNED TO KOREA TO MAKE ALL THE NOONAS' PANTIES MOIST~~~~~

I LITERALLY CAME BUCKETS FOR THE TEASER PICS (FUCK YOU SM FOR NOT RELEASING THOSE ON TIME BTW), AND WHEN SM FINALLY RELEASED THE MV (FUCK YOU SM FOR DELAYING THE MV TOO OMG NO ONE ELSE HAS TO DEAL WITH THIS SHIT NOT SUJU NOT SNSD WAE. FUCK EXO). PLZ READ MY REVIEW~~~~

"I don't understand Kim Tae Hee's popularity"

I thought the answer was obvious: she's fucking hot. There's an article on Dramabeans about Kim Tae Hee's drama comeback and I happened to see these comments. Naturally these kinds of comments sprout up all the time regardless of who it's about, but it's almost impossible to read a Kim Tae Hee article without seeing comments like that.

4minute is still around

I expected them to break up by now. Each passing year, Hyuna gets more popular and people still don't know the other four.

Question of the Week 38

Okay, I'm taking over QotW temporarily since Shin hasn't been here in two months and all of her queued QotW articles have been posted by now.

With T-ara's impending expansion, do you think T-ara Shi Dae will actually work out for them? Do you think they should have cut some of the members instead?

As for me, I would have preferred 4-ara (Soyeon, Eunjung, Hyomin, and Jiyeon.) Those were the four that got me into liking T-ara because of TTL. After Hwayoung showed her nipple, she got some people to care about her, but the majority of T-ara fans still don't care about her, so I thought this would have been the perfect opportunity to get rid of Hwayoung, Boram, and Qri. But no, my idea makes sense and Kim Kwang Soo never does anything that makes sense.

Bora's Teaser

Not even worth writing anything since every guy will be too focused on the video.

Seungri Caught with Porn, Doesn't Even Curr

Big Bang's very own maknae Seungri was ousted on public TV as one of us.

On the April 3rd episode of SBS ‘Strong Heart‘, G-Dragon began to say, “This may not be surprising because it’s about Seungri, but…”
G-Dragon went on to explain that while Big Bang was in New York City to film their music videos, Seungri briefly borrowed their manager’s laptop.

“Looking at the browsing history after Seungri used the laptop, there were a lot of pornographic videos with blonde ladies in them,” G-Dragon continued. “The internet speed was so slow because we were overseas that he couldn’t even finish downloading the entire video,” he added, causing everyone to explode in laughter.

Oh well, we still think Seungri is a pretty cool guy. He downloads porn and isn’t afraid of anything.

Strangely enough, there were some netizens who insisted on defending Seungri.


"OPPA DIDN'T MEAN IT" or "OPPA WAS WATCHING BASEBALL VIDEOS" Come on you fangirls, just cause Seungri would rather fap to real women instead of your creepy selves doesn't make him any less of a man. In fact, you should be happy this proves he's a normal, healthy guy.


Oh wait, your shipping fantasies would go up in smoke if his sexuality isn't ambiguous anymore? Riiiiiiiight.

Kwang Hee says no more plastic surgery

That's a damn shame. I wanted him to end up like Jocelyn Wildenstein.

[MV Review] Nine Muses - TICKET

Although this is a late review, Nine Muses' latest release comes hot on the heels of their last comeback single. TICKET marks the Muses' third collaboration with Sweetune, but should that be cause for concern? Not really.

Spica Painkiller

This is another hard MV to review. The song is good and everyone can sing. That's right, in a five member idol group, everyone can sing. It's like the fucking Twilight Zone or some shit.

Really, I just have to give props to Lee Hyori. Instead of following the trend and only finding one main vocalist for the group, she found five. All five of these girls could probably be the main vocalist for a group. Instead of basing a group around looks and hoping they get popular through variety shows or dramas (should they actually get any roles), Hyori went back to the basics and made this idol group based around music.

Honestly, it's hard to do reviews when good songs come out. Zaku has some reviews of shitty songs coming up, so look forward to those.

Shinhwa Venus + Eat Your Kimchi

This is seriously the hardest review I've ever had to do on AKF. There's nothing to make fun of, the song is good, Shinhwa doesn't have any worthless members, etc. Buuuuuuuuuuuuuut I heard of a video from Eat Your Kimchi that discusses Shinhwa.